Those Damned Camera Phones
by Nibbz
Summary: Yuffie was once again in trouble when she ran into the red headed Turk. After a chase the decide to hang out, drink, and watch fire works. Yuffie and Reno keep their feelings hidden and so Reno's phone takes matters into its own buttons.
1. Run away and meet an old friend

_DAMN THOSE CAMERA PHONES!_

**Disclaimer: I dun't own anything. Nothing. Nadda. Zip.**

**This was brought to you by Nibbs and BB. We worked so hard on this, and we're even doing some art for it also! Any art for this fic is gladly loved to death. It took us several days of not going to bed for a long time to get all of this edited/rp'ed out of our minds. Hope you love our crack-love-ness-of-love. Please enjoy our hard work and crazy minds! Much love to everyone who reads! RenoxYuffie!!  
**

_I! I the great ninja of Wutai was currently speeding away from idiots who... Contently left their wallet on the ground. I mean COME ON. It was shiny. Besides they could never catch the SUPER-DUPER GREAT NINJA!! WHOOHOOO!!_ Yuffie thought as she was running up walls, hoping over fences and dodging her chasers. With simple ease, that was until she crashed into some poor soul. She landed promptly on her ass as well as the poor soul.

"AH SHIT! SORRY!" Yuffie exclaimed as she scrambled to get up. The two fat guys where climbing up the fence now. She looked up at the soul and it had red spiky hair... "Oh My Gawd... Turkey?" Yuffie questioned her own sanity. _AM I INSANE? TURKEY BOY?! DUDE, NO WAIT! It's Axel... I think._

Reno had made his way into Traverse Town. He had wanted to check this place out for a long time coming and so he finally found his opportunity. He was mild-mannerly walking around enjoying the scenery. Reno checked out some shops, scoped for some bars, and talked to some locals.

So far everything was satisfactory. Until something ran into him. Scratch that, it wasn't something, it was someone. That someone just so happened to be the Ninja Girl herself, Yuffie. What was she doing here? Probably stealing materia or something. He head collided straight to his chest and he fell flat on his ass. He heard her call him Turkey as he stood up to dust off his suit. "Ha, ha, Yuff. What's the rush? Obviously you knew I was in town and couldn't resist and so you had to tackle me in the middle of the streets. After we both recover you plan on sexually propositioning me. Sorry to ruin your plans, but don't fret... I'm game." He smirked.

Yuffie shook her head. "Dude. I didn't know that you where here. Oh shiiiittt!!" She looked behind her to see the two guys finishing hoping the fence to chase her, and yelling profanities. "Sorry, but I gotta keep this nice wallet I found." She waved it in front of Reno's face, it was bulging with gil. "So, you can join me in my grand plan or be boring and try to hook up with some boring broads around here. Oh and Tifa still hates your guts!" Yuffie told Reno as she replaced the wallet back in her pocket.

Reno smiled, "Well maybe you didn't know, but I bet you missed me." Abruptly she shoved a wallet in front of his face." He weighed the options, and he decided 'why not?' Tifa did not hate his guts! He was certain of that. Stupid Yuffie jokes. "Pft. The Great Ninja rarely misses anyone. And she didn't miss a stinky turkey. Maybe a certain _Turkey_ missed her." She flashed her toothy grin, then started to climb up the wall that was nearby.

People swore that Yuffie was going to be the next Spider-man, only a woman. Once on top of the building she called down to him. "OH AND RENO!" She pulled out a second wallet. "I believe that this is yours! And sorry about you not finding any good broads to hook up with! She waved down at him smiling... Tauntingly. She disappeared for a second the returned to the edge. "Oh I'm 21 now. You need to buy me a Margarita. You promised!" She watched the Red-Head climb up the wall faster than she did. _DAMNIT! Time to train some more later. I must defeat him. I NEED MY NINJA PRIDE BACK!! _Yuffie yelled in her head.

Reno climbed the wall faster than Yuffie had. Pe ople though he had spider blood in his veins. "Oh. This wallet is staying with me until I get my drink." He looked over to her momentarily, "Fine, but if you loose it you owe me every single gil in there." With that she instantly hid it down her shirt. She knew Reno wouldn't dare to go down there fearing Tifa's wrath if she found out. Reno watched as she hid it in her shirt. _Blast._ He couldn't get it... well he could. Only if he wanted to get scolded and continually beat by Tifa. Who knows, she may even cut him off for that sort of behavior.

He ran up beside her, "All right I will, but to buy you that margarita... I'm going to need that." He pointed to his wallet in Yuffie's clutches. He was so on top of his game. Yuffie quickly looked over the edge. The two guys where still after her. "Hmm. They really want this wallet. I wonder whats in it. But that will be after we loose them." She smiled at Reno.

"Whatever it is maybe we can use it to our advantage later." Reno drawled as he looked over the edge also. They where very slow. Yuffie was out of her A game or was just teasing them. Without a word, or sound Yuffie instantly start to hop across the rooftops, heading toward the clock tower. He followed her keeping instep with her all the way to the clock tower.

"Fine fine." Yuffie answered he reply while jumping to the third building, she rolled her eyes. _Like I would loose it first. Second? Owing him money? Pft. No ninja owed anyone anything. Not even a Princess Ninja would pay him back. _They quickly lost the two men, but Yuffie didn't stop until they where up on the highest balcony of the clock tower.

She sat down, brought the first wallet out and opened it. "Wow... Look at that." It was a key with tons of rare jewels set in it. Reno smiled back at her with his eyes scanning her face. She was an odd one for sure. He quickly glanced at the key; jewels and precious things were always out of his reach so he was unamused. He kind of liked the view from up here. It was serene, it was perfect really. No matter how trite that thought was.

"Hey! I wonder how much gil I can get with this! Or materia!" She turned it around in the fading light pondering. "Oh when does the bar close? Since you owe _me_ a drink?" She looked at Reno with her energetic smile back on. He racked his brain for an20answer. Reno winked, "Just let me take care of that. Wallet good Ninja Princess, and I will be back in a flash with enough drinks for the whole night." He was going for charming instead of cocky bastard this time.

Yuffie looked up into the sky, puckered her lips and simply stated, "I don't think I trust you with bringing all of the drinks back.. But if I get at least one I'll be happy." while waving her legs back and forth against the stone. He lo- liked the way she looked right then. It was se- so cute. "Well at least you trust me somewhat." He smiled and let his eyes glance up at the night sky. A full moon, a cliche, but fitting. Reno watched as she rhythmically waved her legs.

With that she promptly fished out his wallet, rubbed it on her jeans and handed it to him. "Hope you don't mind it being down my shirt. Also don't forget not to tell Tifa anything. Since I'm suppose to keep my hands off of anyone's wallet." She rolled her head back all the way and looked at Reno, smiling. On the night he gets back she gets to drink. Since it _was_ her birthday yesterday, an added bonus.

His head turned and observed as she fished his wallet out. He oddly felt like laughing, "No I don't mind. I won't, I'm good with my mouth." He paused and smirked, "So I can keep it shut Princess." His eyes looked at hers as her head seemed to crane back to look at him. She looked genuinely happy. "Alright I'll be back. Don't worry your pretty little head off." He smirked as he jumped down to a roof top and began his way to the bar.

Yuffie watched him go, slightly sad about it. Not knowing if he was going to disappear again, like the night when their world disappeared. That was a hectic night, trying to find everyone and failing. But recently more and more of their friends have been re-appearing. Which cheered Yuffie up, including the heartless which have been down in numbers thanks to Sora, Kairi and Riku to some extent. She missed those guys, teasing all of them. Mainly Riku with his man skirt, she smiled at that thought. "Heh. Man skirt." She whispered, staring at the stars.

Pretty much like the night when all hell broke loose, a couple years ago. Yuffie smiled, _that was then. And now is now. AND... THE GREAT NINJA IS GOING TO GET TOTALLY SMASHED TONIGHT!! "Whooohooo!_" She cheered punching her fists up in the air. Now the waiting had begun.

**- - - **

**Reviews are loved.**

**Party time naow.**


	2. Fireworks and Beer

**Disclaimer: Once again I own nothing.**

**Noootthhiiinnnngggg...**

Reno jumped from roof tops toward the bar and thought back to the old days. Yeah Yuffie and him hadn't been too close or all that good of friends, but maybe that could change. He was just glad that he had found all of them. Reno didn't want to be lost. He jumped off the last roof top and made his way into the bar. The chaos and the smoke rushed him. He walked toward the bar and ordered a margarita and about twelve beers.

He would find some way to carry them. He paid in full and then exited down the street. He rolled up the bottom of his shirt full of beer. He slid the belt through the loops and then latched the roll into a stable position. The breeze hit his abs and he shivered slightly. He then scaled the buildings and made his return to Yuffie.

Yuffie watched the red-head climb up with his shirt rolled up which was full of booze. She raised an eyebrow at the man, "So. How much booze did ya buy?" She didn't move to help him since she knew that he wouldn't ask for it, or even need it. But the great ninja did spot her drink. He made his way up the tower and handed Yuffie the margarita. "I only bought enough for a true good time." He unbelted it and then carefully set the beers down to the side. He slipped off his over-jacket and placed it to the side. He carefully grabbed and uncapped one.

"Hell yeah! Mini party time!" The energy pill exploded inside the ninja, she was hyper, swinging her feet faster now and wiggling around on the railing. He looked to Yuffie and smirked, "Cheers Princess." He clinked his glass against hers. Tonight was going to be a hell of a night.

Yuffie smiled as she cheered with him. "Cheers Turkey boy!" She took a small sip, sighed and smiled. She rolled her eyes over to him, "So... What have you been up to these past years? Any fun adventures?" She loved hearing about adventures. More if she was part of them, like the one today. She still had the key, but it was down one of her many pockets. He gave her a playful glare and then smiled. She knew how to get him, but he still lo-liked her for it. "Um... let's see, traveling to different worlds for a little while and then got into a couple fights." He cocked his head to the right and looked up to the sky as he drunk deeply. "Same old, same old." He chuckled brightly. "You should have been there. Would have been better." He didn't know what it was but somehow Yuffie wormed her way into his heart.

Yuffie slowly took a drink then looked at Reno. "Same old, same old? That _never_ happens with the Red-Headed Turkey. Besides I want to hear about these _fights_. Then I'll tell you about some of mine." She smirked, she didn't believe him for one second about the same old, same old crap.

Reno smirked. That was Yuffie, disbelieving as usual. "Well I could tell you later. You look like you need another drink." He grabbed a drink for Yuffie and himself. He unbuttoned a few buttons from the top of his shirt and then two at the bottom. Three lone buttons held this shirt together and kept him from cooling off. He was about to tell he about one of his 'infamous fights' when Yuffie suddenly yelled out.

"Oh, look!" She pointed toward the horizon, fireworks where crackling away, and they had a perfect view. "I totally forgot that there was a celebration today for Sora! But man we do have a great view!" The ecstatic ninja always loved fireworks. He nodded in silent agreement as he looked at her. Her face full of amazement. "Absolutely fantastic view." He then rubbed the back of his neck, "You ok?"

Yuffie looked at him, "When have I've not been ok?" She raised her eyebrow in question, maybe he was already tipsy. Yuffie didn't know her drinking limits... _yet._ She gladly accepted the beer, but she already missed the sweet taste of the Margarita. "Hmm. This beer isn't too bad." Yuffie stated after taking a drink. "It's time for my stories since you're officially a calm turkey now! I've had plenty of fights with Organization 13, heartless and fighting along Sora and all of our buddies here. I even fought a huge wave of heartless all at one time. It was soo hard though! Even for the Great Ninja Princess of Wutai! Can you believe that?!" Now she was feeling a little…light.

Reno smiled, "Well, you may be ok... but I'm not. I'm stifling in this. So if it's alright with you Princess I'd like to discard my shirt thanks." He wasn't sure why he was over heating like this. "Sure go ahead and strip. I'm totally not taking any pictures and posting them up all over the place." Yuffie murmured, she had forgotten her camera phone at the house. _Damnit when I needed it the most I forgot. I'm loosing my bet with Beefa now. Maaannn.._

Reno's eyebrows rose in surprise, "You've been busy then. Nope, can't believe it." Reno undid the last three buttons and tossed his shirt over to his jacket. He felt the cool night air hit him and he shivered slightly. Damn did he feel better. "Well let's see… got into a couple drunken brawls, some fights with some guys in black cloaks, and I did a bit of2 0exploring of a few worlds. Nothing to strenuous." He took another large sip of his beer.

"Oh dudes in Black cloaks? Those are the O 13 guys. Pretty annoying. One kinda looks like ya. Except he's a lot taller, and thin. Like you got put into a taffy puller or something weird like that." Yuffie commented. The fireworks continued and the ninja sat, drank and watched them.

He smiled, "Sure you're not. You totally didn't ninja my camera phone out of my pocket." He couldn't help but smirk. He thought about it, yeah he did see a red head that looked a bit like20him. He was about an inch or two taller than him. "Well, I do enjoy taffy." He let out a short chuckle. He looked up as a bright blue one exploded into orbit.

"WAIT! You like taffy?" Yuffie turned around toward him, trying to ignore the fact he didn't have a shirt one. Reno chuckled again, "Yes, I do like taffy." She was amused by the littlest thing. Then suddenly a thunderclap thundered through the sky, and Yuffie felt it. "Whooaaah." She said as the great ninja was grandly distracted again by the fireworks. "Hey hey! That one looks like a heart!" The bundle of energy pointed out. He took out his camera phone and took a shot of the heart. "Yeah, it really does look like it. "

"You have a camera phone? I WANT!" She held out her free hand and gave Reno puppy eyes, while she took another drink of the beer. "See I'm asking first instead of taking." The ninja smirked, she was now guessing where the magical phone could be.

"Yeah, course I do. Well, if you want it... gimmie a kiss." He was trying not to laugh. Maybe he was getting a bit tipsy, but he didn't care. He had once asked Yuffie out when he was drunk and she had simply stated that she didn't date poultry. So he felt no imminent danger.

The ninja glanced over at the now exposed phone. She pouted then planned, and came up with an evil idea. That was doomed to fail. "How about this then.. You gimme t he camera phone. I take some fluffy pictures of us then I get to have fun with it?" She answered to the Red head's offer. He looked at her bemused and was about to concede when... In a flash she reached out to retrieve the phone without having to promise anything to him.

**- - - **

**Uh oh. Yuffie's totally going to get in trouble agains. **


	3. Demonic Camera Phone

**Disclaimer: I own nothing... Which makes me sad.**

"You evil little SNEAK!!" Reno yelled as he set his beer down and pounced on the ninja. He pinned her down and held her wrists down with both hands. This position was terribly awkward. If Tifa were here she would claim that he was trying to "take advantage of poor Yuffie." In his mind he chuckled at that idea. _Poor Yuffie? As if._

CLICK.

Yuffie's eyes where wide in fear. She hear a camera click and it was the camera phone. Reno too, had heard the resounding click that came from said camera phone. That was sent sprawling away as Reno tackled her for his phone, she looked behind her. The phone was in the most perfect position for taking a picture of the situation that they where in. How the hell that managed she would never find out.

"Ah shit!" Yuffie swore, her plan failed. Horribly. She quickly rolled over, disrupting Reno's balance and made a grab the phone. He saw her eye grow wide and she flipped him. Normally if he had been more observant he could have prevented that. He out weighed her immensely with muscle. Yuffie ignored the beer that was rolling around now.

"I AM DELETING THAT!" She yelled as she made a grab for the phone. Reno tried to stifle the laughter trying to erupt from his throat as she dashed for the phone. He grabbed her around her waist and somehow she ended up in his lap. "Oh no you're not." The Turkey drawled out

CLICK.

Another accidentally inappropriate picture taken. "Bloody hell! If Tifa gets a hold of these pictures we're both seriously DEAD MEAT!" The scrawny girl tried to free herself but failed once again. Would you mind letting go of me?" Yuffie questioned looking up at Reno. She quickly looked back toward the phone realizing that she was in fact in **Reno's lap, without his shirt on**.

Her face turned slightly red as she tried to struggle for the phone again. The fireworks continued to go off in the background sending colored lights around them. "Grrrrr...!"

She manged to touch the back of the phone as its robotic voice stated words she didn't want to hear.

BEEP, IMAGE SENT.

The ninja's eyes became very wide and she whispered, "Oh shit."

Reno was sick of Yuffie's struggling. He feared for his body's well being. He then pulled her up out his lap and pushed her against the wall. Again another inappropriate pose, but he had hoped that they were now out of the camera's view. He had noticed that she had blushed and smirked at her. He looked back at the phone as he again heard,

CLICK.

He tried not to panic. They didn't know where the pictures had been sent or even if they had been caught in this pose as well. He let his head fall on her shoulder.

CLICK.

He then screamed, "DAMN PHONE!" This is not what he had planned. Not what he had planned at all.

IMAGES SENT.

"DAMNIT! I SWEAR YOUR PHONE IS OUT TO GET US!" Yuffie yelled in panic as she continued to try to grab at the phone. "Can you let me go so I can at least stop the pictures being sent to god knows who?" Yuffie instantly regretting saying those words. It seemed like Reno's phone was really out to get the both of them, and crush their party, plus it was somehow voice activated.

IMAGES SENT TO-

"OH DEAR GOD NO!" Yuffie yelled fearing the names about to be spoken.

-ELENA,

TSENG,

RUFUS SHINRA,

CLOUD STRIFE,

VINCENT VALENTINE.

"Well... We're screwed... Cloud and Vincent are both going to skin us alive." The ninja groaned. "I'm pretty sure we are." He placed his forehead on hers.

CLICK.

Reno was going to kill his phone. He didn't mind the pictures; it was who the damn phone sent the pictures to. "If I let you go you're going to chuck my phone off a cliff, and I need that phone." He tried to think of how to save the both of them from the wrath of Vincent and Cloud. "Um... got any ideas?" He looked down to make sure he didn't look more naked than shirtless. No, he still had pants. However, they had lowered enough to flash glimpses of his black boxers underneath. "DAMN THE WORLD!"

Normally at this time Yuffie would have been blushing a deep red, but she was more afraid of the men coming after them. Mainly Vincent, Tifa had Cloud on a leash, Vinny? Nope…full wrath there.

"Hokay, before the phone damns us again. You go pick up the phone and stop it. While I think of a plan to save our asses kay? Kay. Oh nice boxers, by the way..." Now her hands where pinned and she waved them around to make her words seem more dramatic…or something along those lines.

MEANWHILE...

The chocobo haired man was sitting in one of the lounging chairs in the Seventh Heaven when his phone vibrated. _Oh dear god. Not another text from Yuffie._ Cloud calmly pulled out his phone and opened it; he swore his jaw just fell off. Yuffie and... _**THAT BASTARD OF A TURK!**_ He quickly rose from his chair thinking of where they could be, countless places.  
"Hey Cloud? What's up?" He froze. Tiiffa... _oooh shit._ If Cloud told her, she would have a super cow about it.  
"Nothing much. Just felt like riding around for a bit. I'll c ome back." _Niiicceee cover up..._ The blond thought.  
"Okay then. See you later." Tifa went back upstairs and fell asleep. Now the hunt was on for the red head.

At the same moment...

Vincent looked at the table, his phone was ringing. Calmly he opened it with his golden claw while continuing to look at his book. Then over to the phone, then back to his book, and another startled look at the phone. Vincent was rarely surprised with anything, but this took the mother-freaking-cake.

Reno smirked and then kissed Yuffie's cheek, and

CLICK.

"Alright Princess." He let her go and smiled widely, "Glad you like them." Reno walked over and then picked up the phone and hit the power button. The damn phone was finally off and had ceased its damnation of the pair. He looked over his shoulder and smirked at Yuffie, "You may call me a savior now." He then turned and ran his hand through his hair, "Any ideas?"

Rufus and the other Turks had all gone out to a bar and almost simultaneously their phones rang. It was almost a domino effect. Tseng opened his phone and his eyes widened and almost seemed to bulge from his head. He then showed Rude who put a hand over his mouth. Elena opened her phone and her mouth dropped open and remained agape.

Finally Rufus flipped open his phone and spied the source of their extreme and immense shock. He saw Reno...and YUFFIE? It was astonishing and astounding. He had no words. His eyes must be as wide, if not wider than Tseng's, and he should probably pick his mouth off of the floor. He immediately ordered another round of beers for him and all of the Turks. Reno would have plenty of explaining to do when Rufus and the Turks cornered the red head.

**- - - **

**Reviews are highly loved.**

**And keep an eye on your camera phones.**


	4. Showers and Towels for All!

**Holy crap! A lot of reviews the night we posted this up. We love you all and here's another update to satisfy your addiction! (I think..)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.. (WHYYYYY?? Cry)**

Reno nodded. The increasing heat and the close proximity of the two was torture. He was sweating profusely and felt bad that Yuffie was so close to his indescribably sweat coated torso. He tried to think of another hiding place. There was that one deserted inn not too far from here. They had a shower and beds. Both things seemed to call him desperately. Reno heard Yuffie voice her complaint about the key jabbing her in the thigh. Well, at least she had an object causing her discomfort. Just the closeness of Yuffie was an awkward discomfort to him. Just the closeness of all her extremities was wearing on his self-control and his sanity.

Damn her groaning! He decided right then and there that even though another minute would be nice he needed to get out of there. "Ok, time up. Follow me." He pushed the clock open and let her leave first. Yuffie sighed in relief, "Air.. I missed you." As she quickly crawled up to the ledge and hid behind it waiting for Reno to jump on over. She wasn't really worried about Cloud finding her, she could easily evade him.20But Vincent? Well, if he came anywhere near here, they where seriously screwed big time.

Carefully she pulled out the unopened beer and placed them in her pockets, secured them with the velcro in her pockets. "Lead away!" Yuffie whispered to Reno. Her brain was whirling of thoughts of Reno and she tried to hack them away with Chibi-Yuffie…but Chibi-Yuffie somehow always failed.

Reno smiled at Yuffie's display and couldn't agree more. Reno took a couple looks to the left and right making sure the coast was clear. He didn't need to find out that Cloud had been hiding out and tailed them to their new hiding spot.

Reno watched Yuffie gather up the beer, damn he was about to do the same thing. Reno tried to shake his thoughts of Yuffie, but failed miserably. He pushed them from the fore front of his mind for now and jumped down onto one of the lower rooftops and made his way toward the abandoned inn. "This way Princess."

Yuffie quickly followed Reno, while rolling her eyes, with beer in tow. She kept silent, with her mouth and footsteps. She prayed that Cloud wouldn't find them, but was more worried about Vincent. The ninja didn't dare question where Reno was leading her but hopefully to a place where they could hide out until the heat went down. With a shower included, maybe a fridge too, with some food.

Yuffie imagined herself trying to buy food without anyone finding her and failing horrible. Her outfit screamed ninja, then Reno; he would be a bright red beacon with his hair. Chibi-Yuffie groaned in Normal-Yuffie's mind since Normal-Yuffie couldn't groan now without someone finding them and skinning them alive.

Reno saw the inn crash into view. He jumped from the last roof top and landed perfectly on top of the inn's roof. He checked around, he wasn't too paranoid. Just taking precautions necessary when you had Strife and Valentine on your ass. He then slipped through an open window and inspected the place. No sign of other life. "Coast is clear. Come on in." He waited for Yuffie to slip through the window. Yuffie also looked around, slightly paranoid, and gracefully slid through the window.

He knew how to pick hiding spots. This one had certainly been well equiped. Beds, showers (he didn't know if they worked or not), and plenty of space to hide in the event either Vincent or Cloud found this place. He smiled and looked over to Yuffie, "Alright Princess, what do you think?"

The princess looked around the place, it did have good hiding places but the fact was…"It looks like a fucking dump." Short and blunt. With paint peeling off the wall, stuff maybe crawling away from the duo that just entered, don't get Yuffie started on the dust.

Reno chuckled, "Well, if we hid in a palace Princess, they would surly find us. If we hide in a 'dump' they won't look for us. Beggars can't be choosers." He kind of liked that she spoke her mind. He hated when people beat around the bush to spare people's feelings. Bluntness was considered an endearing quality to him.

"But I don't really mind that much, since I do _have_ beer." The girl held one up, "So... does this place have a working shower? I smell horrible." Yuffie even included a disgusted face. "Oh, is there food also? I'm starting to get slightly hungry." Right on cue, her stomach growled.

He smiled, it was definitely good thinking on her part. Beer made everything better. He pointed to the showers in the far right corner, "I don't know if they necessarily work, but you can try them. Meanwhile, I will go search for some food." He tried not to burst out laughing at the rather loud rumbling of Yuffie's stomach. Reno descended down the stairs and found a fridge and a pantry. He silently whispered, "Don't be full of old expired food." what he found was somewhat immaculate.

Yuffie placed the beer down on the table and went inside the bathroom. She tried the shower and it... worked! "YES! One for the Great Ninja!!" She cheered as she quickly stripped and jumped into the shower. It felt nice to remove all the sweat from the cramped hiding place. Just thinking about it made Yuffie blush, so she shook her head. _Cool down Yuffsters. Tis ok. You can make it through this._ She sighed, turned off the shower and looked around for a towel. She found one, dried herself off, and then looked around.

The ninja forgot to grab some spare clothing. "Aw hell." The towel clad girl groaned. She didn't want to put her dirty clothes back on, nor go out there in a _towel_ looking for dry clothes, but the ninja had to. She carefully cracked the door and leaned slightly out. "Hey Reno?" She called softly. "Reeennnnoooo?"

Inside the cabinets he found loads of non-expired food, and the fridge was stocked. _Why it was stocked?_ Reno didn't care. He found an old tablecloth and wrapped everything up in it. He started up the stairs, and almost found himself loosing his footing and crashing to the landing. Yuffie was standing there... in nothing but a towel. He needed to get a grip. If he kept t his up he was going to get into deeper trouble than he already was. "W-" he cleared his throat, "What Yuffie?" Suddenly he was the one who needed the shower.

The ninja smiled innocently. "I don't have any clean clothes... I don't want to put my dirty ones back on…any ideas?" Yuffie wanted to laugh so much at Reno's surprise at her and his near-death experience. Reno hated that innocent look on her face. She probably knew damn well it was her fault for his near-death experience. He would have groaned at Yuffie's words if it hadn't been for his self-restraint.

"Um... there's a laundry room down here. After we eat you can look for suitable clothing." H onestly Reno didn't give a damn about clothing... his mind was definitely on other things. Once again the ninja's mind was quickly distracted, "Oh wow! You found a lot of food! What kind of stuff is in there?" The ninja was tempted to go closer to him, but she decided not to, she didn't need him to die, with Cloud and Vinny hunting her down.

"I do hope most of it's cooked because we don't have anything to cook them with safely. Right?" She asked Reno."The food for the most part are things that don't need cooking, but if we need something cooked..." He looked to the left. "...there is a stove down here." Reno made his way up the stairs and it seemed with each step his self-restraint was being tested.

Yuffie knew full well that it was a bad idea to test Reno's self-restraint but she didn't care. She wanted clothes and some food, mainly clothes. "SWEET! A laundry room!!" The ninja cheered as she bolted down the stairs, clinging onto her towel. She did a sharp turn into the laundry room and BEHOLD! "CLOTHES! YES!" Yuffie felt like she was the Queen of the world now. One day she _would_ be a queen, but not of the world sadly.

Rummaging around the pile of clothes Yuffie finally found some stuff in her own size, only two things, a bra and undies. Everything else was too big. So she just grabbed the smallest shirt and pants. Both where about two sizes too big. "Man... why do I have to be soo tiny?" Yuffie complained as she tried to tie the pants up, she didn't even _bother_ with trying to fix the shirt from falling off her shoulders.

Rummaging around the pile of clothes Yuffie finally found some stuff in her own size, only two things, a bra and undies. Everything else was too big. So she just grabbed the smallest shirt and pants. Both where about two sizes too big. "Man... Why do I have to be soo tiny!" Yuffie complained as she tried to ties the pants up, she didn't even bother with trying to fix the shirt from falling off her shoulders.

Reno shook his head as he heard her rummaging around for clothes. He knew that he was in need for a shower. It was soon to be a mandatory thing. He untied the tablecloth and began setting up the food. He couldn't believe their luck... other than the whole camera phone thing and having Strife and Vincent on them. He contemplated on whether or not he should wait for Yuffie to eat. He sighed, he would wait.

Reno waited impatiently for Yuffie to climb up the stairs. When she did... he about had a heart attack again. _Damn_. The shirt she was wearing was breaking his self-control down with a high-powered jack-hammer. Reno definitely wanted that shower now. Preferably _cold_.

Yuffie plopped down and looked at the table. "Sweet! Food!" She noticed that Reno was currently staring.. and staring. The ninja looked to the side, then the other side, back to the red head now and stated. "Um Reno. You know you can go and have a shower now right?" She even pointed to the door of the bathroom that was now open. Reno shook his head and returned back to reality. "After I eat." He began to pick at the food he had placed before them. He ate very minimally. He wasn't all that ravenously hungry.

"Oh, shit! Forgot my clothes in there. I'm gonna get those." Ungracefully, Yuffie got up from her chair, gathered the forsaken clothes and placed them into one of the many corners of the room. Since there wasn't any drawers she could put them in. Afterwards Yuffie was once again in her chair starting to chow down, rapidly.

Reno had eaten enough to be satisfied and then made his way to the shower. He discarded what remaining clothing he was wearing and stepped into the shower. The warm water hit his back and he closed his eyes and smiled. He decided this was perhaps the best shower he may ever have in his life. He rinsed the sweat off of and tried to get his mind off of Yuffie. Yuffie, the evil, vexing, ninja. Doing so still remained an impossibility. Reno turned the water off and wrapped a towel around his waist. He smiled evilly, pay back truly was a bitch.

Yuffie was finished eating so to cure her new boredom she looked around the foods.. Then she spotted something that made her grin evilly.. A fortune COOKIE. Yuffie loved those things and went nuts over them. So she went nuts. "THIS FORTUNE COOKAH IS MINE NOW!" The ninja quickly grabbed it, ripped the wrapper in pieces and cracked it to see the fortune. "What the hell?" The princess wondered..

"Watch out. Oh, don't forget to duck. Hey Reno what does this mean?" She turned toward the now open bathroom door and had a heart attack of her own. Chibi-Yuffie suddenly exploded screaming, _'WHYYYYY??'_ in a shower of confetti.

Reno smirked, he knew Yuffie was suffering the exact same way he had suffered. He causally sauntered over to her and smiled. "What?" He took the fortune and reread it. That was oddly specific to their current situation. Reno went back into the bathroom and slipped his boxers back on. "What? Indecency is what! I'm sorry but you can't copy my moves!" Yuffie complained as Reno retreated back to the bathroom. "Huff.. Meanie." The ninja murmured to herself.

Unlike Yuffie, Reno didn't have any objections to putting on less than clean clothes. He then slid on his black pants. While doing so he looked into the mirror's reflection of the outside window. The Turk saw outside, a blur of red storming their way. _Shit._

Suddenly Reno came bursting out of the bathroom freaking out, "What the hell is goin-?" Sadly the poorly clad girl couldn't finish her question as the wall suddenly exploded. She did duck, but it was slightly too late for that. Thankfully the flying debris didn't hit her or Reno. She looked up and her jaw dropped.

"What the HELL? I thought you where fucking dead!" In the newly created hole stood..

**- - - **

**DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNN!!**

**BWEHAHHAAHAAAA!**

**To make up to you, I've drawn and colored a picture! For your enjoyment! Nibbz. deviantart .com  
**


	5. Can't people just stay dead?

**Disclaimer: I will never own anything. Sadly. **

Axel?

The ninja thought it would be the gun toting vampire, but no. They get to deal with the Origination 13 groupies again. Yuffie thought it was bad, but it only got worse. Behind Axel was Xemnas himself, the ninja only heard stories about this bad-ass from Sora. Sora made him seem more... evil?

Reno looked at the fellow red head with surprise. "What the hell?" The face looked almost exactly like his, and Yuffie was wrong. They were the same exact height. It was almost like looking at some long lost twin or something. He looked at the other man standing there. These were not the two he had met before . Reno waited for... Axel. Yes, Axel to talk and clinch his idea of Axel being his long lost twin.

Axel just smiled at Yuffie, they had met before but only for a couple minutes of fighting. With Sora busting in at the end and screwing up the fight.

"Nice to see you too Yuffie. Oh, by the way nice clothes." He drawled while looking pointy at the ninja's loose outfit. He was only met with a cold glare, and her middle finger.

"Aww don't be so cold to me. I just might have to heat things up." A small fire suddenly appeared in his hand, Yuffie had no weapons… yet. Thankfully her pile of clothing was nearby with her mini-stars, smoke bombs and flash grenades stashed in the pile. Reno's eyes widened considerably. Yep, that voice almost matched his. He watched as Axel made the fire miraculously appear out of thin air. If they were twins... where was his awesome fire power?

Axel took a quick glance toward the man and was shocked in the process. It was him, only slightly different. Without a shirt on too. Yuffie was slowly edging toward her clothes, which where on the other side of Reno. Axel returned his attention towards Yuffie; she was the most dangerous one at the second. "So… Who's your buddy here?" Axel questioned the now frozen girl.

"Reno. Got it memorized?" Yuffie growled.

"Aww baby that hurts. Insulting my famous line like that." Axel pretended that he got shot in the heart, from the ninja's words.

Reno smirked. That was Yuffie, always had a smart ass retort. "So, Axel eh? Why don't you and your friend here leave?" He said no nchalantly. He stepped toward the man and kept his hands in his pockets. "Nice hair by the way." He smirked. He was not intimidated by these two.

Axel cocked his head looking at Reno. "I would like to my... copy-cat. But your little ninja girlfriend has something of ours." Copy-cat? Copy-cat! If anyone was the copy-cat it was Axel.

Yuffie was going to tell Reno to be careful, but decided against it. He never listened to her anyway. While both men where slightly distracted Yuffie dove for her clothes, pulled out two shurikens and threw them at both men. Xemnas caught one, the other. It was lodged nicely in Axel's hair. "She's not my..." he was about to conclude his sentence when the shuriken landed in Axel's hair.

**"Shit." Yuffie murmured. _Well. That plan fucking went to hell. Plan... Q!_ Yuffie was soo incredibly dead. If this guy was anything like himself, he was incredibly obsessive compulsive about his hair. In the second the ninja grabbed some black orbs, Axel was standing right over her, pissed. Yep. Definitely just like Reno. Forgetting about the stand off with Reno, Axel was more concerned about his hair. **

**  
"Axel…" Xemnas butted in grabbing Axel's shoulder, he didn't care. **

**  
"Why you arrogant little..." Axel growled.  
**

**  
"ARROGANT. LITTLE. THIS!" Yuffie yelled. She threw the orbs right into Axel's face, they promptly exploded. One was flash the other was smoke. Grabbing her loot then Reno she ran for gaping hole, praying that both of them where stunned long enough for the jump. _Shit this was one hell of a night! _Reno complained in his mind.**

**Shit!! Yuffie yelled in her mind. This is NOT good NOT GOOD! She gracefully landed on one of the lower buildings and started to bolt off. She didn't have escape plans, and a few shurikens and look what good that did. Stopped them only for a few seconds and pissed them off even MORE! "Hey Reno got any ideas?" Yuffie called over her shoulder. Reno had landed beside Yuffie as some form of ideas of what to do next flooded his head.**

**Yuffie skirted behind one of the larger chimneys and quickly pulled out the wallet and key she stole strapped them under her clothes and hid her regular clothes at the base of it in the darkness. She reappeared again to meet Reno just running by.**

**Yuffie's plan, while amiable had ended in failure and ultimately with more people tailing them. With Yuffie's words in mind he tried to mentally navigate. He then finally stopped trying to grasp at straws and came up with a new hiding spot. "This way. New idea. New spot." Time was of the essence. So he hoped she got his drift.**

**Yuffie didn't bother answering him, she just followed him praying that they would get out of this crap alive. The ninja did a quick glance behind her and instantly regretted it. Axel was already catching up, and Xemnas, well he just disappeared. _Maybe since Axel fucked up, he as to make things up._ The ninja thought. **

**  
"COME BACK HERE BRAT!" Axel yelled chasing Yuffie his hair smoking and burnt. **

**  
"THAT'S PRINCESS YUFFIE KISARAGI! GOT I T MEMORIZED YET?!" Yuffie yelled back jumping to the next building smiling. She had to get her kicks even in a life and death situation. **

**Axel was still tailing them as Reno fished through his pockets. He found a pen and a scrap of paper. He scribbled down the directions to get to a small room above a bar. Reno knew that one of them would have to be the distraction. So, best let her in on his plan. She always knew how to piss people off didn't she. "Hey Yuff. You want him?" If she didn't want to be the distraction he would gladly take him off her hands. However, he sort of knew that Yuffie wouldn't, couldn't resist a chance to further piss off Axel. **

**Yuffie quickly caught up with Reno and took the piece of paper, and quickly slipped her stash into his pocket. "Of course! I'll see ya there!" She took a quick glance at the note and ripped it apart. She didn't want anyone else finding out where the place was. The ninja smiled at Reno and waved seconds before she took off sliding down a drain pipe on one of the buildings. **

**Axel didn't even hesitate; he wanted revenge for his awesome hair. That he took hours taking care of, now most of it was burnt to a crisp. Naturally he kept up with Yuffie hardly tiring at all. **

**_Hmm. Ideas.. Ideas.._. The great ninja pondered as she was running down an alleyway. Then one came to her mind. Overhead where rope lines with flags on them, so she climbed a wall and grabbed one. Off she went down the line using her over sized shirt as a protective glove. "WweeeeeeEE!!" Yuffie cheered, she had lost sight of Axel.**

**She landed safely once the rope ran out, she spun around looking. "Nope. No-one! One for The Great Ninja!" Yuffie whispered.**

**"Wrong." A voice growled behind her.**

**"Ohhh. Shit." The Great Ninja had lost, this time.**

**TEE-HEE.**

**More Trouble.**


	6. Almost Prince Charming

**WHOOT! I'm back from NIU with... 2 Chapters for you guys! Hope you enjoy. We're trying our best to keep it interesting with tons of sexual frustration situations and swearing. I might have to bring Cid in sometime soon. Mmm.. Swearing-Os..**

**Disclaimer: NOTHING BELONGS TO ME... ... ... ... **

**Reno made it safely to the room above the bar. He couldn't help but worry about Yuffie. Yeah, she was quite capable of taking care of herself and fending off danger. However, he wondered if she had bitten off more than she could chew. Reno took this time to slip his white shirt back on. He sighed heavily. **

**"Damn it. I probably should have stayed with her." His mind always tended to win in the battle against his heart. It was his vice. Reno slipped on his over-jacket. If she wasn't here within twenty minutes he was going to go search for her.**

"**Vincent, I can explain." Yuffie stated toward the vampire. Her shirt was pretty much falling off by this time. Vincent's red eyes just stared at Yuffie waiting for the 'explanation.' **

**  
"Promise me you won't kill Reno. Kay?" **

**"..." **

**"Please? It was all an accident. We where just playing around with his Camera phone, I tried to steal it. He tackled me, it took a picture. I freaked out trying to get it. It took more pictures as we struggled to get the phone. **

**Then it sent the pictures, and all hell broke loose. **

**  
After that I wanted to change clothes because I got sweaty from the fighting, didn't have spare clothes, found some and put them on. That's all. I'm still a Virgin. Is everything cool now?" **

**  
During this whole rant The Great Ninja was annoyed by something. But she couldn't quite put her finger on it... Something was wrong.. _Oh what was it.. His CLAW!_ Tons of warning sirens went off in Yuffie's hea d, even Chibi-Yuffie turned into a freaking siren. **

**  
Vincent's claw was on the wrong side, it was on his right hand. Instead of his _left._ **

**  
"We're going back to Seventh Heaven." Was fake Vincent's only reply. **

**  
"If Seventh Heaven is that dark and dreary place where you nobodies hang out then no." **

**  
"Good eye sweetheart." Vincent slowly morphed into Axel. "Sorry honey, but I do have to take you there. By force if needed." Out of thin air appeared his pinwheels. **

**  
"You know what?" Yuffie questioned crossing her arms. **

**  
"What?" **

**  
"I still win!" She yelled as another flash grenade appeared. Hurray for secret stashes around town. Within the flash The ninja was gone and already heading toward the hiding place. **

**  
Once Axel's eyesight returned he looked around at the empty area. "Damn. She got me again. Oh well." With a grin on his face, his hair slowly returning to it's arrest-me-red color as he disappeared into the dark portal he created. **

**  
"The Great Ninja of Wutai has ARRIVED!" Yuffie called out as she entered the hiding place. **

**Reno almost died of relief. He had almost tossed reasoning out the door and attempted to save her. Prince Charming, he was not. He was full of good intentions though... and yet at the same time, not. Reno pulled Yuffie into a huge bear hug. Yuffie gladly hugged him back, while taking back her items that she placed in his pockets before hand. Plus any gil he had on him. She just couldn't help it. **

**"Glad you're back. I was just going to look for you." Why exactly had he doubted that Yuffie was fine? Oh yeah, because he was an idiot who some thought had a 'thing' for the ninja. Well those who thought... they thought right. It was that part of him that had wanted to abandon all logical thinking of personal safety. "So, what now Princess?"**

**"Lets see. Well since we have the 13 guys trailing us now.. We might want to find the others, explain and try not to be skinned by them alive... But I doubt Cloud and Vincent would stop. Soooo... Can you ask your turkey buddies to help us out? And give us somewhere safe to sleep. 'Cause I'm about to fall asleep right now." She complained.**

**Reno knew she had stolen his money. He didn't expect anything different from the ninja. Reno grimaced at the mention of his boss and fellow Turks. "I can call them... I suppose." Reno stared deeply into Yuffie's eyes. "You know that I'm going to be in deep shit with them right?" He sighed and got out his damn phone. **

**"You go get some sleep and I'll call. I'll see if t hey can get here." He was not in the mood to deal with Rufus being infuriated at him. The Great Ninja's seemingly endless energy source was finally gone. It only took being chased around Traverse Town three times to do that. **

**Yuffie rolled her eyes, "Yeah I know you're going to be in deep shit. But they're not going to skin you alive. They still need your ass attached. Unlike Vincent or Cloud would do if I called them." For once The Great Ninja decided not to be a prick and try to steal Reno's phone to annoy Rufus tonight. Reno glared at her playfully and broke into a grin, "I suppose that's true." He watched her fall asleep as he called. So Yuffie quickly flopped on the couch and went straight to sleep, praying that they would not be skinned by anyone.**

**Reno heard the resounding ringing in perfectly, "Come on boss pick up the damn phone." Suddenly a voice filled his ears, "Hello?" He hesitated momentarily, "Uh. Hi boss. It's me." A short pause, "Reno? You have a lot of nerve talking to me. Especially after those..." He did something he normally never would have done... he cut his boss off. **

**"Yeah, I know. Listen we are in deep shit. The Organization 13 are after us and we could really use some reinforcements about now. I will explain later and you can be mad at me all you want, but I would appreciate it if you killed me after you helped me." Reno waited and then a sigh from Rufus, "Alright, we'll be on our way. I expect a full explanation when I get there." **

Reno sighed in relief, "Alright, later boss." He looked over at Yuffie's sleeping form. Things were looking up for them. Yuffie rolled over in her sleep, she made sure to stay slightly awake to hear Reno's conversation with his boss. Well they where still in deep shit, but not as much. Plus they had to explain some stuff... Including the Ninja's current attire. But that would be explained when the time came, now it was nap nap time.

**She rolled over in her sleep slightly snoring and drooling, the ninja couldn't help it. Yuffie was now dead as a log. Reno wondered why exactly he was attracted to Yuffie when he saw how she slept. Then he remembered t he closeness behind the clock. That was why. The towel, another good instance. His phone vibrated in his pocket and disturbed his thoughts. "Hey boss. Alright, see you in five." He felt his eyelids getting heavy. No, he was not going to fall asleep. He shook his head. He couldn't afford sleep right now. **

**With a start Yuffie woke up, no real reason at all. She looked around, Reno was about to nod off in the chair. That wasn't the thing that was bothering her, it was kinda funny watching him doze off. Clunk. It was that weird clunking noise. The great ninja felt compelled to stare at one of the walls, and it responded. **

**  
CRUNCH... RIP. **

**  
A golden hand suddenly appeared in the wall, it moved slightly for a couple of seconds then it retreated creating a hairline crack all along the wall. The Great Ninja's jaw was dropping to the ground by this time, who the hell would do that? Suddenly the wall was promptly ripped away and there stood, not Axel this time, but Vincent. **

**  
Reno was startled from the vicious sound com ing from the wall. Oh, god. It was Axel wasn't it? Nope... far worse. Maybe even The Worst! It was Vincent Freaking Valentine! He stared at Vincent, he wasn't sure how to act in front of the man who was about to kill him. **

**  
"WHYTHE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!" Yuffie yelled at none other but Vincent Valentine. This time he wasn't a fake. By this time the ninja was on her feet moving her arms around while yelling. **

**  
"Crashing through the door would have been OK with me but the fucking wall?! This is the second time that's fucking happened! Why the fuck do you want to rip through a wall. Ripping the door off is better because that could be easily replaced, but the wall? Gawd! Even crashing epically through the window would have been fine with me, but the wall? **

**I was afraid for a second that The Grudge was going to com e and get us or something along those lines. Thankfully you didn't go full fucking chaos on our ass." Panting Yuffie finished her angry rant, today went from bad to… worse then to freaking hell. Reno just continued to stare as he heard Yuffie scold Vincent over the state of the wall. He was so glad that he was not on the end of that. **

**  
"... Done?" Was the gunslinger's only reply to the profanities. **

**  
"No! I'm not fucking done! I've been chased around Traverse Town three fucking times. COUNT IT! THREEEEEE. Now I have to convince you not to stick me in a fucking white room to protect me from Reno and any other guys. Look I'm twenty-one. I can take freaking care of myself. Thank You VERY much. Don't forget I'm not like Lucrecia, hokay? I'm not going to let some crazy bastard do anything to me... NOW. I'm done." With the violent arm swinging her shirt gracefully fell very far to one side, she was tired and didn't even adjust her shirt. **

**Was Yuffie sticking up for him or something? It sounded like it, but maybe Reno's ears were broken. He then stood up. If Valentine was going to kill him... he wanted to at least have a fighting chance. The exact second when Reno rose from his chair Vincent freaking Valentine pulled out his gun and aimed it at the red head. Vinny didn't even bother with words as he glared at Reno. **

**  
"HOLY SHIT VINCENT!" Yuffie screamed. "DON'T FUCKING DO IT." She held her hands out in front of her trying to stop Vincent. **

**  
"Don't do it Vincent…" **

**  
"..." His finger moved slightly. **

**  
**"If you do pull that fucking trigger you have no freaking idea what I might do. I don't even know what the hell I might do." Vincent's eyes turned toward Yuffie and stared. She stared right back without moving a muscle. The tension in the air was so thick you could go swimming in it. That's what Chibi-Yuffie did.

**Reno was literally staring down the barrel of a gun. He didn't often get in situations like this outside of work. Knives, fits, and such yes. Guns... no. If looks could kill, Vincent's would definitely be the one to prove it. He knew saying anything would just cause Vincent's finger to "slip" and he would be gone in a matter of seconds.**

**Yuffie was sticking up for him. This time he was certain. Yuffie's word registered in his mind. Did that mean what he thought it meant? If so... _holy hell_. Unfortunately, his enthusiasm was brought down by the fact that he was still in the cross-hairs of Vincent's gun.**

**"Aww hell." Yuffie groaned, she was looking past Vincent and who else could be there? Axel... Once again, _damned bastard._**

**OOOooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh...**

**OOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.**

**CLICK TEH BUTTON! **


	7. VincentFreakinValentine VS NurseYuffie

**OH SNAP. Back again. Maybe you hate us by now. TOO BAD.**

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHIAH. Nothing. We're crying. **

"Sorry buddy. If you try to kill him I'm going to have to kill you. And the girl naturally. Oh by the way it's Axel. Got it memorized?" Axel was smiling now, he had the upper hand, once again. Plus the ninja couldn't ruin his hair _this_ time.

"Why they hell can't you guys just stay _dead?_ Plus what do you want?" The ninja questioned the man who's currently winning the game.

"Simple Princess. I-"

"Princess Yuffie Kisaragi to you." Yuffie interrupted.

"I.." Axel was now glaring at Yuffie, "need his heart," his eyes flickered over to Reno, "plus the key that you have. On your person Princess."

Reno's eyes drifted over... Axel again? If he wasn't already going to get killed by Valentine... shit. Reno just stayed quiet as Axel talked. Whoa. What had he missed? Wasn't Axel going to kill them? Now he was saving him? Reno's mind was reeling trying to figure this all out. Yuffie was of course suspicious. Why wouldn't she be? Reno himself was highly suspicious of Axel's words. Reno was very observant. It appeared to him that he was the only one who could call Yuffie Princess and get away with it. Verrry interesting.

At Axel's words Reno's eyes got wide. What? If he didn't know better Axel was admitting that he had a thing for Reno. Blindside. He knew that Axel wanted the key, but him? Come on... yes he was sexy, but this was ridiculous!

"You know what Axel?"

"Hmm?"

"I fucking hate you and no. You're not going to turn Reno into a freaking heartless. Got it memorized fuck-tard? Oh, and don't forget this..." Reno watched Axel intently and wondered what the hell a heartless was. He was astounded that Yuffie had tossed the key. The precious key encrusted with jewels. Damn, she tossed it in the drain, if they were going to get it they were going into the sewers.

Yuffie pulled out the much wanted key and held it in front of Axel's face, "FETCH." With superior ninja skills the ninja managed to throw the key, into the sink and the god forbidden drain.

"You freaking bitch!" Axel yelled forgetting about Vincent for a whole second, which Vincent needed. In that Ill-fated second Vincent turned around and shot Axel straight into the chest, several times.

Seriously wounded Axel quickly retreated back into the abyss and left Yuffie and Reno to their fate with Vincent Freakin' Valentine.

Axel got shot Reno felt sharp pains in his chest. Sharp pains…where Axel had been shot. He hissed in pain when he felt them. What the hell was with him and Axel? Reno pushed the pain to the back of his mind and focused at the problem at hand, Vincent.

Yuffie looked over as she heard Reno hiss in pain. Tons of things confused the ninja without worrying her and this really worried her. She calmly walked over to Reno and l ooked at him as Vincent continued to stare at the area where Axel disappeared before turning on Reno and Yuffie.

The gunslinger stared at both of them; Yuffie chewed her lip and stared right back.

"So... What's going to happen to us?" She questioned the now very, very scary vampire.

Reno stared at the spot Axel had occupied moments before and then turned his attention to the source of his pain. He unbuttoned his shirt to see if any marks had been made. Reno sighed, "Shit." There were some angry holes in his chest. They weren't too deep or near any vital organs. Reno moved and some blood started to seep from them. "Damn it. Someone want to tell me why when some red head could-be-twin of mine gets shot I get the same repercussions!" He hissed because he moved wrong. "Ok, if you're not going to tell me that. Tell me if you are going to dissect us nice and slow." Reno's blue eyes met Vincent's.

Yuffie stared at Reno's chest and stated, "Holy fucking shit. I didn't know that this was going to happen if we attacked a nobody!"

Panic time for Yuffie! If Axel came back and tried to do something again, Reno was freaking screwed. Big time. Not to mention Vincent was doing nothing and his trigger finger was still twitchy. Plus it looked like he enjoyed Reno's pain; maybe this would be better than Vincent actually fucking _shooting_ him.

"Shit!" The great ninja was slowly starting to hyperventilate. "Basically-a-heartless-is-someone-who-has-lost-their-heart,-a-nobody-is-that-person's-shell-that-was-left -behind. Or-that's-what-I-think.-Nobodies-want-to-become-somebodies-so.. Yeah-that's-it." Yuffie only needed two breaths for that.

Reno tried to comprehend all of this as he tried not to move. Vincent was a sadistic bastard, he probably was relishing in his pain. Stupid Valentine, let's see if he's so cheery when the shoe is on the other foot. Reno shook his head, "Come again? I only got part of that. Nobody? Heartless? Somebody? What? That doesn't explain why when you shot Axel I got the wounds."

The great ninja was about to reply to the Turkey but Vincent interjected, "We don't that much about Heartless and nobodies yet. But Heartless come from everyone when their heart is lost. Nobodies come from a person that had 'strong' heart, but lost it when the heartless took their heart. We believe. Or we could be completely wrong." He managed to say it slowly so Reno could understand, hopefully.

Yuffie was just downright nervous or something along those lines. Reno was crippled big time, Vincent was going to totally kill them, and then there was Axel and his nobodies buddies.

"Vincent you don't have to talk so slow. I am not dim! Ok, so Axel's the nobody. I'm a heartless? What the hell? So because he gets shot I get the same treatment because I'm the heartless? That sucks! That just freaking sucks ass!"

"Wait. What the hell. Reno can't be a Heartless... Can he?" The ninja looked between The-Might-Be-Heartless Reno and not-Heartles s Vincent. Reno looked over at Yuffie she honestly looked concerned about him. He wanted to say something to her, but it would just be awkward with Valentine lurking around them.

"So you still hell bent on beating the shit out of me Valentine? Or you just going to shoot the shit out of Axel and watch me squirm? The second option is highly sadistic, in my opinion." He smirked at Vincent. Even faced with death Reno wouldn't stop running his mouth. Vincent just looked Reno straight in the eye without even a single emotion showing.

"Both options are very temping but I think you already got both of them already. Oh, and your friends are arriving now. I was going to take Yuffie back, but she might be safer with the Turks. I'll inform the others." Off went the gunslinger through the hole that he conventionally ripped off. Yuffie just stared wondering what the fucking hell just happened.

Reno wasn't sure if he was a Heartless, but he didn't care right now. "You think you're a big smart ass don't you?" Vincent didn' t reply, he did what he always did. He left without answering anyone's burning questions. Reno smiled at the mention of Yuffie staying with him. He wondered how much longer he was going to have to wait for Rufus.

Then he joined Yuffie in watching Vincent disappear again and wondering. Reno wondered where Axel had went, he wondered if he should tell Yuffie, and over all he wondered if he was going to be able to move and not feel some form of searing pain leech through his abdomen.

As the very last piece of Vincent's cloak disappeared the Turks arrived. Just Rufus, Tsneg, Rude and Elena. All of their expressions where about the same when they saw the room. Jaws all the way down on the floor with bug eyes.

Huge hole in one wall, food slightly scattered everywhere, some bullet holes, a bleeding Reno and a more reveling outfit on Yuffie. This made their imaginations s oar to obscene heights. Yuffie groaned.

"Hokay. Before you say anything or think anymore obscene thoughts here's a summary. One, we did not do it. Two, Vincent came after us. Three, some Nobodies want Reno's heart. Four, I ruined my clothes fighting the nobodies. Five, can you treat Reno now?" The ninja was seriously drained, she was about to pass out right about now.

Reno's head slumped forward. He was about to tell Yuffie something and...bam! Moment ruined. Reno stifled a laugh and then, "Shit!" Pain racked his body.

Rufus spoke first, "Well, first off. Tseng will take the North end of town, Rude the East side, Elena the South end, and I will take the West side. Once our sweep is finished we will figure out where to go from there. We feel you are more than capable, but just in case. Here." Rufus tossed Yuffie a hand gun. "I hope you know how to handle that. Oh and here." He handed her a medical kit. "You should be more than capable of treating him. Let's go." The Turks and Rufus also used the rather massive hole in the w all.

Yuffie watched Reno cause pain to run through his body. Then listened to Rufus' plan about sweeping around. _Like they need to do that. Vincent probably all ready did it._ The great ninja knew how to work the gun, but she wasn't too sure about her aim right now. But she was more distracted with the First Aid kit, and the swearing in her head.

Reno smiled at Yuffie and the medical kit. "Wanna play doctor?"

**Does Yuffie even know how to be a doctor? LET'S SEE.**

**Yuffie: Holds up some scary knifes**

**Everyone else: OH SHIT-Os!**


	8. Is it for real?

**DOCTOR YUFFIE TIME!**

**Disclaimer: WHY DON'T WE OWN ANYTHING! CURSES!**

In answer to Reno's question Yuffie slowly turned around with gun in hand and kit. "Sorry but I don't have a sexy nurse's outfit. Nor painkillers in here." She smiled while digging into the med kit.

Reno was glad that they had left. It was time for him to start doing some advancement. He watched her like a lion stalking its prey as she fished through the kit. Reno had that glint in his eye, the one that said I-am-the-master-of-all-things-innuendo. Reno plastered a smirk on his face, "That sucks. Oh well a little pain won't kill me." He caught her gaze and locked eyes with her, "Who said you needed a sexy nurse outfit? I'm kind of liking the my-clothes-can-fall-off-at-anytime-number you happen to be wearing right now." Reno's devious smile played upon his lips all the while.

Yuffie looked up at him with a small grin on her face with cotton-balls in her hand. "You know that I'm the only one that can pull that number off well anyway. Besides I thought you like my short-shorts. If not I can just change into some pants once I get home. Now..." She walked over towards Reno and poked his chest. Reno raised his eyebrows. Retaliation... really? This was going better than he had hoped. "Indeed, you do." A smile split onto his face immediately at the mention of her infamous shorts. "Of course I love those. They show off your great legs after all."

"You can continue your sweet-talk after I start cleaning your wounds, ok? Can you please sit?" Yuffie pulled over a chair towards Reno, "Since I'm going to wrap you up like a mummy after your wounds are clean." The turkey didn't know the great ninja's little plan for him.

Reno stared up at her innocently (or as close as he could muster) as she insinuated that he was sweet-talking her. She was absolutely right of course. "Mmm... but I hate waiting." He cautiously sat up, wincing a little during the process. Reno watched her as she ministered the proper medical care to his wounds. "Was it the Egyptians that promised a dying man seventy two virgins or am I mistaken? If so... I'll pass on the other seventy one." Reno was such the charmer.

Yuffie rolled her eyes smiling, "You have practiced far too long on sweet talking girls. You should be highly ashamed. Also I still think you're a perv." Reno listened as she spoke, "Me... ashamed? Never. I'm not a perv." As she patted his back he felt a small wave of pain seep through his shoulders and down the rest of his back. Reno refused to let her see that he was slightly affected by this. She smiled after tightening the final bandage around his chest.

"There we go. Also I have a question for you." The ninja crawled back in front of Reno to make sure she saw his reaction. "A question for me? How thoughtful. What is it?" His jest was pure sarcasm.

"If you really are a heartless, can you turn into one of those little cute ones? Then I would hug you and try to keep you in my house. Oh wait. Missed one!" Yuffie saw a 'scratch' on Reno's forehead, so she grabbed a band-aid, then his face. She was just mere inches away from his face when she put the20band-aid on his 'scratch.' "There we go! All done!" She sat back down waiting for Reno's answer to her question.

Reno smiled, "Well for one, I don't know if I am indeed a heartless. Two, I have no clue if I can turn into anything. Thirdly, I am not going to turn into one so you can keep me as some domesticated house pet." Again, the close proximity was not good for Reno's self control. "Thank you." He shifted toward her some.

"Hmm... thank you seems awfully trite. Perhaps there is something else I can do to show my appreciation for your care." Reno was going above and beyond his game today. He was going to get what he wanted... even if it killed him. Which it just might.

Yuffie laughed. "Hey I was just wondering. Doesn't hurt to ask." She placed the remaining supplies back into the First-Aid kit. "This is just payback for helping me out earlier. But if you want to show your appreciation you might want to take me out for dinner. Once you're better of course." Just to annoy him further the great ninja patted his head. Reno was having an internal battle of epic proportions. He was struggling with what to do. "Maybe I will take you out to dinner. How about tomorrow at eight? I should be feeling better by then." _A pat on the head? What was this world coming to? _If Reno didn't know better he would think she was taunting him.

"Don't worry I won't seal any of the Turks gil or materia. Promise." Yuffie winked at him then readjusted her clothes because they where bothering her once again. "I don't give a damn if you steal their money. Except for Rufus. You steal from him, and I get in a shit load of trouble." Reno was in agony, pure anguish. Why did she do things like that? Sure, maybe she was just fixing her clothes, but to Reno it was torture.

"Sweet! So then I can steal from Rude, Tsneg and even you? That's awesome! Can't wait!" Yuffie cheered excited. Who knew what they had on their person. Bwhahaha! Yuffie smirked at Reno's comment,

"Damnit! I need to get new clothes. Maybe I can borrow some of Elena's... Do you think she would mind?" Yuffie questioned the Turk-ey. Reno snorted, "You don't need Elena's clothes. The ones you're wearing are perfectly fine. Besides, Elena's clothes are unflattering." He slid closer to her so he was sitting right in front of her. So close that their knees touched. "Are you that self conscious... or do I make you nervous?"

Yuffie smiled, "Reno, I really doubt that you'll be fine by tomorrow but if you really want to you can go head then. Besides I think I might be staying with you guys anyway. Since20I really don't want to go back right now." She was pretty nervous right now, just because the super-sexy hotness was getting closer. Yuffie thought it was hard to breathe when Vincent was very close but this? It was amazing that she didn't pass out yet.

Reno returned the smile, "Well Princess, I heal fast. I will go ahead as long as you promise to wear something just as pleasing as what you are wearing right now." Reno could tell that she was nervous and he could tell that it just might work to his advantage.

"So it's perfectly fine by you for me to start running around in this outfit gathering looks from random men on the street? Or do you like it because you're one of the few men who has seen me wear so much clothing that doesn't do much to cover me up? Maybe I should start wearing baggy clothes more." _Breathing... Hard.. Arg.._

Reno was tempted to shrug, but thought the better of it. "I suppose." He chewed the inside of his lip. It was a horrible habit of his. He smiled widely at her remark; flashing his teeth in the process. "Of course you can't go out like that in public."

The great ninja smirked, "Of course I have some 'pleasing' outfits Tifa bought me that I have never worn. So you get to see them first." She winked. They where really 'pleasing' outfits for men to watch her walk in. Tifa claimed that when Yuffie wore one she was like, 'Super female eye candy for men.' So t he great ninja would have to see how Reno would react.

He moved forward and inched close to her ear. He hoped it was worth the pain that his movement warranted. With Reno's breath hot on her ear he whispered, "I just want to keep you for myself."

Once again distracted Yuffie noticed some blood on his teeth, a bad lip chewing habit maybe? That was quickly erased as he moved in and whispered in her ear. _Oh dear gawd. Stupid hormones! Stupid hormones! Stupid hormones! Stupid hormones! FUCK! _The great ninja was loosing her mind and self control as she swore mentally. Yuffie looked at Reno with a huge grin on her face and she was blushing. Badly.

Reno smiled upon hearing that Yuffie's clothes were apparently, 'pleasing'. He could tell his whispering was having an adverse affect on Yuffie's self control. It was highly amusing. Reno saw some red creep onto her cheeks. Aww, he made her blush. Life was good.

"Silly Reno. You should know better then to say that." She was moving closer to Reno's lips. "'Cause if I see you with another girl I'm going to kill you... You know that right?" Every good deed in turn deserves another. A good quote. As she moved closer, the quote se emed to indeed hold true. All he needed to do was move half an inch. A freaking half an inch! "What other girl?" Reno took no time to think about his answer. Yes he was very much the guy who frequented one night stands and had a different girl every week. However, the words slid off his tongue before his mind could analyze them.

**Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck. WHAT WILL HAPPEH?**

**Good question.**


	9. Music Makes you Loose Control

**Only one thing to say.**

**Disclaimer: We will never own anything... Sadly.**

Only a mere inch away, the worst thing ever happened! Elena ran into the room. Gasping at how close the couple where and how she just arrived at the worst possible time ever. The moment was ruined _again_. Elena showed up. Reno was about ready to take the hand gun and shoot her. He would lie later and claim that he shot her because he thought she was Axel. He would never admit the true reason he shot Elena was because she ruined another almost-moment. Damn. He'd never had to work this hard for a freaking kiss in his entire life!

Yuffie quickly pulled away when Elena came in and did a quick face-palm to hide her blushing face. _Holy shit Yuffie holy shit. That was fucking2 0close. Holy shit. My heart is racing. HOLY SHIT. BREATH GIRL... BREEAAATHHH... Compose yourself. YOU ARE A FREAKING NINJA! THAT JUST LOST CONTROL. OOoh. You won't hear the end of it from Godo if he heard._

Elena was stuttering now, "Um.. I-I'm sorry. D-Did I come at a bad time? Because I could always come back.. But if you're ready we can take you back to headquarters now.."

Yuffie quickly stood up taking the gun with her; she didn't trust Reno one bit. Knowing him he would shoot Elena for ruining his chance at a kiss. "Nope. It's fine. I'm ready to go. How about you Reno?" She looked down at the Turk holding her hand out just to make up for Elena's 'oopsie.'

Reno's fury was building in him. He was just about ready to tell her that yeah she should come back in five years. Yet, his attempt to talk was thwarted by Yuffie beating him to get the first word in. Ugh. He felt like beating his head against the nearest wall.

Luckily for Reno Yuffie had taken the gun before he had used it on Elena. If he had shot his fellow Turk he would surely suffer at the hand of his boss. It was not proper co mpany conduct to shoot your co-workers. As Yuffie held out her hand to assist him he tried to devise another plan on how to fix what Elena might as well have broken into a million bloody pieces. Reno grabbed her hand and proceeded to hoist himself up.

_**Somewhere... **_

"DAMNIT!" A leather gladded hand slammed into the wall causing it to crack a little.

"What's wrong Axel?" Demyx asked, his friend has been very mood since he came back all shot up due to the Vampire.

"RENO! That's what! Since he's my other half I have been feeling his feelings and GOD! He's falling head over heels over his stupid ninja girlfriend!" Fire was coming out of his hands and Demyx was expecting it to burst from his eyes and head. Demyx decided that it was a good time to leave Axel alone before he became deep-fried.

_**Back in Traverse Town**_

Well, Reno believed in second chances. He also believed in fourth and fifth chances as well. So there may be some faint glimmer of hope for him to get what he wanted. Boy did he want it. Yuffie helped Reno hoist himself up then quickly threw the gun to Elena, "I don't think we need that anymore. Besides it belongs to Rufus doesn't20it?"

She turned to Reno and whispered, "Don't you dare shoot Elena and get your ass roasted by Rufus kay? Now," Her voice turned into its normal cheery self. "Do you need some help walking or are you already better?" Her famous grin broke onto her face.

Reno straightened up at her venomous tone. "I got it. Besides, I didn't act on it. It doesn't count if you only think about it." Reno tried to walk a few steps and found that he was perfectly capable so far. "I think I'm good. Thanks."

_I bet Elena is happy as hell that I made sure Reno didn't shoot her brains out right now. She sooo owes me one here. _Yuffie thought and if Elena knew what Yuffie was thinking she would agree.

Reno was grateful that Elena couldn't read minds. If she did he would be on a stretcher right about now. Reno followed behind Elena with Yuffie right beside him. He slightly bumped her hand and soon enough his fingers were intertwined with hers. Sure it wasn't the move he had wanted to make, but it was a start.

Yuffie mentally rolled her eyes. Reno was a stupid ass sometimes, but at least he was funny. She just let him hold her hand since she wanted to be close just in case he decides to fall. The only reaction to him was a smile and holding his hand back as they went down the stairs to meet up with the others.

"Hi Rufus, Tsneg, and Rude!" Yuffie called out waving to the others as they stood around two nice cars. "Damn is this your ride? It's sweet! Oh can we get some takeout on the way home?" The great ninja was hungry again!

Reno took a side-ways glance at Yuffie and found that damn infectious smile. He then returned his focus to Elena and then soon the others crashed into view. Great, more party crashers. Today was getting better and better wasn't it?

Reno caught each of their gazes. Tseng was looking straight ahead like a statue and Rude... well he was wearing his infamous sunglasses. Thusly, he didn't know what Rude was looking at. Reno's eyes fell on both of the cars. Was Rufus actually going20to let them ride in them? Reno felt like he should be paying Rufus just to be looking at them.

Rufus spoke, "Alright, Tseng, Elena and I will be taking the first car. Rude will drive the two of you directly behind us." Tseng quickly slid into the driver's seat and Elena went in back with Rufus.

Rude opened the door for the two of them. "Thanks Rude." Reno let Yuffie get in first.20A gentleman he was not, but he still had some form of manners. He followed Yuffie into the car and smiled. Reno had a plan, a gloriously brilliant plan. As soon as Rude got in he rolled down the back divider, "No, funny stuff Reno." Reno smirked, "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Rude!" Yuffie sang, "If you should be worried about someone it should be me. After all I still very mobile! I even have a pair of your shades now!" She quickly pulled on the pair of Rude's shades that she stole only a minute ago. Then she started to make some funny faces. Reno's head just happen to get stuck in the gutter at Yuffie's words. Bad, bad Reno. Reno just shook his head; what was he going to do with this little klepto? She honestly did look cute in Rude's shades though.

"Hey, hey. Can we get some kind of take out? I want some sushi!" Yuffie was now peering her head out through the divider looking at Rude. Who was looking at the other car. She also looked and saw Rufus discussing something with Elena and Tsneg. Being bored2 0with watching their faces, and Rude not talking she tried to reach the radio, that plan failed. Again. This time it was thanks to Rude gently knocking her hand away. So she sat back down sticking her tongue out at meanie Turk.

Reno knew Rude was going to ignore Yuffie's request for sushi, but then all of a sudden after she tried to put on the radio he pulled the divider all the way up. Bingo! Yatzee! Reno found a spare cloth and taped it over the somewhat see through divider.

"Ah privacy never looked so good." Reno found the radio for the back section of the car and turned it on. "Pick whatever you want. Rude can't hear a thing, and thanks to my brilliant idea...he can't see anything either.

""YES!" Yuffie cheered as she started to rummage around the stations. She didn't ev en bother to process the last sentence in her mind. She was far too distracted in finding a station. "YES! October Fall!" Yuffie started to jam out to song.

Reno watched her and as soon as the music filled the compartment he recognized the song. He too loved the song. "Good choice Princess." This wasn't what he was hoping for. What did he expect? The night frankly hadn't panned out like he had planned either. Yuffie pouted. "If you call me Princess you have to call me by my full name. Princess Yuffie Kisaragi. Or just Yuffie. Your choice!" She chirped.

"So do you think once we're there we can order something? Or at least eat something 'cause I'm hungry again!" She smiled with the shades still on, then another idea popped into her head. The great ninja was going to play as Rude. Or try at least. So she composed herself and tried her best to mold her face to look like Rude's forever plastered on frown. She didn't last long, soon enough she was laughing once again.

Reno tried to answer her question, "I don't know. It really just depends." He found it awfully amusing to watch her imitate Rude. He laughed sending slight pain through him. It was worth it. When she laughed he took time to get c loser to her they again were side by side. She watched Reno slowly move closer. She didn't mind really, she did like it. Only problem was loosing her self-control in the process. Not to mention making sure any of the other Turks don't blast the living shit out of him.

Reno took the liberty of hissing in pain, "Ah. Shit. Stupid wounds." He looked her square in the eye. "You know, maybe if you kissed them better they would heal faster."

"You know if you deflated your ego a bit and turned into a frog I might kiss you. But other than that, good luck!" She purposely leaned in a bit while saying that, and then she returned to her normal seating position as she readjusted her shades. Watching Reno closely. He should2 0be swearing in his head by now. Reno smirked, "Hm... so many choices so little time." His shoulder hit hers and suddenly Reno wondered if Yuffie was going to start her adorable blushing again.

Yuffie rolled her eyes; Reno couldn't see them unless he could somehow see through her new shades. "Choices? Choices of what?" She was now very confused, to make matters worse20Reno was getting closer again. _GOD DAMN YOU HORMONES!_ Yuffie screamed in her mind. Chibi-Yuffie was waving a small but very angry fist. So naturally her face started to heat up, only a little bit.

Reno swiveled his head, "Ego? What ego? Where?" He smiled. Silently he swore. Now he knew how far he could push his luck. "Well, I do have insanely good luck. I got into trouble with you after all." Back it up with charm and maybe the world will give you itself on a silver platter.

"Reno has good luck? So far Turkey, I haven't been seeing that much now. Maybe I'm taking your good luck away. Or lady luck hates you right now." She lowered her shades to make sure Reno caught her wink towards him. She then replaced her shades as another song came on. She mentally did a face palm. _Lips like morphine? Oh no._

Reno looked at the now blushing Yuffie. "Wouldn't you like to know?" He loved what he did to her. Maybe it was a little sadistic on his part, but watching the normally composed ninja utterly confused and off kilter was amusing. Hell what else is better than watching someone composed turn to mush around you?

"Yes, normally I have incredibly good luck. I doubt that you took my good luck away." He caught her wink of course. "Lady Luck is just mad because I'm with you. Yuffie shook her head, oh how silly Reno was. "Didn't you know? Lady Luck is always jealous of others. Because she has to give away all of her luck." She turned to Reno smiling; oh he did know how to confuse her well. But it kept her on her toes.

Maybe she's just in a jealous mood." Reno too heard the song and again and sang in her ear, "I want a girl with lips like morphine."

"I bet with all of the girls that you've been with I bet you already found one with lips with..." She whispered, "Morphine." She even took the time to match it back up with the song.

Reno smiled, "True, very true." He drummed his fingers on his knee to the beat of the song. "Actually...no. Most of them have been one or two night stands. Don't you know20that one night stand lips taste of arsenic and cruel intentions?" Damn her lips, damn her whispering, and damn it that bump in the road!

"I wouldn't know what a one night stand lips taste like, since I don't do thaAAT!" Mid sentence Rude hit the evil pot hole. Maybe Lady Luck was against her now. _DAMN YOU LADY LUCK!_

Rude had hit a rather large pot hole in the road sending Reno flying right on top of Yuffie. God, they certainly had been in this position before. Luckily Reno's phone wasn't up to taking pictures again. This pose was the definition of awkward. Reno had braced himself with his hands on either side of Yuffie's face and his head mere centimeters above her own. It was now or never.

Yuffie was once again on her back once again with Reno on top of her only his face was a lot closer. Plus her shades where now gone. _LADY LUCK I'M GOING TO GET YOU! YOU BITCH!_ Yuffie screamed in her mind before it concentrated on Reno again. She was blushing full time now, only god knows what's going to happen.

**Hormones are gonna kill us all. **

**LAWLZ**


	10. Hurray for Clothing!

**Hopefully we didn't bore you out of your mind yet. **

**Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own anything...**

Reno indeed did have amazing luck. He smirked at her, "Funny how we keep ending up like this." He would not be interrupted this time. This time Reno wasn't going to waste time. Reno kissed Yuffie, and no one interrupted. Lady luck freaking loved him.

Yuffie's mind just went blank. Not even a letter crossed her mind. Blank as blank. Then one thing came back to her mind, that Lady Luck freaking hated her. Right now Yuffie didn't give a shit, she missed Reno and Vincent was not helping with his stupid Emo-ness. The Great Ninja just grabbed Reno's head to make the kiss last longer.

_**Elsewhere... **_

"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF!" Axel screamed. He didn't like the stupid ninja after she ruined his hair and now stupid Reno was overwhelmed with emotions about her that he didn't even want.

"WHY THE HELL DOES MY OTHER HALF HAVE TO BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE! I DON'T WANT TO BE A SOMEBODY ANYMORE!" Axel continued his screaming scaring the shit out of several of Organization 13 members and countless heartless and nobodies.

Sadly Marluxia was passing by Axel's door at this time, which scared the shit out of him even more than everyone else hearing it . He quickly ran away before Axel started to set the whole place on fire.

_**Back in the car..**_

Reno was caught off guard as Yuffie grabbed the back of his head. He smiled into the kiss and placed one hand on the side of Yuffie's face. Frankly he didn't give a shit if Rude could see them right now. Screw the world, he had his happiness. Rude continued to drive along still blissfully unaware of what was currently happening in the backseat of the car. They were almost there. Hopefully soon he would be able to stop having to baby-sit Yuffie. He slightly accelerated.

Yuffie could feel his lips smiling, she smiled also. Any kind of smile was highly infectious for her. Not to mention she felt so damn happy. Happier than she had ever felt before in her hole life. Maybe she just had to show off her slinky dress that Tifa bought her. She suddenly noticed that Rude had suddenly accelerated, it would suck if they where being chased right now and didn't even fucking know it. Oh well.

Yuffie just had to smile even more when 'Ice-Ice Baby' suddenly played on the radio. _Lady Luck must be rigging everything!_ Yuffie thought. Rude would have smiled, but he was Rude and never smiled. He was there. They were at headquarters. He stomped on the breaks and then proceeded to put the car in park at neck breaking speeds.

Reno had just laced his fingers in Yuffie's hair when the breaks hit. Damn it! He was sent sailing off of her. It was his turn to be the one lying flat on his back. Even though the breaking was horrible and abrupt it was still... great. Yuffie was lying on top of him and he had absolutely no complaints. Well except that the abrupt stop had put an end to their kiss. Life was funny that way, giving one second and taking away th e next. For Reno they had somewhat balanced out.

Yuffie was slightly caught off guard when she was suddenly on top of Reno and the car stopped. "Shit!" She hissed knowing that they where already there. So she quickly sat back in the seat dragging Reno up with her so when the door was opened by Rude he only saw them sitting together. Yuffie was currently jamming in her seat to 'Mr. Sandman' to cover up what just happened.

"Aww! The ride is over? That's no fun!" Yuffie complained as she replaced Rude's shades back down over her eyes and crawled out of the car first. Reno was hauled into the seat and tried to look innocent. Which is possibly the hardest thing Reno had to do thus far. Reno just smiled at Rude as he slipped out of the car. "Nice driving buddy." He held his hand out for Yuffie.

Yuffie calmly grabbed it as they walked into the headquarters. Now it was the ninja's turn to wonder, how will Rufus fry Reno's ass? Plus where was she going to sleep tonight, ooh look! Elena. "Hey Elena!" Yuffie quickly ran up to her leaving Reno for now.

"Hi Yuffie. What can I help you with?" Elena questioned the hyperactive ninja in her loose clothing.

"Can you go get some clothing for me from Tifa's place? Oh and tell her that I need the _Kit_ also! She'll know what I mean! Plus don't forget to get me something really yummy to eat!" Yuffie plastered her biggest grin on her face... Well because of what was in 'the Kit.' "Many thanks Elena!" Yuffie waved at Elena as she followed Reno down another hallway. The female Turk shook her head and smiled. Elena headed off towards her car then Seventh Heaven.

Reno had no regard for his own personal safety at this point. If Rufus was going to kill him then he was going to make it over something worth dying for. Damn that kiss fit the bill. Reno followed Rufus and Tseng into headquarters; surprisingly silent all the while.

They made it inside and Rufus had them all sit down in one of the many board rooms that the immensely large building possessed. Reno to ok a seat across from Yuffie and next to Rude. He waited for his boss to tell them what their next move was and also waited for some harsh words to fly his way.

Yuffie was hellishly nervous at this point because well.. RUFUS MIGHT BE FREAKING PISSED OFF AS HELL! An angry Rufus is a hellishly bad Rufus. So she sat in silence looking at Rufus almost all of the time. She didn't want to give Rufus more of a reason to kill Reno at this point. She prayed that Reno might live long enough to see her in that goddamn dress! After all Tifa... spent well over 2,000 gil on it!

Rufus turned toward the group. "I'm going to say all of this once. I will not repeat myself." He glanced at Reno and Yuffie. "The Organization 13 are after you. Now, because I am the kind of person who can overlook things I will help you. However, if I see one more indiscretion I may not be as kind." He looked pointedly at Reno. "You may leave now."

Reno hated that gaze of Rufus's it was so intense and it just made him squirm. He exhaled sharply and then got out of his chair. He really had got out of that pretty unscathed. Relief is an understatement. Reno smiled at Yuffie. Things were looking up.

Yuffie raised an eyebrow at how lucky Reno was right now. _Lady Luck so has everything rigged._ She thought. The great ninja was surprise at how Rufus didn't rip Reno's head off where it stood right now. But hey! They got out of this alive so far! Win right? So Yuffie quickly got up out of the chair then follow Reno out of the room. She so didn't want to be there just in case Rufus decided to go Hulk on their asses.

"So... What now?" The great ninja asked following Reno.

Reno was surprised that Rufus was feeling so kind? Generous? Whatever. Reno led Yuffie down the left corridor and then to an elevator. "You'll see." He pushed the five button on the elevator and waited as they were whisked up to the fifth floor. Reno got out. "This way."

Yuffie tapped her feet to the sound of the elevator music wondering where in hell they where going. "Coommooonnn Reno. Where are we going? Not to mention Elena is getting me some clothes and fooood." _grroowwll _"See! My stomach agrees with me!" She grinned; maybe that would make Reno tell her what was going on.

Reno grabbed Yuffie's hand. "Come on; don't whine... it's unbecoming." Reno laughed, "Well your stomach can wait just a few more minutes. I promise we will both be properly fed. Soon." They passed several doors and stopped at the one marked twenty one. "Here we are." "But Elena might get me sushi! Which is awesome by the way." Yuffie let herself be slightly dragged to room number twenty one. Her favorite number! "Hey!! Is this your room! Sweet! I finally get to see it!"

His smirk said it all. His smirk was like the big flashy signs in Vegas. It screamed this-is-my-room. "Enter." The great ninja was now jumping up and down waiting for the door to open and when she did she quickly ran in to see...

"Holy shit."

Reno slid inside along with Yuffie. He hoped she liked it. Normally it was a great deal more on the messy side, but luckily he had cleaned it before hand. Reno glanced around everything just as he left it. A few magazines strewn about, the bed almost-made, chairs placed in odd positions, and finally the closet left only half way open.

"This one hell of a plain room. I was expecting it to be hellishly messy or something along those lines. Maybe like a few cools things but nothing as plain as this. Oh well." Grrooowwwlll. "Mr. Tummy is hungry. So what do you have? Besides who knows if Elena's gonna get us something, but I know she'll be bringing my clothes anyway." So she sat down wondering what Reno had in his fridge.

Reno inspected the fridge and pulled out some sushi he had picked up yesterday. He had planned on having it for dinner tonight. Fortunate for the pair he had picked up enough for the both of them. "Who needs Elena when I just so happen to be excellently well prepared?"

_**In Seventh Heaven**_

"Hi Elena!" Tifa answered as the Turk entered. "Hi Tifa! Yuffie's going to be staying with us. So she asked me to get her some clothes and a 'Kit?'" Elena answered the friendly barmaid. But as she said the _kit_ her eyes suddenly sparkled up and it seemed like she suddenly absorbed a shit-load of energy.

"Hold on for one minute!" Tifa nearly cheered as she ran up the stairs. _Yuffie's gonna wear the dress! Yuffie's gonna wear the dress! Yuffie's gonna wear the dress! HELL YEAHHHH!! _Mini-Tifa sang as she arrived in Yuffie's room gathering clothing and some other stuff the ninja rarely used. Then she attacked the back of the great ninja's closet. There where two dresses. One pure silver the other red. She carefully pulled out one and folded it, placed it in a white box with string wrapped around it. Tifa's grin was freaking huge as she ran back downstairs with a single large bag.

Elena just raised an eyebrow at Tifa's excitement plus the size of the luggage; god knows what is in it. "Thank you Tifa." Elena said, smiling. Tifa waved back as she left the bar, "Bye Elena! Say Hi to Yuffie for me!" With that Elena headed back to the headquarters not even bothering with Sushi since she didn't know what to get.

_**Back at Headquarters**_

Reno shook his head, "Well normally it's a bit... ok a lot messier than this." Reno moved two of the chairs over so they could sit down and eat. "What are you talking about; I have tons of interesting things in here. I just haven't had a chance to show you any of them." He placed the large boxes full of a variety of sushi down on the table and then wandered over to the fridge. "What do you want to drink?"

Reno didn't much mind playing host; it was just that he wasn't very good at it. He always felt like he was being scrutinized and it was awkward. "I have some beer but if you want soda I've got that too." Reno hoped that Elena would get back soon. He could talk to Yuffie whenever they were in moral danger, or when... that gave him an idea. He turned on the radio and suddenly rock music filled the room completely.

Reno's wish was answered, right after the music started Elena knocked on the door. The great ninja opened it before she was finished knocking, Yuffie was now smiling. "Here you go Yuffie. Tifa says 'Hi.'" Elena stated she didn't want to get in the way of anything now, fearing for her bullet-free body.

"YAY! Thank you Elena! Bye!" Yuffie waved at the now retreating Turk as she closed the door. "Finally CLOTHES! I want some beer, so you can get that all ready while I change." The ninja quickly speed towards the bathroom with her suitcase. Wow, was there a genie that Reno didn't know about? Seriously! Elena stopped the tension and Yuffie got the clothes she wanted. Ah well, all good things must come to an end after all.

Closing the door she opened the white box to find one of her dresses. The arrest-me-red one, Yuffie smiled. _Of course Beefa would send me this one._ Placing the dress carefully back in she attacked her suitcase. Ripping it open the first pieces of clothing she saw was black lingerie.

"Damn you BEEFA." Yuffie hissed praying that she packed some _normal_ clothing in there. She did thankfully. "YAY! CAMMO PJs!" Yuffie cheered. She quickly switched into those hiding the lingerie in the bottom of the suitcase. Dragging the suitcase back outside she threw it into a corner then headed back to the table which had... SUSHI!!

As she got dressed he set up the sushi, he got out sauces, and placed chopsticks down for the both of them. All was set up perfectly, and now he just had to wait for Yuffie to reappear. Soon enough she did, sad to say Yuffie's clothes were not an improvement in Reno's opinion. _Ugh, stupid PJ's._

He watched as she moved her suitcase to the corner. As she made her way to the table to eat that was when it caught Reno's attention. "What's that?" He started laughing and made his way toward her luggage and found it. There was something black conveniently poking out of the extreme bottom of Yuffie's zip-up suitcase.

Reno carefully unzipped her luggage and then pulled out the black garment that had caught his wandering eye. "Are you kidding me?" He smiled a genuine I-freaking-hit-the-jackpot smile. "My, my Yuffie. What are you planning to do with this?" Reno held up the lingerie that Tifa had packed. "Whatever it is... I'm all for it."

**OOOOooooooooooooooh SNAP.**

**Reviews are loved. Duh.**


	11. Smite me! All mighty Smiter!

**Devoted Readers we love you. Please don't lynch us.. Mainly me since I'm lazy on uploading... I am so going to get lynched.  
**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing once more.**

Yuffie spat out the beer that she was just drinking at the very second Reno pulled out the certain piece of clothing. Coughing she was still able to steal them away from the Turkey and yell at him at the same time. "THAT'S NOT MY IDEA. TIFA STUFFED THAT IN THERE WITHOUT TELLING ME. Besides, I didn't even know that she knew my size. That bitch." She was stuffing them back into the suitcase even deeper this time.

"You," She turned on Reno while zipping the suitcase up, "are not to touch this suitcase. Or that box. Kay?" Yuffie knew what she would do to him if he even tried to do so. First his hair would come off then both of his hands and feet.

Reno smiled at Yuffie's response. Although he had tried to keep the clothing out of her clutches he failed. "Well remind me next time to tell Tifa thanks." Reno watched as she buried the lingerie back into the suitcase and did have a moment where he thought about stealing it back and hiding it somewhere safe. He decided against it.

Reno smirked, "What's in the box? A present for me? What is it?" Curiosity killed the cat... good thing Reno wasn't a cat. Normally Reno wasn't consumed by curiosity, but after what he found in Yuffie's suitcase he gave in. He wasn't going to investigate further, he didn't need Yuffie to get pissed and take her frustrations out on his hair.

"Now. Back to the Sushi!" _Grooowwwlll,_ "See! You made Mr. Tummy even hungrier!" The great ninja complained as she returned to the chair and started to devour the sushi. Reno returned back to the table and sat Indian style. "Well tell Mr. Tummy I'm sorry." Reno began to consume the food, but not at the alarming rate Yuffie did. Boy could this girl eat!

"If you would let Mr. Tummy eat the yummah sushiah then Mr. Tummy will forgive you!" The ninja replied in a squeaky voice.

Yuffie was so going to beat the shit out of Tifa later on. But first! _Must. Regain. ENERGY! NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK!_ Yuffie thoughts somewhat evilly. So she just shoveled down a lot of the sushi, enjoying several pieces slowly though. The great ninja could eat a lot and she did, plus she drank about two beers in the process so she was starting to be a little tipsy. But more like sleeeepppyy..

Reno watched as she shoveled the food into her mouth. It was a little like watching a car wreck. He just couldn't tear his eyes away. "Alright then." He had never seen a girl who enjoyed food so much, so fast. Reno finished the last of his second beer and watched as the ninja started to get a little sleepy. Well, at least she couldn't drink him under the table. Reno threw the remains (what little there was) into the trash. It would never keep any longer.

Yawning Yuffie asked Reno the question of all questions! "So what now? Are we going to watch a movie or something?" The great ninja took another sip of her beer; the sushi was pretty damn good in her opinion. Plus she saw a couch, so totally hers. So she went to claim it, instead of taking the normal way _around_ it, she jumped naturally. "Weeee!" Yuffie cheered as she landed on the couch.

Reno saw Yuffie yawn and doubted she would make it through an entire movie. "We could play cards?" He wasn't sure what else to do with her seeing as they were kind of in lock down mode. If they were children they would be "grounded". Reno shook his head as he saw Yuffie body slammed the couch. "I see you're having fun." Reno was walking over toward Yuffie he tripped over his second pair of shoes. _Damnit!_ He landed right on the couch, with his face landing on Yuffie's stomach.

The great ninja wasn't expecting the Turk to trip on a pair of freaking shoes. Oh well, even the best are stupid at times. "Oof.. Reno. I know you like Mr. Tummy a lot... But isn't this a little extreme?" Yuffie joked with Reno; it did feel weird that he face planted in her stomach. She laughed at Reno's expense.

_**In Axel's Room...**_

"Hey Axel?" Demyx called out before entering. He really didn't want to be char-broiled.

"YES?!" Axel growled turning on the poor singer. The room looked like an atom boom fucking exploded in there.

"We found the Key but we still need strong hearts to complete Xmenas' plan. So he's ordering you to find some. PLEASE DON'T ROAST ME!" Demyx was now hiding behind the Key that he found only a few minutes ago. Praying that it would save him from Axel's freaking fire ridden wrath. But none of it came; looking around the key the exploded room was now empty.

"Well... That went pretty good..." Demyx sighed, he hated being the messenger. Thankfully this time he didn't need a damn slip of paper. Oh how everyone made fun of him for that.

_**In Reno's Room... That didn't have a moody Axel...**_

Reno silently cursed his shoes, but in the next instance was thanking them. "Well you know. I can't resist." Reno crawled up so that he was eye to eye with Yuffie. "However, there is something better than getting some one on one with your stomach." He looked pointedly at her.

"You know Reno..." Yuffie grinned, "I can see you being shot for your sweet talk. Dunno why but I can see that happening." She patted his head knowing full well what he was trying to get. Well she was going to make it one hell of a bitch to get.

"But I think Mr. Tummy is getting very jealous of you now." The great ninja joked trying to keep control of her mind. _DAMN YOU FUCKING HORMONES! ALL OF YOU ARE BITCHES! BITCHES YOU HEAR MEEEE!!_

Reno smirked. "Well maybe I would take that bullet. If it was for something..." He looked her dead in the eye. "...or someone important." He made no advancements; he had been the one to initiate things the last time. The ball was in her court. If anything was going to happen it would happen because she wanted it. Reno simply shook off the pat on the head. In his mind such a gesture never happened.

"Really? I never thought that you, Reno. The baseball bat wielding Turk would take a dive for someone." Yuffie moved herself so she was very, very close to Reno's face. "So... Who is this _someone?_" The ninja questioned the baseball bat wielding Turk. She was amused by Reno's sweet talking; she thought it was funny at times and at other times very cute. Or something along those lines.

Reno's nose crinkled at her comment. "One, I do not wield a baseball bat. It's an Electro Mag rod. Two, I would take a dive for a couple people. My boss, out of obligation. Rude, because he's my partner and friend." Again with the closeness. However no action was taken on her part. Were there no feelings to be reciprocated? Reno hesitated for a second on answering. "However, if we're talking about it on a level beside obligation and friendship that person would be..." he paused for a second. "...you."

"Bingo! Correct answer!" Yuffie chirped. This was probably the first time that someone said that they would take a dive for her just because they wanted to. Not because she was a damn princess, oh how she hated that. Before she thought of any of those things she closed the small gap she created earlier.

_**The Huge Ass Meeting Roooooom...**_

Rufus and the other Turks were blissfully unaware of the Organization's plans. "Boss." Rude spoke. "Rufus slightly swiveled his chair in the massive boardroom. "What is it?" Rude slightly hesitated, "Well, we haven't been able to locate the Organization's hideout or get a location on any of their members." Rufus's blond hair hung annoyingly in his eyes, "Alert me when you actually have good news. You know damn well I hate bad news." Rude simply nodded, "Of course." Rude left Rufus alone to tend to his thoughts.

A sudden burst of flames and smoke appeared in the massive boardroom. It was AXEL! Rufus was caught off guard by the grand fiery entrance.

"Hi Rufus!" He called out waving to the blond, "You know I'm looking for someone. A person that looks pretty much like me with red hair. Wait! I think I know where he is. Knowing me.. I would pick room twenty-one wouldn't I? Hmm. Now which floor? Four or Five?" Axel was acting like he knew Rufus for a billion years, more like a minute.

Rufus's jaw muscles clenched at Axel's formality. Rufus lifted himself out of his seat and stood facing Axel. Axel was either psychic or just fantastic at guessing. Rufus walked over to the end of the board table. If things escalated with Axel he need only press the emergency button and the room would be filled with Turks. Rufus had no intention of answering any of his questions. Rufus simply glared at Axel in response.

"Aww! Why so cold? Mr. Head of Turkies?" Axel pouted, "Maybe I just have to warm you up!" Within a second he sent both of his fire pinwheels at Rufus, just missing both sides of his face by a mere inch. The pinwheels disappeared and re-appeared in his hands spinning.

"So.. Rufus. My name is Axel and I want Reno and his ninja girlfriend. Princess Yuffie Kisaragi I believe. Can you please hand them over nicely or do I have to beat the shit out of everyone here?" The nobody was ready to go and beat the shit out of people since he was still very moody. VERY VERY MOODY.

Rufus didn't even flinch at Axel's attack. "Well... Axel that is something I can't do. However, if you wish to find them I bid you good luck. Now as you said fourth floor or fifth. You might as well flip a coin. You will go assistance on my part." Rufus, cool calm collected as always. Rufus's hand hovered over where his gun lie. At the next sign of hostility Rufus would quickly be able t o pull it out from its confines. he had slid it in the waist of his pants; secured by his belt. Rufus was always prepared. "Now, if you wouldn't mind leaving my boardroom."

"Now, now Blondie. I highly suggest you don't try and shoot me. Because it might hurt your little red-headed turkey. Besides I just can't leave you here to set off all of the alarms now can I?" Axel was having one hell of a time. He was so glad that Xemans let him party around in the Turk's Headquarters. Axel was planning something really fun once he decided what to do with Rufus.

_Room Twenty-One..._

Reno was glad that he had actually been patient. Patience wasn't exactly his virtue. It was worth it to have Yuffie kiss him of her own accord though. Did he care that she was a princess? No, because she sure as hell didn't act like one. Reno gave a damn that she was funny and cute. Reno ran his fingers through her hair. All was well.

Well... not exactly.

_**Meeting Room**_

Rufus sneered at Axel. How could he have known that he intended to use his gun? What was he supposed to do? Reno, (no matter how laid back and unorthodox) was one of his best. He couldn't allow his actions to affect Reno. Reno would be quite capable with dealing with Axel. "Fine. You know what? I'll tell you where they are. They're on the fifth floor. That should be sufficient enough." Rufus glared at Axel as he waited for a response.

"Why thank you Blondie! I'll make sure to not kill you know. Anyway onto finding my other half. Good-night!" Axel sang then quickly attacked Rufus. He didn't want Rufus to start th e alarm, so knocking him out would be perfectly fine with Axel. Jumping over the hellishly long meeting room table he reached out to punch the lights out of Rufus. Something he always wanted to do ever since Axel first saw Rufus. About five minutes ago.

Rufus hadn't expected to have been knocked out. Before he could voice his protest he felt Axel's fist collide with his face. Soon enough the world became foggy and dim. Soon enough darkness filled his view. He was out like a light.

_**Lucky Blackjack number!**_

What had really surprise Yuffie was the minor fact that he was patient. Reno + Patience Never happens. _Electro Mag Rod my ass. Super shock baseball bat is a better title_. She thought, but that didn't last long. She was more distracted with Reno, very, very distracted.

Reno slid one hand to rest on her hip. Right near the waistband of her PJ's. So far so good. Patience is a virtue that should only be practiced when waiting for pizza and a really gorgeous date. For Yuffie he made an exception and decided it was worth waiting for kisses (sometimes), as well. Reno slid one finger under the waistband and hoped to whatever higher being that he wouldn't get killed.

Suddenly an image popped into Yuffie's head, Reno being smote by some higher being. Or Aerith... which is even funnier. Normally she would have wondered why in hell she started to think about that, but she didn't really care now. She should be concerned about a certain red headed nobody coming up the elevator right now, after he dragged Rufus into a broom closet. Oh Axel was about to destroy the speakers blaring out that stupid elevator music.

Naturally Yuffie didn't know about that, but she knew that Reno's hand was already at her waist. Reno too was blissfully unaware of Axel's current location. His current, close, location. Reno was glad that he wasn't being smited at the minute. He hadn't done anything warranting some smiting anyway. It wasn't like he stood outside in the rain yelling at the sky, "SMITE ME ALMIGHTY SMITER!" That was something a real idiot would do.

A great plan appeared in Yuffie's mind, great for her, bad for Reno. Thinking fast she grabbed one of the couch pillows behind her head and lightly whacked Reno. While distracted she crawled out from under him and ran behind the couch cheering, "Com'on RENO! Catch me if you can!"

Reno was about to take things a bit farther when Yuffie had grabbed the pillow to viciously beat him with. He was dumbfounded. Reno watched as she disappeared behind the couch. "Get back here. I'm going to get you for that!" The great ninja teased waving her ass at the slightly stunned Turk. Afterwards she bolted down the hallway.

Reno about keeled over as Yuffie waved her ass at him. Ugh! Torture, pure unadulterated torture. SADISTIC, EVIL, VILE, DEMONIC, TEASE! Doing things like that to Reno when his self-control was at its breaking limits was a horrid thing to do.

Reno bolted right behind her and soon caught up to her. He grabbed her around the waist and threw her over his shoulder. "You're going to be severely punished. Don't you dare think that your cute little tactics are going to work this time." Reno brought her back to the room.

Yuffie tried her best to avoid Reno in the rather small apartment, but that didn't work out well. Instead she was flung over his shoulder and threatened with 'punishment.' The Great Ninja of Wutai begged to differ. She was laughing by now and struggling, which didn't get her far.

"I beg to differ that my cute little tactics are _going_ to work this time!" Yuffie managed to say between laughs. Her last 'cute' little tactic was... Tickling RENO! Thankfully earlier in the week she managed to find out that Reno was indeed ticklish, plus where he was ticklish. "FEAR THE WHITE ROSE!!" Yuffie cheered as she tickled Reno.

Reno listened to Yuffie's intense laughter. Reno remained unharmed as she struggled to get out of his clutches. "No, they aren't." Reno didn't expect her to tickle him. So far she hadn't hit his one ticklish spot. Damn ticklish-ness! If he could turn it off he would have. Then all of a sudden she hit it. She hit the one spot on his entire being that he was ticklish.

Yuffie felt so freaking proud that she managed to make Reno start laughing uncontrollably. It was like a hellishly good dream or some super ninja powers that she just gained in about a second. Sadly that disappeared quickly.

**Aww. No luck for Reno today. NWYAYYAYAAHAHA **


	12. Burn baby burn! Elevator inferno!

**ON WARD WITH THE BURNING ELEVATOR!**

**2nd chap in one day. ;D**

**Disclaimer: Sorry still don't own anything.**

GRAND ENTRANCE NUMBER ONE! AXEL! Blasting the door to the other side of the room on fire. Followed by a leather gladded Reno double sauntering in looking at the couple. Sadly no one really noticed the slightly smoking elevator with missing speakers now. Plus the stupid fire alarms where not turning on, even with the fiery door and smoldering elevator. All the noise made you wonder if there was even another freaking Turk up here! Or even security cameras with security guards watching.

"Reno.." Yuffie whispered still on his shoulder, "Your security freakin' sucks."

Reno abruptly stopped laughing. Great, Axel again. Reno was getting really pissed off. One, no one was coming to assist them. Two, the hallway was getting increasingly hot. Reno wanted to kick every single one of the rest of the Turk's asses. So far it seemed they were on their own against Axel Pyro Wonder!

Reno looked over to Yuffie, "You think?" Right now he needed a plan.

Yuffie didn't have a plan. She looked down at Reno then back at Axel.

"Umm. Axel.. Can you just go back. To being dead from saving Sora and all? Pleeaassse?" She did the best puppy dog look she could muster. Axel didn't budge, nor did his smirk.

"Sorry Princess-"

"YUFFIE KISARAGI!" She interjected.

"I do have the key. I do need your hearts also." Axel continued like he wasn't rudely interrupted. "So you can come nicely or do I have to drag both of you there?"

Reno didn't exactly have a plan either. Seeing as Yuffie's puppy dog eyes failed miserably. "What do you plan on doing with our hearts once you acquire them?" He smirked. "I mean, I don't sign a contract before knowing what I'm signing." Reno stated matter-of-factly. "Once you tell me I can tell you whether or not I'm willing to come without a fight." Hell maybe now they could get some answers.

Axel just laughed, "Sorry, but I can't tell you that. You'll have to come and see. But either way, you're coming quietly.." Flames appeared around his hands and nobodies by his feet. "Or I will drag both of you there."

Yuffie didn't like the looks of this. One, she didn't have a weapon.. Two, hurting Axel hurts Reno. Three, Yuffie was still on Reno's shoulder. Four... _THIS IS JUST FREAKING RIGGED!_ Yuffie screamed in her mind.

"Hey Reno.. I think we should book out of here." The great ninja whispered. Retreat and fight another day. Hopefully.

Reno tried to think quickly. He remembered that kicking Axel's ass was just about as good as kicking himself in the ass. "Hold on a minute. How about a deal? I give you me, and you let Yuffie here go? I won't fight you." Reno set Yuffie down and eyed Axel warily. "We got a deal?" He knew that he wouldn't be able to get a good enough plan together, but perhaps Yuffie might. Besides, when all else fails she had Strife, Valentine, Tifa, and them on her side.

"Sorry buddy. But that's a deal that I can't make." Axel raised his fiery hands as if he was really saying sorry. He wasn't. Instead the nobodies lunged for Reno and Yuffie.

Thankfully Reno set her down in time to kick several nobodies, punch a few more then try to pry off the rest on her. Reno didn't have it easy either. Both of them had about seven to fend off.

"YOU, " Punch, "FUCKING" Kick "BASTARD!" The great ninja yelled as she tried to fight off the nobodies. Sadly without her weapon it made it harder to kill them.

Reno wasn't naive enough to believe that Axel would actually consider that proposal. It simply gave him enough time to slip the EMR out of his pocket. "Sorry to hear that." Reno made pretty quick work of the first three. However four of them rushed him at once. He punched, kicked and finally defeated all three of them. As he saw Yuffie struggle with the rest of the nobodies he rushed over.

Reno, knight in shinning armor. Not your everyday occurrence. He had one of the nobodies clamp their mouth down on his EMR. God these things were stupid. Reno hit the switch and jolted the creature to death.

Reno wasn't a knight in shinning armor yet, almost though. Axel quickly sent more nobodies after Reno to deter him longer. Yuffie on the other hand, was having on hell of a fight. She was loosing. One grabbed her back, she grabbed it flung it over her head and punt ed it into the wall.

Huff... Only... Huff... Four... More. I can do this! Yuffie thought. She couldn't as quickly as she thought this, she went down. All four nobodies simultaneously attacked her, rather pushed her into a black portal.

"HOLY SHIIII-" The great ninja was cut off when it closed behind her. Axel stood there grinning; now his only problem was the other him.

Reno swore as more nobodies attacked him. "Shit." Punch, kick, and jolt. He looked over to Yuffie. She was doing ok, but she seriously needed her weapon. Reno electrocuted one more nobody as he saw the black portal. "Oh, shit. No!"

Reno dove to catch Yuffie, "Yuffie!" It was too late she was already swallowed up by the darkness and taken to who knows where. He was pissed to say the least. Enraged wouldn't even encompass all the rage that was building in Reno right now.

The rest of the nobodies had disappeared. It was just Reno vs. Axel.

Axel opened his arms out wide and smirked. "Aww. Looks like your girlfriend lost. Now... are you going to come quietly so you will be able to see her again before I take your heart? Or no?" Flaming pinwheels appeared, Axel was ready to fight.

"-IIIT!" Yuffie screamed as she fell into the Black portal. She didn't hit anything but kind of... Floated? She looked around confused, floating in the dark abyss.

"Holy shit... this is some weird stuff. Now the question is... what's going to happen now?" She whispered looking around. But that didn't last long as something covered her eyes and knocked her out.

Reno smirked, "Boy, you're pretty freaking dim if you think I'm going to come quietly. You obviously don't know a damn thing about me." Reno's grip tightened around his EMR and waited for Axel to make the first move. Reno hoped that Yuffie was alright. He had no clue where or what condition she was in right at this moment.

Axel smiled; he knew that Reno was going to say something along those lines. Now the problem was... How to beat the shit out of him. With a quick flick of two wrists Axel sent both of his flaming pinwheels at Reno with a couple of fire bursts after the m.

Reno saw and felt the fiery weapons approach him. Reno was very fortunate that he was flexible enough to dodge both of them. He however just missed the fire bursts. His suit wasn't as lucky. The bottom of the suit caught fire and he immediately beat at the flames in attempts to put them out. He was successful. "Not bad."

Axel cracked his neck, "Just warming up. How about we turn it up a notch?" More flames appeared in Axel's hands and all around the room. Oh how Axel was having so much fun. He lunged at Reno trying his best to land some good hits.

Yuffie wasn't, she was carelessly flung into a cell which woke her up. She first looked around dazed then slowly stood up. Carefully she walked over to the window and swore.

"Well that's fucking great. I'm stuck in a fucking floating castle. Freaking bullshit." The great ninja growled.

Reno narrowed his eyes at his nobody and took this opportunity to use his EMR. The extreme heat was getting to him a little. Not enough to make him sweat though. As Axel lunged at him he back bended out of the way of his fiery fists

"You might want to work on your aim." Reno took the liberty to kick Axel's feet out from underneath him. As Axel was about to hit the ground Reno slammed his EMR dead center in Axel's stomach. "I however, have impeccable aim."

"Oh really now?" Axel questioned as h e set more of Reno's clothing on fire. Axel threw his pinwheels again, with fists following them aiming for Reno's chest. Reno kept a tight grip on his weapon as he shirked out his over jacket. Reno let out a small grimace where hit by Axel's fists.

Then, Demyx joined the fun as he walked out of a black portal that was located on a ceiling.

"Demyx has ARRIVED! Oh by the way, Axel, Saïx took care of Yuffie. So your ninja problem is solved! Now your turkey problem needs a little help." Demyx cheered as he landed on the floor.

He skid back and landed on his feet. "What is it with everyone and thinking that they can call me poultry, and get away with it?" Reno looked Demyx over, sizing the nobody up. His ears picked up on what he said about Yuffie. What did he mean by s solved? Reno grit his teeth, "I'm not one of Rufus's best for nothing. So why don't you try harder?"

"Blondie's best? Let see how that works out!" Demyx cheered, as he sent several water based attacks at Reno. Which where followed by Axel's fire pinwheels and his leather gladden fist. Demyx and Axel both sped up their attacks, until they where just a blur.

"HEY! LET ME OUT!" Yuffie screamed as she kicked the bars, they did move but not enough for her to kick the out of the wall.

"Com'on," Kick, "You" kick, "stupid" kick, "DOOR!" kick.

"You know you shouldn't do that." Saïx drawled as he entered Yuffie's vision.

"Why not?" Yuffie questioned the blue haired man.

"Because I would have to.. Hurt you." He smiled. Sadistic bastard.

"Whatever. But I would like to have a change of clothes. Ya know." She retorted while pointing to her PJs.

"That is not my problem." Saïx was very tired of being forced to baby sit the stupid ninja.

"So. What's up with the key you guys went through the sewers to hunt down? Not to mention bothering keeping me and Reno alive." Yuffie questioned the nobody trying to gather some information

"Well. You're one hell of a talker." Saïx drawled, this job sucks.

"And you're not. Com'on teeelll meee.. I'll shut up afterwards!" Yuffie chirped. Com'on annoyance! You can win!

"No. Talk all of you want, I won't tell you." The blue haired main drawled he started to walk away.

"MEANIE!" The great ninja complained as Saïx walked away.

Reno attempted to dodge the attacks he was barraged with. He for the most part was successful, but keeping their attacks at bay was strenuous work. He bashed Demyx in the head with the end of the EMR and in the process was caught by one of Axel's pinwheels. It was a minor scratch, but now his shirt lacked an arm. "Bitch." Reno dealt a kick to Axel's back. How much longer was this going to last?

All of Reno's attacks didn't faze the two nobodies but it was starting to get boring for both of them. So they ramped up their attacks, added nobodies and didn't even pause to prepare for the next attack. Axel continued to land as many attacks as possible.

Reno couldn't get why his attacks no longer were fazing them. Soon enough it didn't matter what he thought. Blood spilled from his mouth and the scratches were soon coating his upper body. Shirt? What shirt? Reno's shirt was in ruins and his pants were now shorts. He wouldn't give up, not as long as he remained conscious. Remaining conscious was getting increasingly harder. "That all?" He was a glutton for punishment.

"This is all." Axel drawled as he landed the final punch in Reno's face. Knocking him finally out.

"Nice hit Axel."

"Thank you Demyx. Go and take him back, if you want you can throw him in with Yuffie." Axel commanded as he started to look around the apartment.

"Right-o!" Demyx sang, god his singing sucked, just like dragging Reno into the dark portal.

Reno couldn't duck out of the last punch, and damn did he hate it when the bad guys won. The darkness fogged over his vision. He hung there limply and lifelessly as he was carried away by the Organization members. Well at least hopefully he would get to see Yuffie again.

"Heeeyyy Yuffie!" Demyx called out.

"Oh dear gawd Demyx get some voice lessons." Yuffie groaned as she sat on the window sill.

"Got a delivery for you!" He was now in Yuffie's vision dragging Reno along.

"HOLY SHIT!" The great ninja was about to leap from the window sill but Demyx stopped her.

"Don't get up, gotta throw him in first." Which is just what Demyx did, and then Yuffie ran over looking at his battle wounds.

"Stupid ass. Had to get your ass handed to you. Gawd." Yuffie groaned, now there was almost no chance in hell that they would escape now.

"Hmm? What's this?" Axel questioned as he looked through Yuffie's suitcase. It was the black lingerie Tifa had stuffed in there.

"Eh. Not interesting." He finally decided as he threw it back in the suitcase, now his eyes where drawn to the white box.

"Ooh. Now what's in there?" He laughed grabbing it, afterwards he walked into the black portal heading straight to where Reno and Yuffie where located. Smiling he waltz down the hall and looked at the couple while holding something.

Reno landed with a gigantic thud against the cold floor. That is one hell of a way to wake up. He groaned at the newfound presence of light, "Well, when you're protecting a Princess or a lady you're suppose to fight till you can't fight any more. Mind telling me where I can find said lady?" Despite his roughly handled and beaten half-to-death exterior he was still able to crack a joke.

"Ha ha ha. Very funny Reno. You know if you can't walk I'm gonna have to drag you while we bust out of here. So much for being the knight in shining armor turkey." Yuffie responded to his joke, with a smile.

Reno gave her a smile, a odd one considering the blood dripping from one side of his mouth. "Oh, don't worry Princess I can walk... and more." He smirked at her and raised his eyebrows. "Ok, well if you haven't pictured me as your knight in shining armor at least admit that you've thought about me naked." His smirk widened considerably.

Yuffie rolled her eyes at Reno's blood dripping mouth. "I really doubt that you can do much. Besides limping around." She smirked. Go Reno on trying to suggest stuff while wounded and in a near death situation. Yuffie pretty much choked on air when he said that line, Holy shit! What is up with his mind? This is not the time for highly suggestive flirting or whatever the hell it's called.

**Mmm. Flirting in a near death situation.**


	13. Ligerie Party

**HA YOU CAN'T LYNCH ME NAOWS! 3 chapters in a row, in a day! HAHAHA! VICTORY IS MINE!**

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN LIGERIE... Or this... **

Reno slowly swiveled his head and found Axel holding Yuffie's lingerie, "Yo, hands off." Axel had done just that. Reno watched as he grabbed the white box. He too wondered exactly what was in the package but refrained from further speaking.

Yuffie looked at Axel and her jaw just about dropped. She was so beating the shit out of Tifa, no matter who the hell stood in her way. Tifa's stupid idea with the lingerie was so getting her killed. Then there was the box, oh dear god the box. The box with the arrest-me-red dress, that Yuffie bought with Tifa's help in choosing it.

"So Princess. What's up with this?" He held up the lingerie, "And this?" the white box. He was only met with a cold glare from the great ninja.

Reno slowly moved so he was sitting. "I said hands off you sick sadistic bastard!" He was in no mood for Axel right now. Reno watched as Yuffie glared at him. His sentiments exactly.

"Now, now, now. It's not nice to be yelling at me when I haven't really done anything. Just got her some clothing and all." Axel smirked, oh how he loved to torment Reno. Pretty entertaining watching a guy that just got his ass owned swearing at him from the ground with his head in the ninja's lap.

"Now since I don't use these things I might as well give them back." He then threw the box and the black lingerie to the side of Yuffie. Reno sneered at Axel, "Whatever, you're still an asshole." He waved and sauntered off, time to report to the big guy.

Reno smiled, "What did I tell you? I'm a fast healer. I just forgot to tell you that I'm also magical." He winked at her. "Check for yourself. The bullet holes are gone." Reno found it odd that they trusted the two of them in the same room. "You know, we should get locked up together more often." Reno looked pensively into nothingness. "Do you think they'll lend me a set of handcuffs?"

Yuffie sighed, Reno was... already better. How the hell he does that, she might never know. She rolled her eyes, shoved Reno off her lap and stood up dusting her butt off.

Reno himself didn't know how he healed so rapidly. Must be something the doctors gave him after his primary health inspection. Reno expected Yuffie to shove him off of her. He didn't blame her.

He paid little to no attention to Axel after he tossed Yuffie her clothes. "Private strip show? I take it back... Axel is fantastic."

"You know, we shouldn't be locked up together at all, knowing what you might do." She chirped while walking towards the window. "I really doubt the nobodies have furry handcuffs that you so desire." She placed both hands on her hips, turned to face Reno with a smirk on her face.

"Well, if you know what I might do... why don't you stop it Princess?" He walked close to her. He snapped his fingers, "Rats, but hey... I didn't say they had to be furry." Reno kept the smile plastered on his face.

"Hmm... maybe." Yuffie teased Reno, with that she turned around and slowly lifted her shirt up. But only a few inches before lowering it back down and winked at Reno. "Sorry but show's over."

Reno watched as Yuffie began to lift her shirt. _Ok... what's the catch? _"Well then I w ant a refund." He pretended to whine like a four year old.

"In reality I have no idea what you might do. Soo... I can't really stop it, right? Unless I just knock you out. That would solve everything right?" Yuffie joked. She sat down on the sill and watched him.

"But regular handcuffs are pretty boring in my opinion!" The great ninja whined, it was pretty fun being a tease, "Sorry, no refunds. Looks like you have to try again." She shrugged smiling at Reno.

"I suppose their boring, but maybe the interesting thing is what you do with them." More innuendos were flying out of his mouth. Now if only she would just seem to play along.

Yuffie winked, jumped off the sill and walked over to the white box and her black lingerie. Now she was wondering what to do with her lingerie, so instead she opened the box pulled out the dress, placed the lingerie on the bottom making sure that none of it stuck out, and replaced the dress.

Reno's eyes stalked her in as she moved. Like a lion watching an antelope. He got really close to her; and leaned one arm on the bars. "Well if you did... would you stop me?" His intense gaze was piercing.

"Hmm." Yuffie raised her head to look at Reno directly in the eyes, she smirked. "What would you do with handcuffs besides arresting people? Stop you from what? Spewing out sweet-talk?" She raised one foot to rest on the ledge and rested her arm on her knee. She casually blinked her eyes at Reno.

"Oh... I don't know. Chain you up and never let you go. No, you would never stop me from sweet talking... because you absolutely love it." Reno placed one hand right beside her head. "Just admit it. You can't help but think explicit thoughts about me."

"Chain me up and never let me go? Ooh. You don't do that to a Princess. You would have so many assassins after you. Hmm..."

"Not, if said Princess willingly lets me chain her up." He caught her gaze again.

"A wild Princess letting someone chain her up? I doubt that's going to happen." Yuffie smirked.

"Ok, so you won't let me chain you up. What will you let me do to you?" He found it rather difficult not to smile.

"Hmm... What I will let you do to me.. Well first of all you owe me dinner. After that well, I guess you will have to just wing it." She started to wrap his ponytail around her finger.

Yuffie looked away with a thoughtful expression on her face, "You're sweet talking. Maybe I do like it, maybe I don't. Now about the explicit thoughts.. Think you're wrong there. But what about your thoughts?" She carefully looked back at Reno with a seductive glance.

"Oh, I know that you like it. I can tell by your constant blushing." Reno traced a line down her left cheek. "Oh, I bet you had absolutely no explicit thoughts when I showed up in that towel." He smirked, "My thoughts? Well, I'm not a saint... and I don't intend to be one. If that gives you any inclination."

She grinned at Reno's words he had hit the nail, "When you showed up in that towel I thought that one.. You where drunk. Or two, a heartless just chased you out of the shower." Oh how Yuffie loved to joke around with Reno.

"Well, I was perfectly sober, and there were absolutely no heartless. So you're going to have to find a better excuse, unless you wish to inform me of the truth." Reno knew Yuffie was only kidding, but honestly he did want the truth out of her.

"Reno sober? That doesn't happen a lot, plus no heartless? Well then. Since now I'm out of excuses I guess I was thinking some dirty thoughts." Yuffie winked, she loved to play this game.

Yuffie started to play with his hair now, "Reno's not a saint, and well that's surprising news. What is that Reno is giving away some inclinations about something? I wonder what this something is."

"I know, alert the masses." Reno kind of liked the way Yuffie was playing with his hair. "Well, those inclinations are primarily about you in next to nothing and well... I doubt you're interested in the rest. Seeing as you don't posses similar thoughts."

"That's the first time I've heard of anyone saying outright that they had explicit thoughts about me." Unraveling her hand from his hair she gently ran her hand down his jaw line. "Now me not possessing similar thoughts, who ever in hell said that?"

"I suppose we will have to see. Seeing as I'm infamous for being lucky." He gave her a sly wink. "No, it doesn't happen a lot. Re ally? Hm... might you tell me what you were thinking?" Reno closed his eyes as she wrapped her hand around his ponytail.

He quickly opened his eyes. Reno knew exactly where his mind was heading. "Well, then I guess I'm your first." His smile was devious to say the least. Her hand on his jaw was making it harder for him to get his mind out of the gutter. "I'm not sure. It certainly wasn't me."

"You're the first but probably not the last. What I was thinking. Hmm..." Yuffie closed her eyes and acted like she was thinking back, removing her hand from Reno's jaw.

"Hmm. W hat was I thinking when you came running out stark naked with just a towel on.. Well my first thought might have been, 'Damn. That's hot. He must be really trying to catch my attention with that move. He sure as hell did.' Other than that maybe some R rated stuff that I don't feel like sharing." Yuffie opened her eyes looking at Reno with a smirk on her face.

"Well... I thought the same thing when you came out, but not as PG though. Something along the lines of insufferable tease, and I would give my right arm to be the towel. I will keep the really bad stuff to myself though." Reno hated that she took her hand away. "I'll share if you do."

"When I came out I was slightly afraid that you would rip the towel off. Not give your right arm to be the towel. No, I'm not sharing my thoughts. I would rather wonder what you're thinking and vise versa. So what are we going to do now?" Yuffie questioned Reno giving him a smooth glance.

Reno shook his head, "Well I was also thinking that. Why not? Sharing is caring after all. If you don't feel like sharing we could just screw like rabbits. I mean we are in immediate danger and close to death." Reno gave her the most charming smile he could muster.

Yuffie promptly chocked on air, then turned a bright red. No one has ever just waltzed right up to her and stated anything along those lines. Let alone wanting to do it here where any one of the nobodies can just waltz right in and see them.

"Well Reno I dunno about that." She leaned up against the window's bars, "Since anyone can waltz right down the hall and interrupt our fun. I would totally be all for it if we where back in your apartment. How about I show off my dress instead…or would you prefer the lingerie?"

Reno was enjoying himself fully. Wow, Yuffie looked about stop sign red. "That's true I suppose. I'll hold you to that... when we make it out of here." Reno sat against the wall and looked up at the ceiling. "How about both?" Reno ran his fingers through his hair. They needed a plan. Not just any plan... a good plan.

"How about both when you come up with a good plan to get us out of here." Yuffie smirked as she thought about a good plan. "Hey Reno… do you think that I should try and bait someone in here? Or is that a stupid idea?" She was just throwing ideas around now. Before they lost their hearts to whatever plan Xemans had.

"I think that's an excellent idea!" Reno almost had a plan put together. Reno tried to figure out if he could figure out a way for them to get out of here. "Hey if all else fails... we could cal l Strife or something." Reno flipped his phone open and made sure he got reception. It wasn't the best, but at least it was something. He turned his phone off to conserve the battery. "So... how exactly are you going to bait someone in here?"

"I think it might be smarter to call Sora. Since he, after all, is the badass keyblade master. But I think Chocobo head would work well too or Mr. Vampy-Vamp." Yuffie commented. Now about baiting she held up the white box and smiled. "How else would a girl bait someone? I mean if you want me to of course."

"Well give me Sora's number and I'll get right on calling them." Reno flipped open his phone and pressed the power button. Reno looked at the box questioningly. "Whatever you want is fine, but save the lingerie for me . Thanks." Reno waited for Yuffie to start putting the plan into action.

**Running around in Lingerie? That would be fun.**


	14. Scout's Honor? What's that?

**More chapters in one day. .O Number 4 you guys.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything.**

"Fine, fine fine. Thing is I don't have Sora's number, but Cloud might be able to bring him with. As backup of course. Hokay so no lingerie then." Yuffie smiled at Reno as he tried to call backup. She walked behind him and pulled out the dress, "Reno, don't look or no lingerie for you later." The great ninja warned as she started to put the dress on.

Reno quickly dialed Clouds number and listened to the constant ringing and then. "Hey Cloud it's Reno. I know you're mad and all but... we're in a bit of trouble here. We happen to be at the nobodies's headquarters and we need some assistance. If you could get Sora that'd be great. Bye" He closed the phone and looked over to Yuffie. "Scout's honnor." Reno was really glad he wasn't a scout. Reno had glanced over without Yuffie catching him. "I'm going to call Valentine now."

"Pft. Reno with a scout's honor? Like that ever happens." She rolled her eyes and turned around in the arrest-me-red dress. A small strap w rapped around her neck then flowed down her front creating a V-cut to about her belly then crossed and draping down into the skirt of the dress. It was slit up on one side to the thigh, she didn't have any shoes but that didn't stop her.

"So. Any suggestions on being bait?"

Reno smiled, "You never know." Reno about had an epileptic fit when he saw Yuffie. Holy, freaking, shit! Reno wished that he was the bait right about now. "Um... I don't know. Take it off because I'll more than likely ruin your plan by hastily stripping you thanks to that dress. What is that ravage me red?" He tried to be good, he honestly did. It just never worked out.

"Well if you want a way out of here, you'll just have to live with not stripping me until after you take me out to dinner. Tifa and I call it, arrest-me-red. not ravage-me-red." Yuffie smirked as she did a small turn in it.

"Anyways. go lay down and pretend that you're sleeping off the wounds you got earlier. I'm going to try and be bait." The great ninja walked over to the bars and looked up and down the hallway. Zexion was walking by but she didn't even bother with him, he did stare as he walked by though. AHHA! Sucker-Ahoy! Yuffie cheered in her mind.

"Damn, you know patience isn't my forte." Reno laid on his side facing Yuffie. "Ah I see. Well if I was a cop... I'd do more than arrest you." He gave her a wink and then pretended to be asleep.

Yuffie didn't even bother responding to his comments, she was more concentrated on the sucker. Which was Demyx, and boy was Demyx staring. The great ninja knew how to act almost like a hooker, so she acted like how she knew it. "Hey.. Demyx.. How's it going?" She tempted him by exposing some of her leg. He was pretty much drooling now.

"How about we have a little fun?" She whispered seductively through the bars.

"I don't know about that.. What about your friend there?" Demyx was hesitating now. Zexion was gone by now, bingo for Yuffie. She carefully grabbed his hoodie strings and brought him close to her face, "He's knocked out, if you're really worried about it.. We could always go to your room." Letting go she winked.

**Yuffie: 1 Demyx: NOTHING.**

Reno listened to Yuffie as she spoke to Demyx. Damn, he was dying just listening. Reno blocked out Demyx's voice and found himself thinking that Yuffie was speaking to him. Reno slightly peeked out of one eye to watch. Yuffie really needed to wear a dress like that more often. Damn, he found it horrid to try to be asleep.

**Self-control , Explicit thougts 5,000.**

Demyx opened the door and just as quickly Yuffie grabbed him and tripped him bringing him to the ground. She didn't have the power to knock him out. But Reno did! Reno heard the loud footsteps of Demyx. Reno knocked Demyx out and he fell straight on his ass. Reno threw in one more punch for good measure. "Asshole. Now, let's grab his coat and go."

"Wait why do we need his coat?" Yuffie questioned, but she did it anyway. Afterwards she drug him to the corner and followed Reno out of the cell closing the door. She didn't forget the lingerie, nor her PJs. Both where in her white box.

"We need it because it's ten times easier to get around in a disguise." Reno took a little bit of gel into his hair and fixed it like Axel's. He tucked his ponytail out of sight. "How do I look?" Reno ran his hands over his red eye scars. "Hey Yuffie, you got any makeup? I need to make these go away." If Reno could pass as Axel they would be home free.

"You know. You gotta love Tifa." Yuffie laughed as she opened up the white box. Cover-up and red eyeliner included.

"Now hold still!" The great ninja giggled out as she grabbed Reno's face and stared to cover up his scars and add Axel's. Reno tried not to move as she applied the girly make up to his face. Reno hoped he could pass as Axel before he got caught.

"Done, now turn around so I can make sure that your ponytail doesn't blow everything up." She commanded, "Yup. You're hair is perfectly fine. Now whatever you do, don't touch your face. So, how are we going to explain me walking around with you?"

Reno hoped that he remembered not to touch his face. He would get them both in hot water if he did. "Hm... I've taken you away, because I want to torture Reno by sleeping with you." He grinned at her, "Or... I could just be transporting you to a different cell or something."

Yuffie rolled her eyes and she replaced the make-up in the box. "Whatever floats your boat, and prevents us from being caught as we try to run for our freakin' lives." She patted his shoulder, "Now. Lead the way.. Axel?"

Reno smiled, "You know what floats my boat." He gave her a quick wink and began walking. "Hold on!" He spotted a pair of handcuffs and a chain. "If you're going to do something... do it right. This way it'll be more believable." Yuffie did a face-palm, afterwards an eye roll. Her question is why the hell is there handcuffs and chains LAYING AROUND. Naturally she didn't voice her thoughts, but she sure as hell was thinking of them.

He loosely placed the handcuffs on her. They were just loose enough to where she could slip her hands out of them. Reno clicked the chain through the middle of the cuffs and walked ahead of her. "Come on... love slave." Unwillingly she let herself be handcuffed and leashed. "You better not push it too far Axel. Or no lingerie for you."

Reno tried to get himself in the mindset of Axel. Ok, fire jokes, and say got it memorized a lot. Then he tried to get himself to act more sinister and evil. "Who says you get to decide. "After all you are my prisoner. Got it memorized Princess?" He was so good it was scary. He even had the voice down. If you didn't know better he would think he actually was Axel.

"Princess Yuffie Kisaragi. Jackass." Oh how she enjoyed being a bitch, perfect cover, "My question is Axel. Where in hell are you taking me and why... Am I in these cuffs?" She held up her hands and jiggled the cuffs. Yuffie followed Reno-Axel smoothly.

Reno really kind of enjoyed his new found freedom as a villain. "Well, I'm going to take you out of here and torture you senseless. I'm going to make you scream for help, and there's nothing that Turk boyfriend of your can do about it." Reno smiled, "I wouldn't want you getting away from me." Reno made his way down the long hallway with Yuffie in tow.

Yuffie was kind surprised by how Reno was acting, but she played it cool. "Axel a sadistic bastard? Never knew that. Turkey not being able to do anything? I'm sure that's not going to happen. Besides if he doesn't do anything, I bet I could." she growled, had to keep this up. Keep going until we find a freaking way out of here.

Reno was glad that so far he hadn't run into anyone. Namely Axel. "I can promise you it will. You'll be pleading with me to make it stop. You nor your little boyfriend won't be able to stop me. Accept it. Got it memorized?" They turned left and still had a ways to go. Reno had no clue where he was going.

"Axel take a left." Yuffie whispered quickly, she just had a feeling. They needed a gummy ship or something along those lines. Awhile ago she was running around here following Sora on his grand mission. She prayed that she knew where the hell she was going.

Reno did as she instructed. "Silence prisoner. You'll be talking soon enough." Reno couldn't help it, but he had to talk this way to Yuffie. Keeping up this facade was crucial to their escape plan. God forbid if someone ran into them. The party was suddenly crashed.

Zexion had arrived on the scene. Yuffie could only think of swearing in her mind. But she continued smooth as butter. "My name is not PRISONER AXEL! It's Princess Yuffie Kisaragi asshole! If you're going to talk to me you better use my name. GOT IT MEMORIZED YET?!" Yuffie growled at Axel, not bothering to even glance at Zexion. He was a weird one man..

Reno played it close to the vest; he didn't even break a sweat when he saw Zexion. He couldn't help that his voice was laced with venom as he spoke to her, "I'll call you whavever I please. You're my prisoner and you don't get to tell me what to do. That's not your role in this. I tell you what to do. If I say beg, you beg. If I say scream, you scream. I'm your master for the time being." He yanked on the chain causing Yuffie to fall to her knees. "Got it memorized?"

Zexion rolled his eyes, _Axel's at it again_. So he just walked by ignoring them. He knew exactly why Axel wanted some, and damn, can that ninja brat wear that dress. Hopefully he wouldn't have to hear about it all week.

Yuffie got back on her feet yanking the chain, "A princess never begs bastard. Plus she doesn't have a master." She growled, as soon as Zexion passed and turned around the corner she kept flickering her eyes to the left. She could just make out the bay doors.

Zexion stopped right around the corner thinking.. "Wait." He whispered.. "Axel's room isn't down this way.. It's only the.." Eyes as wide as bug's he quickly ran back around the corner.

Reno sighed, "Got away with it." He heard the distant foot steps of Zexion fade. "Come on let's move... brat." The two of them continued on. Suddenly Reno heard the sound of foot falls again. "Oh shit. He might have realized that I'm not me. No, wait, that I'm not Axel." Reno had really gotten into character. "What now?" They continued walking in hopes to keep their distance from whoever was coming their way.

"Go through the bay doors. Go through the bay doors. Hurry. Zexion might have found out." Yuffie whispered, taking longer strides to prevent the sounding of hurried steps yet hurrying at the very same time.

Zexion found out, and oh was he mad. Sprinting around the corner he saw them just turn around the corner and Yuffie saw him also. Summoning his book now super speeding down the hallway. If Yuffie and Ax-Reno were not in a life threatening situation she would be laughing so freakin' hard right now. But sadly when someone is coming after to you kill you or take your heart, laughing is not an option. Unless you really do want to die. Yuffie didn't.

"SHIITT!" Yuffie yelled as she removed the cuffs. She backed up a bit, sprinted towards the corner, jumped just as Zexion was turning the corner. She just blindsided him just in time.

"TAKE THAT YOU MOTHERFUCKING PANSY!" Yuffie yelled as she got off him and ran the other direction. Reno really hated Zexion. Stupid idiot blew his cover. He kind of liked pretending to be Axel. He picked up the pace and opened the bay doors. Reno tried to stifle a laugh that threatened to escape. A book? Come on, that's really stupid. He waited for Yuffie after she attacked Zexion. "Hurry up, before more of them come looking for us!"

"You just start up that stupid Gummy ship!" Yuffie yelled, she turned around and headed back to the unconscious Zexion. Seeing anyone knocked out on the ground was hellishly suspicious. So she dragged him into the bay and closed the doors. Then running to the main control board she hesitated.

There was a fuck load of buttons, and she didn't know how to operate this. "Reno.. We have a problem." she called to him over the radio.

**BUTTON MASHING!**


	15. Button Mashing

**Disclaimer: Nope. Nothing is mine. STILL..**

"A fuck load of buttons, and no idea which one does which."

Reno just looked at the ship. It looked pretty fast. Reno climbed into the ship and started he up. All he needed was to get Yuffie in the ship and hit a few more buttons. Then they'd be rid of this place. Reno yelled out the window. "Press two blacks, a white, and a green. I don't know what it'll do though." Reno hoped one of the buttons he suggested didn't get either of them killed.

"Hokay!" Yuffie called back. "Ohh shit man. If I screw this up it's button mashing time.." She whispered. She pressed those buttons.

Black #1: Lights off

Black #2: launch lights on

White: Alarm on

Green: Bay door opening.

"RENOO!!: Yuffie yelled as she sprinted away from the control board and onto the ship while the alarms started to blare. "GET THIS PUPPY STARTED!"

Reno stared in shock as Yuffie pressed the buttons. _Holy shit! _He was either an exceptional guesser or he had just somehow unknowingly tapped into Axel's thoughts. "Right." Reno hit the necessary buttons. Blue, black, green, black, and finally red. The ship rumbled and soon they sped out of the castle. "I know how to drive... I just need directions." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"RAWR!!" Axel screamed as he ran down the hallways setting nearly everything ablaze. Even the poor bystanders, like setting their hair on fire and/or clothes.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU RENO, THEN YUFFIE, THEN YOU DEMYX YOU STUPID FUCKTARD!!" Axel was flaming mad and he was on fire, he entered the bay right as the doors closed sealing him from attaching himself to the Gummy ship. Cue Axel exploding right...

Now...

"Great." Yuffie leaned back in the chair, "We have a driver that doesn't know how to get back. Call Cloud again. Or vampy maybe they know how." She looked over and Reno smiling. "Man you need to wash off that make-up of yours. I really do hate Axel ya know that."

Reno called Cloud, "Hey Spikey. It's me, I don't know if you're avoiding my calls, but I kind of need directions on how to get back from the nobody's castle. Alright, bye." He hated answering machines. He was going to call Vincent, but decided it could wait on more minute.

"Well, Axel doesn't hate you. Not even a little bit." Reno smiled as he stood in front of her chair. "I don't think that you hate Axel." He bent down so he was at her height. "I bet right now you want to give Axel a kiss."

"No. I don't wanna give Axel a kiss. Maybe Reno. And right now you're not Reno." Yuffie crossed her arms and legs, "You might wanna call Vinny since god knows if they're following us. Besides it will take awhile to get back to Traverse Town." She smirked.

Reno sat down and flipped open his phone. He dialed Vincent's number. "Hey Vincent. Yuffie and I ran into a bit of trouble and were taken by the nobodies. We found ourselves a ship and would love some directions. Call me...bye." Reno promptly snapped the phone closed. "Come on. Axel won't bite... Reno does. Play nice and give him a kiss." Reno loved teasing her.

"Pft Reno bites? Nah.. More like barks non-stop. Hey look. Tissues." Yuffie noticed tissues and tissues lead to Yuffie tackling Reno-Axel and wiping off the make-up. "There we go! Reno again. So how are you doing today? After having Axel drag your woman away in cuffs? Not to mention have her hit on several times while wearing an arrest-me-red dress?" She smirked_. Mmm. Fun._

"Oh, you're mistaken princess. I do bite." Reno scrunched his nose. He tested the tissues as they attacked his face. Reno smiled and played along. "Fine thanks, but I will have to kick Axel's ass. Only I get to drag my woman away in hand cuffs and hit on her while she's wearing an arrest-me-red dress." Reno smiled.

"Oh forgot about that bit. You didn't kick Axel's ass." Yuffie was going to have fun teasing Reno again as she returned back to her seat. "Besides I wasn't really cuffed and dragged away. More like I followed you while pretending." To tease Reno more she made sure that when she crossed her legs, the cut in the dress exposed a lot of skin.

Reno stood up and walked over to the navigations board. He checked where in the hell they were. "You know, it was kind of fun pretending to be Axel." Reno sauntered back over and put one hand on Yuffie's chair. "However, I kinda like being me better." He placed his other hand on the chair so that Yuffie appeared trapped.

"I think the only reason why you like being you is, dare I say this? You have a heart and a nobody doesn't. I can't believe I just said that." Yuffie joked; she didn't feel trapped at all. Reno smiled, "Thanks, I'll remember that next time someone call me a heartless jerk." Reno slowly bent in toward Yuffie.

"Reno liking to pretend as someone else? I really doubt that, it seems so... Unusual in my head. I mean Axel is rarely surrounded by any female figures and well you ...Like I have to say anything. Now Mr. Hotshot. Where are we going and is anyone going to call you back?" The great ninja questioned.

"Well, I got to be more demanding and I had you as my love slave. Definitely good reasons to be Axel." He glanced up at the control boards. I tried to get this thing to get us back there, but I make no promises. As for anyone calling me back... we'll see." Yuffie smirked, "What would happen if you didn't have me as your love slave? You would be pretty much out of luck there." While he glanced away she yawned. What one hellishly eventful night she's been having. Reno stared Yuffie dead in the eyes. "Got any ideas on how to pass the time?" He smirked, "If not, I know a few."

Rolling her eyes Yuffie asked the question. "Since I have no idea on what to pass the time with. I will listen to yours and we'll see. No guarantees." Yuffie was betting Reno would say several different things, now to see if she was right.

Reno shrugged, "I don't know... implode or explode perhaps." Reno cracked his neck loudly and dropped his head so he was exactly eye level with her and about a foot away. "Well, you could show me why I should be thanking Tifa for packing. Otherwise, we'll just have to..." He moved closer. "...entertain each other."

"Entertaining each other how? Playing what? Patty-Cake? Haven't played that for years." Yuffie was grinning now. Time to play coy! Time to play coy! Time to partah! "Hey do you think they have any food or drinks on here?" Yuffie questioned leaning farther back in her chair, until she was pretty much horizontal. "Whooaa. Pretty nifty chairs."

Reno was getting a little infuriated. "Well, I don't intend on playing patty-cake." Reno tried to figure out a subtle way to go about this. When the chair is almost horizontal you kind of have to say "screw it" to subtle. "I don't know. It doesn't matter to me... I'm not hungry or thirsty." Reno grabbed the arm rests and pushed himself up to where he too was almost horizontal. He placed his knees on either side of Yuffie's own knees. He was deathly close and was waiting for her cheeks to start matching her dress. "Now, if you will allow me to demonstrate some of tonight's entertainment."

Holy shit. Didn't expect him to go all out here. Yuffie wasn't blushing yet. "Reno not thirsty for some beer? That's new." Reno was getting increasingly annoyed with Yuffie's words. "Nope, no beer." She placed her hands behind her head looking at Reno. "Reno a entertainer? I want to see this." Reno kind of wanted to silence her right then and there. "You will. Trust me." He couldn't help but think that he sounded like a vampire when he said that. The thought of Reno doing some circus stuff was pretty funny. "So. Are you going to juggle chainsaws or something?"

"No... I'm going to perform magic with some help from my lovely assistant." Reno placed one finger under her chin. "Now, I'm going to make everything and everyone else besides me and you disappear." He laced his fingers in her hair and kissed her.

Yuffie was expecting more innuendos flying out of his mouth. Then later some advancement, but not this fast. _Oh well, sometimes plan go flying out of the window in a split second._ So she returned the kiss but retreated to say, "So what's the next thing that's going to disappear? Or else I get to call you the worst magician." The biggest grin was planted on her face now.

Reno thought about it for a minute, he o obviously wasn't a magician. He needed to think of something quick. "Alright, give me a piece of materia. Don't worry I'll give it back." He only knew one magic trick, and that was because his father used to show it to him when he was five.

Yuffie was confused now. "Umm... Normally I would have materia, but not right now. As you can remember my normal clothing is back at your place. With my materia in there." She started to look around. "I doubt there's any here."

Reno then checked his pockets, "Lucky for you... I'm prepared." He pulled out a bright blue ball of materia. He discarded Axel's robe and his jacket. Reno rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and held the bright blue orb out at arms length. "Your average ordinary blue materia. Now, with the help of my lovely, sexy, gorgeous, ravishing, vixen of an assistant I will change this blue materia red."

"Really Reno? What do you want me to do? Stand here and look pretty?" The seat was now at its normal position. Yuffie rolled her eyes smiling.

Reno looked pensively at the ceiling, "Well you could, but actually I just want you to hold out your hands." Reno waited for Yuffie to follow instructions and then placed the shiny blue object in them. Yuffie followed the directions wondering why he was going to make a materia orb change color. _Whoo... Magical. _He then covered the top of the materia with his own. "Now for this trick to work you have to say the magic words."

"Magic words?" She raised an eyebrow, "Fine. What are the magic words then?"

Reno stared her in the eyes and slightly squeezed her hands. It seemed odd to him that when he had first met the ninja princess that he couldn't stand her, but now he was somewhat falling all over himself to save her and win her heart. "Well, the magic words are..." He stared her dead in the eyes and almost mumbled, "...I love you." He then sort of stared at his hands not wanting to meet her eyes.

**Booooooop.** _Yuffie's mind is currently malfunctioning. Hold on... Hold on. Yup it's back._ Now Yuffie's wondering what in **hell **is going on. "Wait... What?" Yuffie questioned. _This was so weird of Reno, saying that line? Let alone mumbling it? Weird._

Reno tried not to get angry as she asked him to repeat it. "You heard me." He didn't want to repeat it. He was breaking his normal pattern. Reno strictly stuck with one or two night stands. Even if he did have one or two long term relationships he n ever told anyone that he loved them.

She paused, Reno seemed slightly touchy but she had to make sure. She really, really had to. "N-no... I didn't" _Well the fun in this trip might be slowly disappearing_, Yuffie thought. Plus why the hell Reno was doing this, she had some ideas, but wasn't too sure about any of them.

Reno was trying not to let his blood boil. He hated this, yeah he was the guy who loved to be "Mr. Hotshot" as Yuffie had put it but he couldn't be that guy all his life. Why was he getting so mad? Was it because his reputation was slowly crumbling around him? Perhaps. "I said... I freaking love you..."

**THERE'S A BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH.**

**Just kidding.**


	16. Wark, Wark, WAAAARRRKKK!

**Disclaimer: Nope, my email doesn't say that I still don't own anything. But I do have some materia!**

He started chewing on the inside of his lip again and drew blood. "...that's what I said." _What the hell am I doing_?_!_

Yuffie just blinked at him highly confused. Whoa, is this really Reno or someone else? Now there was a huge silent, awkward pause. The great ninja's mind was running about a million miles per hour. She had no idea what to say so... _OH FUCK THIS!_

"I... I love you too Reno." Yuffie murmured blushing a bright red.

Reno felt all anger, and all his resentment at the reputation he had made for he disappear. He just looked up at Yuffie, and was glad that he wasn't throwing himself out on a limb for nothing. "I'm sorry I didn't hear you right." He joked and then lifted his hands off of the materia. Sure enough the once blue orb now glowed a striking red that almost put both Reno's hair and Yuffie's dress to shame. "Oh, wait you did say what I thought you said." Yuffie just glared at him playfully, while he joked around. Reno quickly kissed Yuffie and handed her the materia. "It's yours if you want it."

Now looking at the orb the ninja laughed at Reno's comment. "Well that's a stupid question to ask. The great ninja of Wutai, superior materia hunter turning down a piece of free materia? You insult what I stand for!" She took the materia and playfully h it him on the arm, while sticking her tongue out at him. Then she stole his phone. "So here is the infamous phone that caused most of this shit. Now let's see what it has on it." She rotated her chair so she was facing away from Reno now as she went into the pictures.

"No insult was intended princess." Reno put on a face of mock surprise. "Hey, give me my phone back!" Reno didn't need her snooping. He frankly didn't remember what pictures he had on his phone... besides the ones that had gotten the both of them in so much trouble. "Nupe. Not giving your phone back." Yuffie felt evil now. So she started to change all sorts of settings like his background. She started to laugh evilly, oh he was going to love the new wallpaper. Reno jumped her from behind and landed on her back. "Give it here." Then the phone started to ring in her hand. "Hey it looks like Vinny!" Yuffie cheered, "Maybe he'll be able to direct us back home."

He tried t o wrestle it from her grip... until Valentine called. "Why don't you answer it?" Reno got up and looked at what remained of his pants. Yuffie quickly jumped up when Reno got up and dance away while answering the phone. "HI VIN-VIN! How goes it?" Yuffie chirped in the phone sticking her tongue out at Reno afterwards. _Shit_, one of his best pairs of pants were now his best pair of shorts. Reno sat down in the chair Yuffie had chosen before.

"So do you know how to get us back? Since we're in a gummy ship in the middle of nowhere, plus it doesn't really have nav." She was leaning over the control panel now. Reno vaguely listened to the conversation happening between Yuffie and Valentine. "So I press this, this and this? Uh-uh.. Yeah. Yeah." The greatAninja was rolling her eyes now. "Just tell Rufus his turkey is still alive and his security fucking sucks. Don't forget the fucking sucks part kay? BYYEEE." Click. Reno stifled a laugh as she mentioned Rufus. Reno watched her as she waved the phone in front of his face.

"Well we're heading home now, plus on the right track!" She waved the phone at Reno. "You want this?" "Yeah, I would like my phone back. So would you please give it back?" He doubted she would. Reno remained seated and waited for her reply.

"Well that depends." Yuffie joked, she was going to give it back after tormenting him a bit. "I kinda feel like sending some people in your phone book some messages. Or some of the other images I found in your phone. Like the napping Elena. That would be great!" Reno played it relatively cool, "Send those pictures, I don't care."

She grinned mischievously, "Or I can call Tifa and tell her all about what happened oh she would love to hear it! I think I'll do that." Sitting down and spinning around she started to type in Tifa's number. "I'll tell her that you confessed your undying love for me!"

He leaned back a little, "Go ahead and tell Tifa what happened." Then he just couldn't help it. "No, you will not!" Reno jumped up and tackled Yuffie. Yuffie squeaked as she was attacked by Reno but he was a little late, the phone started to ring. The pair fell to the floor and the chair had no choice but to join them. "Give it."

"NEVAH!!" Yuffie yelled as Tifa picked up the phone. At the other line Tifa was just staring at the phone with a, "_WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK?_" face on. She knew it was t he ninja but the number was Reno's cell. "Your phone is mine now buddy! I'm still going to tell Beefa that you confessed your undying love for me! THE GREAT NINJA OF WUTAI! THE SINGLE WHITE ROSE! BWAHAHAA!" Now Tifa was very, very confused. Just the thought of Reno maybe saying that line would make anyone's head explode, into a thousand pieces. Tifa's was about to do that as she heard what sounded like a fight was going on, on the other end.

"Umm.. Yuffie?" Tifa called into the phone slightly afraid of what might happen next.

Reno cursed his phone, he cursed the ringing, but above all... he cursed Yuffie. "Oh no you don't get back here." He ran after Yuffie and the phone slid out of her hands and slid onto the floor. Soon the two of them joined the cell phone. They landed and let out a loud chorus of, "AH!" Reno vaguely wondered what Tifa was thinking about now. Reno pinned Yuffie, "It's always so easy to pin you down."

"That's only because I let you Mr. Hotshot." Yuffie replied, rolling over on top of him and kissing him to distract him a little more. Reno let out a loud "Umph!" as he exchanged places with Yuffie. "You kn ow, when I'm on bottom I get a better look at your chest." He was going to get it for that one. He was caught off guard when she kissed him, but he soon responded and kissed her back.

While she was doing all of this she tried to grab the phone but sadly it was under one of the un-detachable chairs. Not to mention they where slightly too far away. "Damnit!" Yuffie muttered as she tried to climb over Reno to the phone but not doing too well. Reno felt her try to climb off him and grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back. "Oh, no you don't. Your ass is mine!"

"MY ASS IS NOT YOURS!" The great ninja growled as she continued to struggle for the phone, she didn't care that Reno saw her chest, everyone sees her chest. "Now excuse me Mr. Hotshots I need to talk to TIIFFFAAA. Without you trying to strip my clothes off!" Yuffie tried to knock him away from her long enough to get the phone.

Tifa was doing a face-palm right now, soon to be a head-desk. So that was who she was with, she thought it was Vincent but instead the dirty, drinking turkey. _That proclaimed undying love for the Great Ninja?_ It was the apocalypse right now, and even more when Cloud came in right as Reno yelled that Yuffie's ass is his, plus the great ninja's retort.

"Tifa?" Cloud questioned looking at the phone afraid as if it would **eat** him.

"Cloud. It's Reno and Yuffie on the phone. Looks-wait. Sounds like they're having a battle on the other side." Tifa explained, but she was suddenly suspicious when Cloud didn't freak out. Yuffie was like a little sister to him."Cloud." The barmaid said sternly, "Why are you not freaking out?"

"Um. I am freaking out Tifa." To prove his point he.. Waved his arms. Several times, and made a chocobo wark. Tifa was **speechless.**

Reno could clearly hear Cloud squawking on the line and almost burst out laughing. Yuffie stared at the phone. She heard chocobo head WARK for freakin' sakes. So she totally forgot the fact that she was on top of Reno for a complete minutes. Reno now realized that this was his grand opportunity and flipped Yuffie. "You always told me you like it better when I'm on top." He smiled into her neck. "Of course your ass is mine." He let his hands linger around her waist. "Oh, and good luck with keeping me from stripping your clothes off. That's just something I would never promise."

He yelled into the phone, "Why don't you ask Cloud about the pictures Yuffie sent on my phone?" Cloud was going to kill him. "Yuffie here loves to pose." He looked down at Yuffie, "Isn't that right Princess?" Cloud was going to kill Reno. Torture him first then maybe kill him, or castrate him. If Tifa didn't kill Cloud first, or Yuffie killed Reno. Either way there would be a lot of bodies.

"You are such a fucking lair!" Yuffie growled when she was back on bottom again. She needed that phone, no luck there with another distraction from Reno. "You are not stripping my clothes off anytime soon boy. You still owe me a fucking sushi dinner!" "RENO YOU JUST DIDN'T DO THAT!" Yuffie screamed at the Turk, "Your stupid phone took those pictures while we where fighting for the phone." She gasped, "Like right now. OH SHIT!" As if the phone was totally reading her mind and everything there was a click.

"Tifa.. I can explain." Cloud whimpered, Tifa2was scarier than Hojo and Vincent when she's in a really, really bad mood. "No explanations. I want to see the pictures." She growled holding her hand out. "Eeep." Cloud handed over the phone just when a new image message came in. The one that was just taken at the other end. Tifa's eyes grew as big as saucers and she was just staring with her jaw to the floor.

Reno's shook his head, "I'm not a liar, and your clothes soon shall be mine." He thought for a moment. "If it makes you feel better... I'll strip first." He got off of Yufffie and pulled of the remains of his pants and his shirt. Reno was left only in his black boxers.

"AHHH!" Yuffie yelled as Reno started to strip, great. Great. Everyone's heads are so going to explode soon, if not Yuffie first. He crawled back on top of Yuffie, despite her efforts to wriggle away. "Don't worry, I'll wine and dine you in no time." He glanced back at t he phone and then Yuffie, "Oh, but I did." Reno buried his fingers in her hair and smirked. He then moved so he was laughing into her neck. He heard the camera click and his eyes went wide. Reno simply fell into a silent fit of laughter. "Enjoy guys."

"Tifa?" Cloud whispered afraid that she might start exploding, which she didn't do. Instead she hung up the phone and looked at Cloud's cell at the new picture. After awhile she did return it to Cloud and did he have one hell of a heart attack. He passed out, too much for chocobo head. If Tifa heard Yuffie's line after she hung up she would have passed out also.

Yuffie heard the **beeeeeepp** when someone hangs up on you or the call was lost. "Tifa? TIFA! OH DEAR GOD I'M ALONE WITH RENO NOW! WHO'S A STRIPPER!" She continued to struggle away just because she wanted the phone and try to tell Tifa to save her, but Reno continued to stop her process. "How dare you Turkey! You're stopping a princess from talking to one of her best friends! Doom on you!" Reno looked up at Yuffie with mock innocence on his face. "I'm sorry... I'm a horrible person." Reno then shrugged and had a wicked grin plastered to his face. "However, it's not unusual for horrible people to do horrible things." Reno was acting out of sorts. "Why don't we just skip the formalities and just both be horrible people..." His hand grazed her thigh. "Together." He was definitely acting odd.

Yuffie raised a eyebrow at his wicked grin, _yup something is loose in his head. Question is what?_ "What? A princess being a horrible person? That can never happen. Princess can't be horrible." She smirked fluttering her eyes at Reno. "Of course they can. Everyone can be a horrible person. It just depends on what you decide."

Suddenly the magical Materia orb that was discarded in the fight attacked the Turk's head. More like fell on it but attacking sounds funnier in Yuffie's mind. "My materia agrees with me!" The great ninja joked grinning. Reno rolled his own eyes as Yuffie fluttered hers and it was at that moment the materia fell on him. "Damn it!" He cursed momentarily. "You want to be nurse Yuffie again?"

**WARK WARK WARRRRKKK!**

**Cloud is embracing his inner Chocobo. **


	17. SexyVampires and SexVixenTrickorTreater

**WHOOOOTT! Another upload of 3 chapters! Nyahahhahhaaa!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. Not even a sexy vampire outfit. OH SNAP.**

Yuffie laughed hard at that. "What do you want me to do? Kiss it?" She joked as she continued to laugh hard. Hurray for responsive materia orbs that follow her command, maybe she should start an army of them. A huge army, and take over the world that would be cool. Reno shrugged, "It... or me. Whatever you want." He eyed the materia warily. Reno would have to remember to not leave materia where it could hit him in the head. Neither Reno nor Yuffie noticed where they had landed.

The materia orb moved slightly so it looked like the swirls where making an evil face at Reno before disappearing again. "Um.. I kinda don't feel like kissing your gel saturated hair." She stuck her tongue out with a disgusted face on. Reno narrowed his eyes, "Fine, just so you know... you've upset the hair." Yuffie wiggled around a little bit trying to see if she could get out from under Reno. Reno cursed everyone and everything as Yuffie wiggled. He suppressed a groan. Just count to five. One... two... three... FIVE. She looked out for a quick second to see a blur before a very loud thump went through the ship. "What the hell?" Yuffie whispered. Reno stood up and looked outside the window. "Holy... Shit!" He waved Yuffie over. "You have to see this."

Yuffie jumped up at the speed of light, "YES FREEDOM! Thank you materia!" She grabbed the orb and kissed it. Then patted Reno's red head. Reno hated getting his hair pat. His face contorted in annoyance. "Sorry Mr. Hair but the gel on you tastes very, very nasty. So Turkey what do you want me to look a..." The great ninja forgot to finish her sentence. The whole place outside was very.. Halloween-ish. But scarier, and cooler. "DUDE! It's Halloween Town! Sora told me all about this! WICKED SWEET!" Yuffie cheered as she looked out of the window. Reno simply turned back to the window. "Halloween Town? Hm... sounds interesting to say the least."

**THWAP.**

Yuffie blinked, there was a bandaged, scary, looking mummy now plastered to the glass. More like gnawing on it now, Yuffie waved at it smiling. He hadn't jumped in the slightest when the mummy suctioned itself to the window. "Well, that's a warm welcome." He said with one eyebrow raised. "Shall we go outside and take a look?"

"YAAA!!" Yuffie quickly lowered the ramp and ran outside before Reno could say, "Strip!" She ran outside to be greeted by the famous Halloween Town song. This totally made her day, and she danced around with them. "Come join us Reno!" Yuffie cheered waving at Reno while twirling around. Reno hesitated momentarily and then ventured outside. He joined Yuffie as the boisterous music filled not only the air, but his ears as well. Reno couldn't deny that he liked this newfound tune. His eyes watched as Yuffie twisted and twirled as she walked. "Where to?"

She laughed as bats flew by her. "Just to dance silly! It's rare that I get to dance, let alone in a dress without Cid blabbering his jaw." But as soon as that the song came to an end. "Aww." She complained, while looking around. "To dance?" The words seemed so foreign to Reno. He didn't dance much. Even if he did, he danced **with someone**. Reno's eyes observed as the bats took off into the trees. Reno glanced quickly at the monsters. Everything here was so bizarre, but not at the point where it was unpleasant.

"Hiya guys!" Yuffie waved at the monsters and such that where looking at her. They waved back smiling then a skeleton appeared trying to scare Yuffie, it was Jack! "Hi Jack!" The great ninja chirped waving at the growling skeleton. Jack stopped since he knew that she wasn't afraid of him, maybe next time. He plotted.

"Hi! What brings you to Halloween Town...?" He paused since he didn't know the girl in the dress. "It's Yuffie I'm a friend of Sora's. Plus this is Reno!" Yuffie dragged Reno over to show him to Jack. Reno watched as the skeleton crept up on Yuffie and attempted to scare her. He failed miserably. Apparently, Yuffie knew him. Reno looked at Jack and simply placed a smile on his face and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too! So what are you looking for in Halloween Town. A nice scare?" He growled smiling, Yuffie giggled. "No, we're just looking around. But is there a place where we can get scary outfits?" She grinned looking hopefully at Jack. "Why of course little lady! I'll lead you to the best place to buy anything that would make anyone give a good scream!" Jack proclaimed to the world, and Yuffie. "This way please." Jack bowed down pointing the way, Yuffie bounced along with Jack leading them.

Reno decided that he ultimately liked this place. Sure it had a bleak and scary demeanor, but he sort of liked that. "Why not? A nice scare is always welcome." Reno didn't scare easily. Outfits? What about outfits? If Yuffie thought she was going to get Reno to dress like a werewolf she was nuts. Reno silently followed behind the two of them and took in the sights. "So, Jack... what exactly is there to do around here?"

"Why son! There is so MUCH to do!" Jack spun around and continued to walk backwards now. "Bobbing for heads, playing tricks, gathering parts to create a scary gift to someone the possibilities are ENDLESS!" The skeleton once again yelled to the world. Yuffie giggled at Jack's silliness. Now Jack was standing by a door, through the windows Yuffie could see a costume shop. "Welcome to Scare Ware." Opening the door the great ninja bounced inside looking around excitedly. "Remember! Your first outfit is free!" Jack called inside the store before leaving again to do.. Scary stuff.

_Son? _Besides calling him son, Reno liked Jack. He kept up the pace with the overly tall skeleton. "Really... sounds fun. We'll have to check some of them out." Reno made it a point of trying to forget about bobbing for heads. Reno watched Yuffie disappear into the shop. "Free hu? Go make yourself pretty... er." If he didn't watch himself Reno could end up in a hell lot of trouble.

Yuffie quickly looked through the first rack and found several outfits for Reno. "Hey Reno! Do you want to be a Werewolf? Or a Zombie? How about a Vampire?" She called over to the red head placing the outfits on top of the rack before she went off to look for an outfit for herself. She started to pull out ones that she liked or kind of liked. "Hmm... Imp, Devil, Mummy, Ghost, and Witch." Now it was her turn to ponder.

Reno looked at what she picked. "What? No male stripper?" He let out a low chuckle. "Send the vampire and the zombie this way." Reno looked at Yuffie's choices. "Hmm... you look like a devil, imp, or witch girl to me. Why not just mix and match?" Reno slid into the dressing room and tried on parts of the zombie costume and the vampire costume. He looked at himself. "Almost perfect." He grabbed one red and one stark white contact and put them in. "There." He waited for Yuffie to say that she was done. She was in for a surprise.

Yuffie grabbed the three choices, and was looking at them. Pondering and pondering away. Before Reno stepped out of the dressing room, Yuffie went into the second one and started to combo the outfits. She grabbed the tall heeled boots, black shorts with a green mini-skirt over them then the green and black corset. She added arm warmers and some makeup. Stepping out she giggled and looked at Reno. "Ooh like the eyes. But where are your fangs?" She smirked flashing the fangs that sh e had stolen out of the costume bag.

Reno eyed Yuffie up and down. _Holy shit did she look nice._ Reno hadn't flashed her his smile yet. "Here see... ah." He opened his mouth. Reno had a smaller set of fangs on his lower canine teeth and a brilliant set on top. "Well, don't you just look like the sex-vixen trick-or-treater..." He smirked at her as he circled her. "You look... delicious."

"You're so pretty yet you're so dead. In a vampire sense." Yuffie joked. "Why thank you." Reno replied smirking. "Aww. So I really didn't steal all of your fangs, damnit." She joked, "Sex-vixen trick or treater? Nice line Reno. But no sex for you. Sorry." The ninja had a smug grin on her face as she turned around to place the remaining clothes back. "So what do you want to do now? Since I did kinda drag you around." Yuffie flashed her tongue at Reno just for fun.

Reno tapped into the charming part that came with being a vampire and kissed her hand. "Mmm... just as I predicted. I'm going to have to eat you." Reno gave her a rather devilish look and stood behind her and pulled her close. "Really? I beg to differ. Reno never gets no sex." Reno placed his fangs close to her neck. "Don't stick your tongue out unless you plan on using it." His own tongue darted out and he licked a trail up to her jaw.

"Eat me? A Princess? Nu-uh." Yuffie retorted before she was pulled close to Reno. "Oh I do plan on using it. To lick my lips sexily, while I escape with all of your goods from your house via window in my red dress. Or in this outfit." She whispered while slowly blinking her eyes at Reno, with a small smirk on her face. "Oh, but Princesses taste better than most." Reno was enjoying what she was doing. Aiding and abiding. Yuffie grabbed Reno's hands and wrapped them around her waist, she then leaned her head back exposing more of her neck and looking a t the vampire Reno from an interesting view.

Reno pulled his head back at her neck and kissed one spot gently. "Definitely better than most." He took one hand off of her waist and used it to pull her chin up just a bit further. "Really? Hmm... well what if some of those goods were your goods as well." Reno was surprised at the rapid rate at which things were happening. They hadn't really had a first date and he asked if she would move in with him. Reno smirked back at her and placed another kiss on her neck.

"I really doubt that. Most Princesses taste like snotty jerks and makeup." Yuffie replied as her chin was raised up a little more. Her smirk slowly grew in size. "Some of those goods are mine? So what did you do? Go on a panty raid in my room? Then I'll just have to steal all that was mine and yours."

Reno shrugged, "I suppose you're right. Maybe it's just you that's so damn tasty." She had wiggled away a little and using the one hand that laid on her waist he pulled her as close as possible. Reno hadn't meant to growl as he pulled her close, but it happened anyway. "No, panty raids, but that's awfully tempting."

She had to laugh at his growl, it fitted his character well, plus Vincent. Yuffie pushed away the thoughts of Vincent, he had his chance and blew it out of the water. "Yuffie tasty? Haven't heard that one yet either." She rolled her eyes at the thought of Reno doing a panty raid then laughed. "If I move in with you I'm going to put a huge padlock on my panty and bra drawers. So you can't raid them." Yuffie raised her arms and wrapped them around Reno's neck and started to play with his hair, mainly his ponytail.

Reno loved her laugh. "Don't worry, I won't touch your panties or your bras..." He paused and moved close to her ear. "...unless you want me to." Reno's fangs were clearly visible when he smiled at Yuffie. God he loved it when she played with his hair. She grinned, "Nope, no touchies on the panties and bras. If you do that I promise no sex at all, period." She gently leaned back into Reno grinning.

He traced a line down her neck to where he presumed her jugular vein was. "No, I meant that you should live elsewhere... with me." His hand that had been resting on her hip wandered down to her thigh. "Unless you have any reason why you shouldn't." She moved again and he smiled. So he wasn't the only one who was a little bit ticklish. "I really don't have any reason why I shouldn't, except the minor fact that several people might have some heart attacks if I did." She moved around a little more since she was still being tickled by Reno's breath and lips, plus his newly bared teeth.

Reno kissed a spot right under her ear. Thankfully right under her ear wasn't ticklish, so no more random giggling. "Let them have heart attacks. That leaves a lot less people to walk in on me and you..." He continued to plant kisses down to her collar bone. "...when I make you mine." He lightly moved his jaw and applied the faintest amount of pressure with his teeth to her neck.

"But if that happens I won't have a lot of people to steal gil and materia from." Yuffie pouted at the thought of no more people to steal from, it would be a sad day. "Hey watch it Mr. Hotshot. I don't want to be walking around with a bite mark. People might really think that vampire really bit me." The great ninja warned as she gently pulled back on his ponytail, showing off her fangs now.

Reno knew that she could feel his lips smirking against her skin. "Would that be so terrible?" He took his fingers from her hair and placed it against the side of her face. "Maybe then random people would stop hitting on you. You just need to advertise that you're spoken for." Reno let his tongue linger at one perfect spot on her neck. "I'll let you bite me, if you let me bite you." He applied more pressure to his teeth; being careful not to break the skin and draw blood. He loved her now demanding nature. "Come on, be mine. It's only just a moment of pain." He was perhaps the best and sexiest vampire ever.

**Cue fainting fangirls!**


	18. MakeOut Interrupted and Tackles

**PARTY! WE HAVE A HUGE FAN BASE!**

**Can I beg for pictures of the fic? Pleaseeee... Yuffie and Reno would love it... 3**

**Disclaimer STILL DON'T OWN ANYTHING.. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH**

She rolled her eyes, "What's wrong with random men hitting on me?" Yuffie whispered against Reno's cheek. She smirked at the thought of biting him, but that would mean she would be running around with vampire bites. Maybe that was a little bit more fun. He kissed Yuffie's shoulder. "The problem is..." He kissed her other shoulder. "I want you all to myself." Reno kissed the back of her neck, "I'm selfish that way." She rolled her head around again to look at Reno again from the corner of her eye. "A very selfish Reno? That's new, kinda like the idea though."

"You keep being the first of stuff, interesting.." The great ninja whispered, looking at him smoothly.

"Really... hmm. I wonder what other firsts I might be for you."

"Hmm. You not my first boyfriend, nor friend..." Yuffie started to name really random stuff off.

She giggled as Reno smacked another kiss on her neck. "Hey that tickles." She moved around a little bit since it tickled so much. "So Mr. Mc Vampy-Vamp. Are you going to drink my blood or tickle me to death?"

He kept her close regardless of her squirming. "Does it?" His hot breath struck her neck. He placed a lingering kiss on the other side of her neck. "Mmm... maybe both." He pulled back his lips and let her feel the tips of his teeth against her neck. Yuffie managed to move enough so she could brush her lips against Reno's cheek. "I didn't know that you drank blood." She whispered. Yuffie wasn't too bad herself; he could tell she was trying to entrance him as he had entranced her. "Only yours."

"Well, I'm your first best boyfriend." Reno tried to spin things to his advantage. "I wouldn't dream of it. Unless you beg." He laced his fingers on the one hand not preoccupied through her hair. "Well, just because they have heart attacks doesn't mean they'll die." He kissed right under her chin. "Your materia is save, along with the gil."

"Hmm. You might gain that title, but you don't have it yet vampy. You forgot that a princess never begs." Yuffie brought down one hand so she could play with Reno's ear then slowly slid it down his jaw. "Well I'm happy that my future materia and gil are safe, but wouldn't Rufus die of a heart attack since he's an old man?" She giggled at the thought of Rufus falling to a stupid heart attack.

Reno licked the spot where his teeth had been just moments before. "No, but I have a feeling that I will." He laughed causing his breath to hit her neck like waves in the ocean. "I shall never forget again." Reno inhaled Yuffie's smell and took his one hand and brushed a stray hair from her eyes. "No, it will take more than a heart attack to bring down Rufus. So you can count on his materia donations." His voice had dropped several octaves when he had said that. It was the perfect deep voice an actual vampire would use. Yuffie smirked, he did it better than all of those vampire films The great ninja watched in her free time.

Reno smiled as he thought about Yuffie covered in a necklace of bites that he had given her. Once again she gently pulled on his ponytail. Reno loved that she pulled on his ponytail again. "I'm considering your offer, but I still don't know." She returned her weight back to her feet and shifted a bit." Mmm.. Materia donations. I like the sound of that." Yuffie began to imagine the idea of Rufus' materia collection probably the best around. Reno again laughed at her comment. "I bet you do." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye as well. "I'm glad you like it." His voice remained the same as before. The deepness was what she liked and he liked the way things were going.

Reno felt her shift and pulled her against him again. "You're not going anywhere." He smirked. I only have the best not so good intentions for you Princess." Reno went back to the spot on her neck that he had previously been enamored with. He licked it once more and applied more pressure than before. "Hmm. Let me try something." Yuffie leaned back again trying her best to look mighty sexy from Reno's point of view. "How about you go ahead with your little plan, but I get a bite." She covered her voice in silk including a seductive look, and stretching her fingers thro ugh his hair once again.

Reno raised one questioning eyebrow. "Alright." The look she was giving him was giving him ideas. Damn, did she have to look so freaking sexy right now? Reno simply nodded and gave the spot on her neck one last lick. Reno took in a deep breath and opened his mouth. He let the points of his teeth graze her skin and bit down. Only this time he drew some blood and this bite would surely leave a mark. The faintly coppery taste of blood seeped onto his tongue and he lightly sucked on her neck in hopes of getting more. Reno never figured he would enjoy blood like this. However, it was Yuffie's blood.

Yuffie rolled her eyes, not really sure why she was doing this but hey, it was fun. The great ninja prepared to have her neck bitten with fake vampire fangs. She inhaled sharply as he bit into her skin. Stupid sensitive neck, but damn he's more of a vampire than Vincent2is every day! Yuffie thought. Yuffie giggled when he tried to suck on her neck, it felt so weird for her. She waited for a bit before reminding Reno once again in her silk voice, "Hey, don't forget I get a bite too."

Reno loved the effect he was having over her. He removed his mouth from her neck and saw that some blood began to trickle down. Reno quickly licked up the blood seeping from Yuffie's neck. "Mmm... you're delicious, and you make even more delicious sounds." A wicked grin plastered itself across Reno's features. He loved the silky tone to her voice. "Wouldn't dream of it." Reno stood there and waited for the ninja to make her move.

Yuffie wiggled around because she was so damn ticklish around the neck, but couldn't help giggle. "Delicious eh? Maybe I should temp Vincent and you more with my blood." The great ninja smirked it was her turn now. Yuffie quickly turned around and pressed herself flush up against Reno with her lips barely touching his neck. One hand curled around the very base of his pony tail and pulled back slightly the other went under his arm to wrap around his back.

Reno watched as it all unfolded before him. _Give me heart failure, why don't ya?!_ There was absolutely nothing but clothes between the two .The ninja had to stand on her toes a little bit to reach the place she wanted to bite. Yuffie lightly breathed on Reno's neck but didn't bite yet. Reno felt her breath on his neck now and understood what it was like to be the teased instead of the teaser. Reno would ordinarily have laughed about Yuffie and the height difference, but there was nothing funny about how she was about to sink her teeth into his neck. "Maybe you should tempt me more often." He felt her grip tighten on his hair, but he had yet to feel her bite down. What was she waiting for?

"Temp you more often? Well that's a thought. Maybe I _should_ do it more." Yuffie giggled into Reno's neck, doing so she lightly placed her fangs against his skin. Reno felt her giggling and was a little frustrated. Patience wasn't his virtue...at all. She gently pressed down until she tasted some blood, she lightly licked the blood from the vampire Turk's neck. She took one last lick that went from the bite mark to his ear, Yuffie even nipped his ear before leaning back and looking at Reno with a smirk. "But if I only tempt you I might get bored." She stated.

Finally He felt her teeth and grit his teeth. Other than that he made no indication of what he was feeling or doing. Damn her tongue, thank her tongue... he wasn't sure which one to go with. Suddenly his attention switched from her tongue to his ear. "Who said you'd only be tempting?" Now he knew what to do. Thank her tongue, but damn her teeth.

Yuffie looked at him questionably, "Only be tempting?" She looked away trying to figure out what he meant. Looking at the ceiling slightly confused at what Reno was trying to imply. "So.. What are you trying to imply besides that I'm a Sex-Vixen Trick-or-Treater?" Reno bent his head close to her ear, "Well if you tempt someone they will kind of get the impression that maybe you might be willing to tempt them with something else... and then go through with it." Reno watched her in her confused state. "Oh, and of course you are a Sex-Vixen Trick-or-Treater." Reno knew damn well if she rang the doorbell to his apartment on Halloween looking like that he would abduct her and never let her leave his apartment.

"The Great Ninja going through with stuff? When does that happen? I only complete plans when there's materia or gill to be stolen." Yuffie was looking back at Reno with a smirk on her face. She absentmindedly scratched her neck, "So are we going to look around some more or just continue to make out here?" Reno rolled his eyes, "Then why the hell have you been kissing me?" He shook his head and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Well..." Reno gave her a kiss, but the kiss was interrupted by Jack coming to look for them. _Shit!_

Yuffie quickly turned around again to wave at Jack, "Hi Jack! We found some outfits!" She chirped covering up what was happening.

"Hi Yuffie!" Jack returned as if he didn't see anything, which he didn't. "I have some great news!"

"Ooh! What is it?" Yuffie questioned now excited she loved good news and surprises. "Sora's here!" Jack proclaimed, just as he finished Yuffie whizzed pass him to see Sora walking towards them. Reno smiled at Jack. "That's great news . Thanks for the outfits." If only Jack knew how grateful he actually was.

"**SORA**!" Yuffie yelled as she tacked the Keyblade master. "Hi Yuffie!" Sora managed to say before she tackled him almost to the ground. "Heard that you where coming this way after escaping from Origination 13. Came to see if you where Ok and everything." Sora carefully pried Yuffie off of him. "We're Ok! Just got some new outfits and all." The ninja grinned.

Reno stared at a small brunette boy with incredibly spiky hair and blue eyes. "Did Strife and Tifa have a baby or something?" Reno had never seen Sora and hadn't meant for that to fly out of his mouth. "Why don't you ever tackle me like that Yuff?" He smirked and walked over to Sora.

"Sadly Chocobo and Beefa didn't have a kid. _Yet._" Yuffie stated as she turned around to look at Reno smiling. She turned around and patted Sora on the head, "The reason why Turkey is because Sora is adorable. And very tackle-able. You are not, sadly." She tried to grin as innocently as she could, which is hard in the outfit she was wearing.

"Well, they should. They should just get locked in a room with nothing but a bed in it and have at it." Reno obviously didn't care who was in the room as he said it. "I guess. You just can't be adorable and sexy. You have to be one or the other." Reno didn't buy the innocent look she was trying to feed him. "I've told Tifa that she should lure Cloud into a room, lock it and run around in some lingerie and get it over with. I swear they would have pretty babies." Reno nodded in response about Tifa and Strife.

"Back on topic." Sora stated looking at the two of them, "You two have to head back to Traverse town, but it's going to be at least a day's trip. So I suggest you two buy some food, then head back. I have to go and do some errands for Sally, so I won't be able to watch you guys leave, but do have a good trip!" "Awww!" Yuffie wined hugging Sora gently this time. "I'll see you hopefully soon right Sora?" She pouted it was so much fun hanging out with him."Right!" Sora nodded as Yuffie let him go. He waved at Reno before heading off.

**Sora is so cute. I just want to hug him until he snaps in half.. **


	19. Stupid SAND

**I hope this will keep you satisfied for awhile...Or at least hold you back from breaking down my door with flaming pitchforks.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything. Not even a flaming pitchforks.**

"Looks like we're stuck in the Gummy ship again." Yuffie groaned."Alright, we'll get back. Sally? Who's Sally?" Reno look perplexed. Yuffie rolled her eyes and started to walk towards the Items shop with some munnies she lifted from Sora. She swung the bag back and forth answering Reno's questions. "Sally is Jack's... Almost girlfriend I want to say, she's pretty though." Yuffie had seen Sally once through a picture Sora brought back, and from Sora's description she seemed really nice. He shook that thought from his mind and held out his hand. "Nice to have finally met you Sora. Hope to see you again soon." Reno looked at Yuffie, "Where to first?"

"First to the Item shop, I kinda need some kind of weapon until I get back to my beloved weapons. Then food." He walked beside her as they walked to the item shop. "You might want to check your neck it's kind of bleeding." He walked closer and licked up the blood. "Never mind, all gone." Reno checked his neck for blood. "So, what exactly is Sally? I mean Jack is a skeleton... does that mean that Sally is or what?" Reno wondered what spending a week in this town would be like. "Alright, to the Item shop then."

Yuffie rolled her eyes, Yup Reno's officially the new vampire in the group. "Well Sally is kinda like a pretty Frankenstein. And cooler." She tried to explain as she entered the Item shop. Reno couldn't help it, he just loved her neck. "Oh really? That's cool."

Yuffie started to look around for a small dagger or something with the word "Throwing" in it. She found what she was looking for some throwing daggers. Perfect combo. "So how much are you going to let me buy?" Yuffie questi oned Reno who was just looking around. Reno eyed the weapons throughout the shop. Reno grabbed a small sword, waved it once, and then simply put it back. "Depends oh what you need and how expensive it is."

Yuffie quickly looked back at the price-tag, "Thirty munnies for five. Well?" Why am I asking when I have the munny bag right around my wrist? The ninja pondered as she waited for Reno's reply. Reno shook his head, "I dunno. I was waiting for you to figure it out." He just waited for Yuffie to pay the man so they could go get something to eat and maybe check out some other places.

She quickly paid the man and started to slide the daggers down parts of her clothing where she could quickly grab and throw them at her poor target or targets. Leading the way to the food store Yuffie swung the bag and her hips in rhythm, she had a song playing through her head and she couldn't stop it. "So what do you want to eat?" Yuffie asked the Turk.

Reno smiled at the man working there and exited the small shop without uttering a word. He simply walked behind Yuffie and watched as she walked. "I don't really care. You choose." He shrugged his shoulders. Reno watched the bats as they soared through the air. "You know I'm going to pick the weirdest things that I like and you're going to not eat them because you think they're gross and such. Then you'll starve. Plus it won't be my fault." The ninja explained. She loved eating weird things when she had the chance. Other's nearly hurled at the sight of her eating such random combos.

"Well, I'm not really that hungry so it doesn't matter to me." Reno could honestly say that Yuffie indeed ate the weirdest food known to man... and several known to chocobo. "Besides, I never use the word gross." Reno watched as a rather large dog-like creature jumped up and ate the head of one of the bats he had been watching. "Fine then I'm going to get something to eat now and some stuff to munch on for the trip home." Yuffie replied as she walked into the store, she grabbed the first weird thing that caught her eye and some normal food like potato chips. "You want any kind of junk-food?"

Reno decided to sit on the bench outside instead of following her in. "Sure, you know what I like." Reno hadn't noticed the ghost dog at his feet at this point. He looked back to the sky and then leaned his head back against the building. Suddenly a bark broke his thoughts. "What the?" He looked down and found Zero at his feet.

Yuffie of course didn't know what he liked, so she just grabbed some twizlers, plus drinks. Normal drinks of course, no beer sadly. She walked out with her bag and smiled at Reno, "So, you want a snack?" She bit into her new weird snack, "Or wander around a bit?" Reno had been playing fetch with the strange ghost dog with the insanely bright nose. "Um... No, I'm good." Reno stood up and brushed himself off. "Well, I would normally say yes, but I think it's best if we get going." Reno had something up his sleeve. Yes, Sora said it was imperative that they get back to Traverse Town, but he never said they couldn't make one more stop on the way.

Yuffie blinked and stretched, oh well if Reno wanted to go that's fine with her. "Hokay then, back to the Gummy Ship then!" The ninja chirped as she bounded off towards the ship, she got in first and opened a can of pop as she sat down in the comfy chair. "So back to Traverse Town then?" She questioned as Reno entered the ship.

Reno had followed closely behind her and then proceeded to work the controls. They soon sped off without notice. Reno put in the coordinates and simply nodded, "Of course." Reno smiled and hoped Yuffie would be ok with the pit-stop when they got there. "Would you open a soda for me? I just need to check something real quick."

She leaned back and opened a soda for him, then handed it to him smirking. "Trust me. I didn't put anything in there." She was joking of course, but normally she would have put something in there. Like salt, or pepper, maybe even a bug, but now she had nothing. So he was spared for now. "So what-cha checking?" Yuffie asked as she continued to lean back farther and father in the chair.

Reno gladly took the soda, "Really? Awww, no date rape drugs for me." He laughed at the joke and then thought quickly. "I had to check the fuel gage to make sure we had enough to get to Traverse Town." Reno laid on his back and stared absent-minded at the ceiling. Yuffie choked while laughing at Reno. "It wouldn't be rape for you Reno." Oh she was laughing hard now. "So," gasping between breaths, "Do we have enough fuel for the trip home or no?" She waved her hand in front of his face trying to see if his brain was there or not.

Reno loved her laugh, and it was such a contagious intoxicating laugh at that. "True, but that's just the term they use." Reno knew far too much about horrible suggestive things for his own good. "Of course we do." As she stuck her hand in front of his face he licked it. The two of them were rapidly approaching their next destination. "EW!" Yuffie yelped as he licked her hand. She then proceeded to wipe her hand off against his shoulder making a face while she was at it. "Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew." She groaned, then she stuck out her tongue at Reno. Yuffie crossed her arms and looked out of the window, "Hey. Where's this?"

Reno burst out laughing. "You didn't protest so much when it was on your neck!" Reno got up from the floor and looked out the window. Yep, just like he planned. "Um... I guess I put in the wrong coordinates. Well, let's go look around." Reno knew exactly where they were...the sand gave it away.

Yuffie looked at the sand, "What the hell? You soooo didn't put in the wrong coordinates, you planned to come here didn't you?" The great ninja hated sand, it got freakin' EVERYWHERE. Everywhere. Not to mention she saw some girls walking around in pretty colorful outfits. But that didn't help with her hatred of the sand. "I swear, I didn't plan a thing!" He held up his hands in surrender. "Well, I think we best go take a look around." Reno looked at his vampire attire. "Do you think we should change first though?" He looked out at the sand and the large gates not too far from the ship.

Yuffie glared at him, but yes they did look kind of out of place. "Sure, we should change, but you're leading the way Mr. Lair." She growled taking off her fangs. Reno quickly stripped of his vampire outfit and removed the fangs from his teeth. He quickly proceeded to get dressed and then took out the red and white contacts. Reno was so glad he had gotten a second pair for a later day when he might use the costume again. "Ok, I'll lead, but I'm not a liar." Reno spun in the chair as he waited for Yuffie to be ready.

Yuffie quickly switched into her dress, since she had nothing better. Except her PJs, but she didn't want to get sand stuck in them. She swirled around in her chair several times before she stopped and headed out of the ship, she was a little dizzy, but nothing too bad.

Reno hoisted himself up from the chair and went outside. "This way." The two of them trekked to the large doors and fortunately there was no one guarding it. Reno pushed one of the large doors open and a huge street market crashed into view. "Can you honestly tell me that you're still mad at me now?" He looked at her innocently, or as close he could get. "Yes I'm still mad. But not as mad." Yuffie smirked. Pockets galore, that where heavy with munny or gil or something that was worth something. Quickly she started to move through the crowd to a clothing shop, picking several pockets professionally along the way. The shopkeepers started to try and lure her over to their stall to buy their wares, but she knew better.

"Ok, well it's at least an improvement." Reno walked along the same way as Yuffie and admired the garments and other objects they sold. "Sir, would you like to buy one of our best?" Reno found the owner of the voice. It was a young woman with chocolate brown hair and pine green eyes. "What exactly do you sell?"

**OH SNAP..**

**OH SNAP!!**


	20. Another Outfit Change! Happy 20!

**HAPPY 20th CHAPTER! LETS PARTAHH!!**

**But on a more serious note, not really, schools starting. (BOOO!) BUT!! That means our Anime Convention is closing in. (Not really it's in May) If we could we would love to wander around and have people tackle us for writing this fic. That would be fun. But an online tackle-glomp would work too. **

**Hopefully during the school year BB and I will be able to pump out chapters at the same rate we are, maybe... DON'T LYNCH US! Hides behind kitty**

**Disclaimer: I STILL DON'T OWN THE WORLD SO I CAN MAKE SCHOOL DISAPPEAR. NOR DO I OWN THESE CHARACTERS, OR MADE UP WORDS.. Maybe the plot... Maybe some of the funny ideas... Maybe not.. I DUN'T WANNA BE EMO! Cries**

Yuffie quickly picked out a new outfit and went into a changing booth, quickly changed into her newly selected outfit. Stepping out she quickly searched the red head down and lightly jumped on his shoulder to look at what he was looking at. She was wearing a typical belly dancer outfit, this time it was a rich blue color, with gold trimming. "So what-cha looking at?" Yuffie's eyes where darting all over the place to look at random things.

Reno walked closer and looked at the vests and baggy pants. Then there was a perfect outfit that caught his eye. "What about that one?" The green eyed girl that had been talking to him raised one eyebrow. "That one. That one was especially hand made. Would you like to try it on?" Reno shrugged, "Sure." The green eyed girl smiled at him. "I only made one of these." Reno looked at her, "Really? Well, you must be an excellent seamstress..." The girl volunteered her name, "Laila." Yuffie launched herself onto his shoulders and he just smiled. "Hey, I was just looking at buying a new outfit."

"Oooh! That sounds like fun, I so want to see you in it!" Yuffie gently pushed him into the changing stall and waited outside looking at all of the other articles of clothing. She had seen other men wandering around with the kind of outfit Reno was trying. Yuffie pondered if he would look ridiculous or not. She was leaning towards the more ridiculous part.

"Um... this isn't me. I definitely need that one I was looking at just now." He had tried out one of the more plain ones so that he didn't take Laila's best garment. Laila smirked at him and only gave him the pants. "I need to fix something really quickly." Reno stepped into the dressing booth and tried on the pants. Yuffie laughed at Reno's outfit, it looking kind of funky on him. Laila stared at Yuffe, "So... do you know him well?" She fixed a stitch at the bottom. She spun around to face Laila smiling and jingling at the same time. "You can say that I know him well. We where enemies at first, then friends. Maybe more right now. But he's still an ass at times." She winked, grinning. The great ninja knew that the Turk was listening in.

Reno smiled as he laced up one side of the pants and then the other. He listened to the two women as they spoke. He listened to the light jingling of bells that he knew must be Yuffie. Reno chewed on the inside of his lip and gazed down at the pants. They truly were amazing.

Laila frowned, "Oh..." She paused as she cut the thread. "Are you two dating or something?" She held the garment up to the light. "If not, I wouldn't mind a date with him. Ass, or not he's still good looking." Laila took a sideways glance at Yuffie, "Besides, asses are challenges. I like a good challenge." She winked at Yuffie and waited for Reno to exit. Yuffie pondered, "Hmm. I don't think we're exactly dating but then again this huge adventure is almost a date in a sense. I mean he only arrive back home about two days ago and since then we've just been running around the place." She spun around now looking at the people walking by.

"You can date him after he buys me dinner, which hasn't happened yet. If you want a challenge you should try dating Vincent Valentine. Now that's a true challenge. The most I've gotten out of him is a spontaneous hug after a year." The ninja joked about her red gladden vampire friend. She looked up into the clear sky, wonder what's happening back at home. Liala grimaced, "Well, why don't I ask him and see what he thinks? He's not exactly married." She gave a look at the dressing room as Reno stepped out. She paid no mind to the rest of Yuffie's remarks. Laila had one focus, and that was Reno.

Reno was surprised at the forwardness of Laila's comments. She was pretty and all, but he just didn't seemed attracted to her. He laughed about Vincent to himself and then stepped out. He looked over at Laila and saw the jacket or was it a shirt? He wasn't sure. "Let me put it on you." Reno stood there indifferently as she helped him into the top. "Thanks. What do you think?" He searched for a mirror.

"Hmm. What I'm thinking." Yuffie spun around to look at Reno jingling all the while. She didn't care Laila ignored the last of her words, everyone did that, Cid mostly. "What I'm thinking is.." She paused looking him up and down, "Hot damn." This was the second time she was staring at Reno amazed that he was able to wear so many different outfits well. But this time he didn't have a reason to bite her neck, or act like a vampire again.

Laila smiled at him, she was simply beaming. "I love it, you look... pardon me for being forward, but...sexy." She showed him where she kept the full body mirror and watched as he walked toward it. Damn, now she was really glad that she had decided to make those pants.

Reno smiled at both of the women, "Thank you both for your..." he tried to find the right words. "...kind sentiments." He walked over to the full length mirror and stared at the outfit. It seemed tailor made for him. The pants were slightly longer than shorts and ended a bit past his knees. It was made of dark blue fabric and the sides laced up all the way to his hips. The black laces worked well with the color scheme the designer had in mind. Tons of intricate stitching all over the pants along with designs that stood out because of the fabrics that had been used. Regular cloth was joined with silk, velvets, and see through material for those designs.

She smile d and let Liala try her best, if she won, she won. If she didn't, she didn't and the great ninja would be watching. Distracted Yuffie noticed someone walking around with a rather large purse handing out on his belt. Oh how it was calling to Yuffie, just calling! Yuffie couldn't resist the call and casually disappeared from the group.

The top worked both as a jacket and a top. It was black with some light stitching and a small design over the left side where the wearer's heart would be. There was blue lacing up the sides of this as well. Even though the front was somewhat plain, but the back made up for it. There was a ton's of intricate stitching and the entire back was silk. It was perhaps the best piece of clothing Reno would ever own.

Yuffie prevented herself from becoming jealous. She knew that each hot male she hung out with will, of course, be hit on. Like all of her male buddies, including Cloud. Not to mention Reno is notorious of one night stands so she expected it to happen some time soon.

Yuffie carefully walked through the crowd blending in well, hurray for training, she thought. Slowly honing into the pouch she checked the victim once again; he stopped to look at some wares. She wouldn't steal all of it, just some. Like a professional she walked by, slipped her hand it, grabbed whatever was on the top and disappeared back into the crowd in one smooth movement.

Laila smiled and ran her hands over Reno's shoulders, "It fits you perfectly." She stood before him and undid some of the buttons from the top. "It looks better if you keep it like this." She was able to look at him better that way. "Also, leave the last one open." His abs stood out from underneath the cloth. "Now, do you wish to purchase this?"

Reno was getting annoyed with her advances, but if he squashed her hopes he might not get the outfit. He really liked what he was wearing, but it was awkward to watch Laila hit on him while Yuffie was there. Where had Yuffie gone to? "Yeah, I think I'll be taking this. How much?" Where had she run off to?

Yuffie smirked at her reward for training so long. For some reason that stupid man had a palm sized jewel sitting on the top of his purse, it was a rich green color. The ninja quickly hid it down at the bottom of her own purse as she walked back to the booth Reno was at.

Laila smiled, "Not much... only 1,2..." She paused and looked him in the eyes and hung her arms around his neck. "and a kiss." She batted her eyelashes at him and waited for his response. Laila was very persistent.

Arriving back the Great ninja just smiled, "Sorry I noticed something in one of the other stalls that caught my eye." She leaned up against the one of the many buildings around the bazaar waiting for Reno to finish.

Reno let out a large sigh and saw Yuffie, "Alright." He dug out the money and placed it in her hand. Reno ducked out from underneath her arms. "Where are you going?" He winked at Yuffie, "I'm sorry I forgot." Reno turned and kissed both of Laila's cheeks. "Maybe we'll see you again." Reno grabbed Yuffie's hand and went to go look at some more of the street market.

Yuffie was kind of surprised that Reno just... What's the word? Blew her off. The ninja mentally shrugged at it. "I dunno where I'm going seeing that you're leading. But when I did disappear, I swear, I was looking at a booth." The ninja reported as she jingled right behind Reno.

Reno stopped dragging Yuffie once they were out of sight of Laila. "Right, sorry about that." He looked at one booth quickly and saw they were selling exotic birds. "What kind of booth was it?" Reno tried not to bump into people as they walked.

Yuffie decided against her common sense to ask Reno a question, "So what do you think of Laila? She's pretty nice, personally." Afterwards she prayed that Reno wouldn't bite her head off. Or neck again.

"Laila... she's nice. Why do you ask?" He shifted his shoulders.

"A weapons booth what else?" Yuffie smiled as she spun around once again just for the fun of it. She gracefully moved between people, every once in awhile taking a few coins from someone. The ninja shrugged, "I dunno. Felt like asking. So anywhere else you want to go here?" She noticed that there was a fountain ahead, then a large palace.

"I should have known." Reno watched Yuffie spinning like a ballerina. The way she worked, her little quirks was just so incredible to him. Reno didn't know how she did it. "Ok. There is a really amazing stand near here that I heard about. Why not check it out?" Reno just stared at the fountain and the palace in the background. "Holy crap."

Yuffie was now interested. "A really amazing stand? I so want to see that!" She chirped now excited, she wonder what kind of goodies she would buy, or steal. The ninja started to look around for the stand but was distracted by Reno's 'Holy crap.'

"What's up Reno? What's holy?" Yuffie had to giggle at her stupid line.

"Yeah, they have all kinds of weird things to be sold."

"YAY! Weird things!" The great ninja adored weird things, even more if they're eatable. Reno continued to gape at the large palace only a few yards away. "Um... the palace is gigantic. We have to see it." Reno knew he couldn't help but wonder what a place like that held.

Yuffie looked back at the palace again; she grew up in one and didn't think much of it. "Yeah it's big; it's almost the same size as Wagtail's palace. I think. I doubt it really has much in there." She tried to remember how big it was, but it's been years since she's been home. Maybe more since of the stupid heartless and crap.

Reno liked weird things as well. Maybe not as much when it came to food, but he enjoyed an oddity or two. Reno had grown up in Mid gar, and had never had the pleasure of being inside such a large daunting building.

"Really? I didn't know that." "Yup. Palaces are pretty much for show. Nothing more." Yuffie replied as she waited for Reno to lead the way to the amazing booth. Reno shrugged and held out his arm jokingly. "To the stand?" He always joked around, it was simply his nature.

"To the stand of wonders!" She cheered jumping up a little bit.

"If you say so." Reno knew that Yuffie didn't really like talking about royal stuff. She didn't like talking about the lavish lifestyle that came with the Princess title. "Ok, this way." He weaved in and out of large crowds blocking the way and finally found a quaint little stand with odd things all over the place.

As soon as Yuffie saw the stall she instantly ran over and started to look at all of the weird things. Some of it looked like trash the person just picked up in the marketplace. There was jewelry, trash, some pickled stuff, and more random stuff that sparkled. Other customers where looking at the wares, and the owner was arguing with someone. That someone was the person Yuffie pick pocketed earlier, so the ninja paid him no attention.

Reno looked over at some of the things there. A pickled monkey's head? Nope, Reno would not be buying one those anytime soon. He looked over at Yuffie as she looked at the jewelry. "See anything you like?" He looked over at the bickering pair and then back at Yuffie. "Promise me you won't do that." Reno smiled warmly at the ninja.

Yuffie pouted, "Do what Turk? Argue with someone? When do I ever do that?" She batted her eyes at Reno with a straight face on. Which didn't last too long at all, she didn't really see anything she truly wanted, but there was some still pretty cool stuff. "I really don't see anything-" Something sparkling caught her eye. She leaned her head over the stand a little bit to see what it was. "You got to be kidding me." The ninja groaned. It was another key, but with less jewels encrusted into it.

**Ha ahahahaahaaa. Reno loves YUUUUFFFIIIEEE... Or her ass at least. Nyahhh! w Is shot**


	21. Ha ha ha I locked you out, eat that

**Nothing much to say. SCHOOL IS GOING TO KILL THIS... Not really.. Just slow it down.. Maybe... Eyetwitch**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.. Except the domo-kun energy drink staring at me.**

Reno narrowed his eyes at her, "Yes, and I can think of several instances... and the ones I'm thinking of aren't even the ones where you and I are wrestling on the floor." He cracked a smile and ran his fingers through his red locks. "Well, that's opportune. So do you want it or not?" He cocked his head to the right.

Yuffie rolled her eyes, yet another suggestion from Reno. "I try to keep my wrestling with you on the floor down to a minimum." She looked back at the key thinking. Thinking and thinking. Reno's smile quickly changed into a frown, "Who told you to do that? I like wrestling with you on the floor."

"No. I don't want it, last time I had a key encrusted with jewels in it we ended up being hunted down by Axel. So I'm going to leave this one alone. Now since we're done with this stall, any other plans going through that head of yours?" She reached up and poked his forehead, making a point.

Reno eyed the key as well, "I suppose your right... for once." Reno looked around, "Not really. What about you?" Reno narrowed his eyes at her as she poked his forehead, "Stop that." He grabbed her hand and swatted it from his face.

"Aww. Is little Reno having a fit." To make it worse she said it in a baby-voice. Jumping out of his reach, just in case, she pranced around bored. "Nope. I don't have any plans. No, we're going to wrestle with you on the floor of the gummy ship." She jumped on the edging of the fountain and started to walk around it. "Do you just want to head straight home and pray that someone doesn't rip our heads off when we get there?"

"No, and I'm not little..." He smirked and tackled her into the water. "in any way possible." Reno knew people were staring at them the entire time. Yuffie yelped as he tackled her into the slightly cold water. "Holy shit RENO!" She yelled angry now. Reno winced at her tone and volume. For such a small girl, she had one of the loudest voices.

"Aww no plans? That's sad." He looked around quickly to make sure that there was no one around who was prepared to arrest them. "What happened to keep it at a minimum?" Reno could hear people coming their way. "I think that's best. You aren't supposed to walk on the fountain, much less get tackled in it."

"You don't go running around tackling someone into a random fountain. Now we're going to get arrested." She growled trying to push him off of her and getting out of the fountain. Yuffie splashed him, grinning evilly, before running off towards the Gummy ship. She managed to get in there before he did and was closing the door on him.

He jumped out of the fountain after being splashed by Yuffie. He made wet sloshing noises as he followed after Yuffie. Reno was almost there, and then... door. "Open up Yuffie!"

"Nupe Reno! You're out of luck!" She chirped over the speaker. She quickly changed out of her wet clothing into her PJs, after covering the windows of course. Afterwards she look out of the window and waved at Reno smirking. Reno just sneered at the door. "Damn." As she waved at him he gave her the finger.

"Open up. There are worse things I could have done, ya know." Yuffie had to laugh out loud at the finger, so like Reno. The ninja couldn't stop laughing; oh it was just too much fun. Leaning back in her chair grinning she opened up a can of soda, oh how small revenge was sooo sweet. Reno watched her as she laughed at him. Laugh it up now sweetheart. You're so dead!

After awhile she would let Reno onto the ship, but she wanted to make him wait a bit. He gave up after a few minutes and simply sat down. She would let him in...eventually. Yuffie cared about him too much to abandon him... or so he hoped.

Reno's phone started to ring. She answered it and it was.. Vincent Freaking Valentine. "Hey Vin-vin!" She chirped spinning around in the chair and looking out at Reno sitting on the ground. "We're going to head straight back after Reno returns to the ship kay? See you later then!" She hung up, her fun and games where over now. He heard her talking to Vincent even through the door. Definitely the loudest girl he had ever met.

Pouting she finally opened the door, "Hey Reno! How was sitting in the sand?" When she opened the door he stood up and dusted himself off. "Not too bad." Reno got into the ship. "Oh, and you're dead."

She smirked, spinning around in the chair again, as she entered their next destination. "If I'm killed before we get back Vincent and Cloud are so going to have your head. Not to mention Tifa beating the crap out of you and maybe a smiting by Aerith! Now I would die for that." Yuffie spun again drinking soda this time around watching the slightly damp Reno. "You know you're going to catch a cold like that."

Reno knew exactly what to do. "Well I can't kill you. I broke both my arms." He was going to work this right. "I can't get out of my clothes without possibly worsening the damage. Reno gave her one of the best sad puppy dog looks ever. "Help me."

Yuffie rolled her eyes, "You didn't break both of your arms. You big fat lair. I should set your butt on fire." She grinned, now that was an idea. His ass would match his hair! Win for Yuffie's mind. Ignoring Reno once again the ninja looked out of the window at the passing stars. "Personally Reno, I prefer you with your clothes on. So I won't help you."

Reno frowned, "How do you know that they aren't broken?" He decided to stop acting like an ass. "Fine, they aren't broken. Some girlfriend you are!" He rolled his eyes. Yuffie looked at him grinning, "Since when have we decided to be BF and GF? Haven't heard that news yet!" She was slowly cracking up now, she loved to annoy him. Reno winced; he hadn't meant to slip like that. "I dunno...Paris?" He wasn't sure how to get himself out of this one.

"Is that so? Hm... I guess your eyes getting wider, your face getting redder, and you just about having a heart attack is the way you show someone that you hate it when they take off their clothes." Reno began stripping and stood their in his boxers.

But payback was coming as soon as he started to strip. Yuffie covered her face with her hands, shaking her head back and forth like this wasn't happening. "Aww man Lady Luck you much really hate me now, don't you?" The ninja mumbled into her hands.

"I guess you hiding your eyes like that just means that your appalled at my nakedness." He stood behind her and pushed himself flush against her back. "You definitely hate me when I'm undressed, you're breathing heavy."

Yuffie started to curl up into the fetal position. This isn't happening. This isn't happening. THIS ISN'T FUCKING HAPPENING. GAWD DAMNIT. Why is that when he comes back everything ends up being a whirlwind? LADY LUCK YOU BITCH, I KNOW IT'S YOU ARIETH! The ninja screamed in her mind. "Wait. Paris? When in hell have you been to Paris?"

Reno watched her and his brow furrowed. He in turn sat down and pulled her into his lap. "Wow. I've never experienced hatred such as this." He laughed at her expense. "Um... never actually." Reno rested his chin in the crook of her neck.

"That's right Reno. Pure hatred." Yuffie snorted through her hands laughing. She just found all of this kind of funny, in a weird way. She rolled her head around and whacked into Reno's several times because she had nothing better to do. "HA! I was right, you've never been to Pari!" She removed one hand from her face and started to mess the Turk's hair up.

"Well who needs affection when I have blind hatred?" Reno rolled his eyes as Yuffie whacked into him. "You're going to hurt yourself if you're not careful." "Nope, never." As she messed with his hair he cringed. "Stop... stop it." Reno grabbed her hands and held them above her head. "Don't do that."

"Aww. Is Reno affectionate about his hair? That's cute." She looked up at him and grinned, evilly. "Shut up." He glared at Yuffie. "Maybe I should mess with it more!"

"No... you shouldn't." She disregarded his words. She slipped her hands through his and started to mess up his hair again, before trying to bound away out of his reach. Reno fixed his hair after she messed with it again. "Damn you!" He chased after her as the ship took off.

"You can't damn me! You're not Arieth!" Yuffie teased, Arieth will be the next ruler of the world and the ninja knew it. The great ninja didn't do so well when the ship took off, sending her off balance and into a chair. "Ooowie." She groaned rubbing her head.

"I can damn you all I want. You don't need to be Aerith to possess damnation powers." Reno watched as Yuffie toppled into the chair, "Oh shit." He walked over to her to see if she was alright. "You ok? I mean beside the fact that you might just get a bump on your head the size of Traverse Town." Reno got the first aid kit and sat in front of her.

Yuffie sighed, the fun was over now. "I'm fine. But do you have some ice in there? Plus it's not the size of Traverse Town." The ninja stated as she felt the slowly forming lump, it wasn't that big thankfully. But she did grin at Reno now, "So you're being Nurse Reno?!"

Reno looked up at her. "I just might." He found a small ice pack and handed it over to Yuffie. "Alright, just the size of Halloween town." Reno gave her a small comforting smile and packed up the first aid kit. "No... Dr. Reno. I'm PhD certified." He just smirked. "I may need you to strip to assess the damage." Reno held up one hand. "Don't argue with me. You are the patient and I am the doctor. So what I say goes."

Yuffie just stared at him holding the ice-pack, staring. "You are not going t o assess the damage. I am not stripping. You're a horrible Doctor! I REFUSE!" The great ninja replied. She placed the ice-pack onto her lump and it felt much better, but it didn't help the fact Reno was playing doctor now. "I want a different doctor to look at me." Yuffie pouted.

"Aww... you ruined my fun." Reno gave her the best sad look he could muster. "Ouch, you hurt my feelings." He put a hand over his heart. Reno tossed the first aid kit over to the side. "Would you prefer doctor Demyx to look at you?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

Yuffie rolled her eyes, "Doctor Demyx is currently on the floor of our old jail cell knocked out. Besides I didn't hurt your feelings you're a doctor after all ." She smirked, she had no idea where this was going, but she was going to go for the ride. Yuffie grabbed the bag of twizlers and opened them up offering Reno one, "See. I'm being nice."

Reno chuckled, "I guess no one will be paging Doctor Demyx anytime soon." Reno took one of the twizlers from Yuffie, "I suppose you didn't hurt my feelings." He bit2into it and looked over at Yuffie, "Yeah..." he muttered the last pert to himself. "...for once."

Yuffie crossed her legs and looked out of the window at the stars. "So... What happened to you after the heartless attacked?" The ninja asked everyone else once they arrived and everything was different each time. Even hers was different too, very different.

Reno rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Well... all of us Turks were scattered all over the place. Rude and I landed in different worlds. I found myself in a pretty run down world. It was basically all ruins... kind of like the slums in Midgar." Reno didn't exactly like talking about the slums, and what happened after their world was lost. Reno just stopped abruptly, and looked down at his feet. He hated that he used to be a slum rat.

Yuffie felt the depression flowing off of Reno. "Hokay, bad topic to talk about. Change of topic!" She ripped another twizler in half and started to munch on it. "So, do you want to hear the trick that I played on Rufus and Reeve with Cait Sith? It's pretty priceless!" She chirped trying to cheer up the mood. She hated anything that made people emo, or sad in general.

**SchoooooooooOOooolll... Has genderless emos... Seriously.**


	22. Itching Powder and Exploding Cait Sith!

**I WANT TWIZLERS. BUT I'M BROKE. WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... AH... DON'T SHOOT ME!**

**Disclaimer: Nupe. I don't own twizlers. If I did, I would be fat. REALLY FAT. I hate you america. You make me fat. Plus I WOULD LOVE TO OWN Internet explorer so I can shoot it's freaking brains out on.. Loading our RP so GODDAMN SLOW. Stupid internet and computer. ... I'm GOING TO SHOOT SOMEONE. Oh, I don't own a gun either, only paintball. Damnit. I'm emo.**

Reno stole another twizler, "No, I didn't hear about it. Care to share?" His mood changed at the mention of a good joke. Reno normally was all smiles, but when it came to his childhood his smile disappeared.

"Well basically I reprogrammed Cait Sith. So instead of what Reeve told it to do, I did. So I just instructed Cait Sith to wake Reeve up at three A.M. Plus wash Rufus' clothes with itching powder, and a stink bomb. Both of them wanted to kill me, so I had to make Cait Sith explode while I ran away. Still owe Reeve a lot of mulah." Reaching over the side again Yuffie grabbed a soda and threw Reno one, if he didn't want it too bad for him. "So any crazy adventures you wish to enlighten me on? Anything funny?"

Reno burst out laughing. "Holy shit Yuf. If only I had been there." Reno's sides began to hurt him from his laughing. Reno opened the soda quickly and took a large sip. "Not much really, I spent most of my time working for Rufus and going on missions with Rude. Not too much funny things happened." Reno took another large gulp of his drink. "The only fun I've had in a long time has been with you."

"Aww. That's no fun. You should try to get Rude drunk that's what. Or Cloud, or Vincent." Yuffie started to name off people they should try to get drunk one day. There was a huge list of people including Rufus. She looked over to the nav system just to make sure that they where on course. "Looks like we're going to get back pretty soon. About five hours."

Reno shook his head, "We will definitely have to get Rude and Vincent drunk." Reno tried not to smile. "You know... Cloud once kissed me when he was drunk. It was awkward to say the least." Reno sighed, "Five hours hu? What in the hell are we going to do with five hours."

Yuffie stared at Reno like he was crazy, or had some heads popping out of his shoulders. "Cloud was drunk?" She laughed, but it was kind of strained since Yuffie has never seen cloud drunk. EVER. Not to mention what was going through his head when he was kissing Reno? The ninja mentally shuddered at the though, oh how Tifa would beat his ass. Now back to the five hours left in a gummy ship. "Umm. We could play scrabble." Yuffie offered.

Reno wasn't sure what to make of the look Yuffie was giving him. "Yeah he was, and he was all hands if you know what I mean." Reno remembered that night quiet vividly. Thank god Tifa hadn't seen them. "Scrabble?" Reno thought about it and then shrugged. "Ok."

Yuffie didn't want to know what Reno meant. So she just ignored whatever Reno said. "Yeah! Scrabble!" She then looked around, "But we don't have any pieces.. or a board.." The ninja leaned back, having no idea what to do. "Umm... I don't have anything once again."

Reno put one hand over his eyes, "Nice." Reno once again had to figure out what to do. "Ok. I'm thinking of a four letter word. What is it?" This would have to suffice seeing as Scrabble was out of the question right now.

"Hmm. Four letters?" Yuffie thought of something fun, more or less pure evil for Reno. "Butt?" Was the first thing that came to her mind, she had to laugh at how immature she was. Plus her plans for later. "Arse? Horns? Less? Tifa? Rude? Umm.."

Reno just tried to keep a straight face as she spoke. It was so hard to do as the words she used caused his thoughts to string together a very odd thought. "While all of those are great... they're all wrong."

She leaned her head back and to the side thinking. "Send? News? Knew? Form? Game? Play? Leet? Cool? Girl? Legs? Arms? Kids? Hint?" Yuffie tried her best to think as many normal words as possible.

Reno just smirked, "Nope, all of those are wrong. I'll give you a clue, it ends in s." He kind of liked watching her struggle to figure out what he could be thinking. Reno would have laughed if it weren't for the fact that Yuffie made cute faces when she was deep in thought.

Yuffie continued to think, and think and think. Sooner or later her brain might explode. "Sets? Pets? Nets? Rats? Teas? Ills? Opps? Sass? Pies?" She prayed that one of them was right. Com'on Arieth help me out here! The great ninja thought.

Reno just shook his head again, and this time a laugh floated from his lips. "No, but I'll give you another clue. The second to last letter is also s." Reno waited for the second onslaught of words from the ninja.

Yuffie groaned she wasn't good at this kind of game. "Ss? well this is hard. Umm." She looked up at the ceiling for answers, but it gave her none in return. "Pass? Boss? Moss? Sauce? No just kidding. Uh.. Hiss? Kiss?"

Reno thought she would never get to it. He reached over and kissed her quickly. "You got it Princess. Your turn." Reno waited for his own chance to guess whatever word Yuffie would come up with. He drummed his fingers lightly on the floor.

The ninja had to laugh out loud. So li ke Reno, le sigh. "Hokay. I'm thinking of a word.. It is also four letters long. Start guessing!" She chirped, she took another bite of twizlers and a swig of soda to wash them down.

Reno looked down at the floor and rattled off a list of words. "Ok... glue, kite, rats, dogs, cloud, vans, bike, ship, hugs, lick, suck, bite, and fuck." Reno didn't realize how far in the gutter his mind was until he thought about what he had just said.

Yuffie was laughing so hard right now. "Oh Reno, your mind is gone. Really down in the drain. Hint number one! It ends with a 'Y'. Good luck!" She waited to hear what else Reno was thinking off.

Reno just shrugged and gave her a lopsided smile. "Happens to the best of people." He tipped his head back and looked at the ceiling. "Play, clay, stay, fray, gray, many, and tray." This time Reno was keeping his thoughts in check.

"No, no, nupe, zero, nadda. Hokay." Yuffie smiled again, Reno was having some self control issues. Lets see how long this can last. "Hint number TWO! It starts with a S." Another twizler was devoured by the ninja.

Reno tried to think of another long list of words. "Slay, sway... and shay." He was running out of ideas. Reno took another twizler and took a long drink of his soda.

Slowly munching on one twizler that was hanging out of her mouth Yuffie asked Reno the popular question. "Do you want another hint or just let you think for a bit? Either way I'm telling you a hint. It has an X in it."

Reno should have known. Why on earth hadn't he thought of it sooner? "Alright, thanks for the hint. Your word is sexy." Reno bit into the twizler angry that he had been so dense as to forget that word.

"Aww don't take it out on the twizler!" Yuffie groaned, "Poor twizler. Well that wasted.. What? Six minutes?" Thee ninja calculated the amount in her head, "Only a lot more time left to waste. So you want to continue this guessing game?"

Reno just glared at her. "Well if I can't take it out on the twizler who should I take it out on? If I took it out on you... I doubt you could handle such frustration that had been transferred over sexually." His grin grew considerably as he continued on. "How bout we play... strip poker." Reno took a deck of playing cards out of his pocket.

Yuffie laughed, "Oh man. I think I'll have to take you up on that deal, since we have nothing else to do." She opened up another can of soda and took a sip, and smirked. "If you have such frustrations pent up you better go to an anger management class once we get back."

Reno slid the deck out of the pack and started dealing. Reno glared at her comment. "Fat chance Princess. I'll raise you... a sock."

Yuffie looked at her cards carefully , just to make sure Reno didn't see anything. "Hmm.. I'll raise you two socks." She grinned at Reno.

"Hold on. I should get to put some clothes back on. Otherwise you have an unfair advantage." He grinned back at her. "If I do... I raise you one shirt."

Yuffie groaned. She hoped that he wouldn't notice that, but no luck on her side, once again. "Fine, I call. Go get your clothes on."

Reno noticed her groan as he started to put his clothes back on. He didn't say anything and just continued to smile. "Alright what do you have there Princess?" Reno kept his poker face as he anticipated her cards.

Yuffie flipped her cards, two tens and three jacks. "Full house. You?" She grinned; pretty sure that she won this round.

Reno smirked and revealed his cards. "Four of a kind Princess. Oh... and since you raised a shirt I would love to know how you plan on doing that when you're in a dress." Reno had a shit eating grin plastered to his features. "How bout another game?" Reno waited for his private strip show to begin.

**Cue Stripping Songs and fainting fangirls/boys.**


	23. Clothes, Clothes BABY!

**HEY HEY HEY! We're back and it's the school year! Throws rotten tomatoes **

**So yeah.. Sorry about the slow updates. Flaming pitchforks appear**

**Shiiiittt...**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THIS. OR THE IMMORTALITY SPELL!! Cries**

"Hey hey. I'm wearing my PJs, don't place them with the dress." Yuffie pointed at her outfit, she was wearing her PJs, they where nice and soft too. "Besides my full house beats your little four of a kind. But if you want to switch to a different game, blackjack is fine with me." She leaned back smirking.

"My bad... just wishful thinking." Reno shook his head, "Nope, you're wrong. Four of a kind beats a full house." Reno shrugged, "Whatever is fine. I don't care what the game is as long as it has the word strip in front of it." He returned the smirk.

"Fuck." Yuffie growled. She had to remove her shirt, which she did while glaring at Reno. She hated being beaten at any game. She couldn't cheat this time since well... She didn't have any marked cards. So she sat there in her bra glaring at Reno, who was probably enjoying every second.

Reno just smiled as Yuffie continued to glare at him. Reno tried to concentrate on dealing instead of how funny it was that Yuffie was glaring at him without a shirt. "Alright, I will raise you one shirt... which in your case will probably be pants."

"All right. I'll call that then. One shirt for you pants for me." She prayed that she would win this time. Maybe lady luck would be nice this time, maybe.

Reno glanced at his cards and then up at Yuffie, "I raise you pants." Reno felt pretty confident about his hand.

"I call that. Show your hand." This time she had four of a kind, so lady luck was being nice this time.

Reno glared at his cards as Yuffie relieved her hand. He too had four of a kind but her card value was higher than his. Reno stripped off his shirt and his pants. He sat there and dealt a new hand in his boxers and his socks. "Alright. I will bet socks."

Yuffie grinned. She had won this round, so she did a little victory dance in her head. "Both socks? If so I ca ll." She didn't have that great of a hand, but it might work out in the end.

Reno smirked, "Both socks. Which means you would be lighter one pair of pants." Reno simply waited for her reply as he took another drink of his soda.

Yuffie pondered over this, but not for long. "Done then. Flip your cards." Her hand was a two-pair.

Reno smirked. "Full house." Reno watched as Yuffie prepared to take off her pants. "You know, if this was the fastest way to get you out of your clothes I would have played poker with you sooner."

"Fuck." The ninja swore, loosing wasn't in her vocabulary. So she stripped her pants off and threw on top of her shirt. "Ha ha Reno. Don't get used to it. Just deal."

Reno dealt the cards and softly chuckled to himself. "Alright, this hand I'm all in how about you Princess?" Reno's eyes yelled devious if anything. "I'll try not to get used to you like this... I'll get used to you in a whole lot less."

Yuffie groaned while rolling her eyes. "I'll make sure to punch your lights out one day. I concur, all or nothing." She slowly raised and looked at her cards; she kept a straight face and waited.

Reno rolled his eyes at her comment. "Yeah... one day? I'd like to see that." Reno definitely could keep a poker face. He after all didn't solely rely on the pay checks of Rufus. "Flip."

Yuffie hesitated, she was afraid of loosing, not to mention stripping all the way. She flipped her cards, closed her eyes expecting the worse to come. "Full house for me."

Reno smirked. "Start stripping Princess." He flipped his cards, "A royal flush!" Reno wasn't sure what she was going to do now that she had just lost. He simply hoped she didn't beat the shit out of him.

Yuffie groaned in frustration, The Great Ninja of Wutai had lost a simple card game! _Not to mention the royal flush! LADY LUCK YOU BITCH!!_ The ninja wanted her revenge on lady luck. To vent her anger she grabbed her socks and threw them at Reno. Landing straight on his face, she crossed her arms and glared. She wasn't going to strip.

Reno peeled the socks from his eyes. "You can't back out of this. You have to strip. It's not strip poker because if we loose we keep our clothes on." Reno stood in front of her and looked down at her. "Come on. You lost be a good sport for once. Just be glad it's only me here."

Yuffie looked up at him and didn't reply back; instead she turned her head and ignored him. She made a mental note to never play strip-poker unless she had a deck of marked cards, or the advantage over everyone else.

Reno turned so Yuffie was facing him. "Come on. It's just me, not a million other people. Would it make you feel better if I stripped with you?" Reno was trying to get Yuffie to be a good sport, and so far all his attempts failed.

The ninja did another face-palm, "No it would not be better if you stripped." She really wondered why in hell she even thought this was a good idea.

Reno just nodded vigorously, "Ok, I get it no stripping for me." Reno just looked at the poor conflicted ninja.

"Come on Yuff. I wouldn't say anything to anyone if you did."

She looked at Reno, "I don't trust you on that. Especially when you're drunk. Besides, I'm not going to strip any farther. Unless you force me to." _Oopsie_ Yuffie thought, she just gave the Turk an idea.

Reno just shook his head, "I don't get loose lips when I'm drunk." Yuffie smirked, "Oh yes you do."

Her words resounded through his ears. "Force? If I must." He tackled Yuffie to the floor. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way you sore loser."

But her grin disappeared when Reno tackled her, "Yup. I'm a sore looser, but I won't go down easy!" She flipped Reno over and scrambled for her clothes.

Reno caught her foot as she ran off. He pulled her onto him and smiled. "Come on. You think I go down easy either?" Reno flipped and pinned Yuffie down. There was no way to escape now.

"Of course I did." She replied while she was flipped. Yuffie did everything in her book to escape from under Reno. Nothing much really worked, she was really pinned down. She growled frustrated now, _the great ninja will not go down like this_!

Reno just looked down at her and then just narrowed his eyes. "Well you thought wrong." Reno bent his head down and kissed her. He remained on guard however despite the fact he was somewhat... distracted.

Yuffie seized the only chance she had, which was all in her head of course. She bit Reno's hair and grinned in what little victory she had. When Reno had stopped kissing her he certainly didn't expect to have her chomp down on his hair. Still holding onto Reno's hair she tried to wiggle out from under him. The ninja couldn't help but notice that he had pretty smooth skin for a guy.

Reno grit his teeth as she had a handful of his hair. Her wiggling, if she didn't stop wiggling they would certainly have another problem on their hands. "Stop that."

"Never!" Yuffie chirped between her teeth and Reno's hair. To keep with her promise she struggled harder, which didn't do much at all. Except aggravate the Turk a little more, but she did that all the time so it didn't phase her one bit. The ninja was having too much fun annoying him.

Reno just threw his hands up. "Fine I give up! I'm not talking to you the rest of the ride there." He was acting like a five year old, but he didn't care. Reno just was sick of Yuffie and her stubbornness.

The ninja rolled over and looked at him. "Well that was interesting." She muttered. This was the first time he just gave up, usually he would keep going until someone stopped him or he won. She leaned o n her arms looking at Reno with a silly little face on, she temporarily forgot about putting some clothes on.

**Note: It took us a WHOLE week to send two replies. OK.**

**AP kid here, not a good combo. HOKAY. PLEASE DON'T KILL US!! Hides as more flaming pitchforks appear**


	24. Never OD on Twizlers, bad trips man

**I wish I could control time or something along those lines.**

**I bet you guys wish you could control how often we update...**

**NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! HAHAHAA!**

**Is shanked**

**Oh crap.**

**Dies**

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own god mode, or this.**

Reno glared angrily at the wall as he downed the last of his soda. He stole the last twizler and bit into it. Freaking Yuffie. He got up to see how much longer they had till they hit Traverse Town. Two freaking hours, that was absolutely insane.

The ninja continued to lay on the floor watching Reno, she had never seen him this pissed off before. Not to mention he was taking his anger out on the poor twizler again, poor, poor twizler. She pondered on what she should do to cheer him up, she hated bad mood swings, and Tifa was scarring enough. Yuffie rocked her head back and forth thinking of what to do, oh what to do.

Reno sat down in one of the chairs and then fell asleep. He was blissfully unaware of what Yuffie was doing. He just let himself fall into his dream. _Reno walked home from work and rang the doorbell of a two story home. The door opened and two little red headed children attacked his legs. There were shouts of "Daddy come play with us." and "Daddy will you fix my toy." Dream Reno simply walked by and told them, "Later." He walked into the kitchen and found an older, pregnant Yuffie staring at him. _Reno was startled awake; a pregnant Yuffie can do that to a person. Reno stole a glance at Yuffie and sighed. If he had that dream again he would just beat his head against the wall.

Yuffie stared at him highly confused at the fact that he fell asleep, second what the hell was coming out of his mouth. Then the last bit was Reno startling awake, nearly falling out of his chair as Yuffie was putting her shirt back on. She had slipped into the lingerie since her normal underwear was still damp and it was annoying her. So with her shirt half on, no pants she stared at Reno while he sighed and looked away, the ninja looked around the ship for a second then finished putting her shirt on. _Ooohh kay... _Yuffie thought, trying to keep her mind from wandering too far on what Reno muttered while he was asleep.

Reno sat up with a jolt and then lay back down. Soon enough he was drifting back asleep. _There he was dressed in a tux with Rude and Cloud patting him on the back. "Your really lucky, and just remember to be good to her." Dream him just smiled and all three men along with Vincent took their places in a large church. There was a priest and a old woman playing the organ._

_The dream continued on and soon the music began to play. Soon the bridesmaids came down the aisle and then Tifa gave him a wink. What the hell? Then everyone stood up as the bride came down the aisle. She was pretty, whoever she was. Her face was completely covered by the massive veil. As she reached the alter Reno tensed up. The priest began talking. "Do you take Reno to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold till death do you part?" The woman under the veil spoke, "I do." Her voice was familiar but he couldn't place it. "Do you take...?" The organ covered the priest's words. "to have and to hold till death do you part?" He nodded, "I do." The priest and everyone else smiled, "You may now kiss the bride." Reno lifted the veil to find... Yuffie. _Reno almost toppled out of his chair as he awoke.

Yuffie watched him again with a confused look on her face, she had no idea what in hell Reno was thinking or dreaming. It was only about five minutes since he fell asleep again with more muttering. She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her soda; they still had over an hour of nothing to do until they arrived. That was if the ship's timer was correct, which she prayed that it was. The ninja sighed walked over the still drowsy Reno in just her PJ shirt and asked, "Hokay Reno. You've been muttering some random stuff and waking up like someone just stabbed you in the ass. What are you dreaming about?"

**In Seventh Heaven**

"But TIFA!" Cloud wined. He didn't like her idea.

"GODDAMNIT CLOUD! I want Yuffie to finally have a fucking boyfriend that will last! That she isn't using just to get some gil or materia. She twenty-one and a virgin damnit!" Tifa growled at Cloud. Cloud wish he didn't hear that last bit of information, so he just sat there blank look on his face ignoring the small facts. First the warking now this?

"Tifa.. I don't think Reno and Yuffie should be together." Cloud whispered afraid of Tifa's wrath, it came.

"So? At least Reno is keeping her entertained and off of our backs, unlike Vincent! That stupid emo mother fucker can't get over some dead bitch that back-stabbed him for one hell of an ugly bastard! Who made the evil gay-wad that we had to kill SEVERAL times." The barmaid started to rant away on the other side of the bar. It was closed and only her and Cloud where inside.

Cloud sighed he didn't want to give in. "So you want to lock Yuffie and Reno up in a house that's located in the middle of nowhere for how long?"

**On the Gummi Ship...**

Reno looked at Yuffie. Just plain Yuffie, not pregnant and not bridal, Yuffie. Reno could have hugged her if it were not for the fact that he just landed on his ass. He had to lie. If he told Yuffie what he had been dreaming of... well he didn't want to know how she would react. "Um... just battles and stuff. The usual Turk stuff." He tried to make it sound as convincing as possible. "So how much longer till we get back to Traverse Town?"

Yuffie looked down at him rolling her eyes, he was lying but she didn't press it any further. "Well we have over an hour to go, maybe more. Maybe less." She answered his question, holding up her PJ bottoms. They had a hole in one of the pant legs. Reno groaned, "Another freaking hour? You have to be kidding me." He looked at the controls. "Well, everything is as it should be."

"Aww, I'll have to sew that up when we get back." The ninja groaned, she hated sewing, but these where her favorite Pjs. Reno looked at Yuffie's PJ bottoms, "Well that sucks." Reno again looked at the controls. "Yes!" He smiled as he pushed the button. "This will cut our time in more than half. We will be there in about fifteen minutes." Reno sat down in his chair and spun around once. "I am a genius."

Yuffie slid into her PJ bottoms and looked back at the controls. The n back outside to the stars then a double take once again. "Reno.. That was a bad idea." She whispered afraid that he would explode or something. "We're a ticking time bomb right now. But we're going to get to Traverse Town in fifteen minutes, and explode." The ninja pointed at the screen on the control panel which was red, flashing and counting down, while the engines sped up.

**Elsewhere.. **

"BOO YEAH!" Axel cheered jumping up in the air, he had just confused Reno's thoughts. Now he would have his revenge this time.

"REVENGE IS FREAKING SWEET BITCH!"

"Axel..." Xemnas growled.

"Oh shit." Axel whispered.

"Where are the two prisoners?"

"Uhhh..."

"...They escaped didn't they?" Axel nodded afraid of Xemnas' wrath, which didn't come yet. He sighed and turned away ordering, "You are to bring either one of them back. Doesn't matter. You have two days, starting now."

**Once again back on the new flying bomb...**

Reno growled, "Damn it Axel!" Reno had to think quickly, "Ok is there any kind of pond or lake or...something around in Traverse Town?" Reno tried to figure out a plan. "Axel you asshole, I will kick your ass you freaking bastard." Reno now would have to worry about his thoughts from now on.

Yuffie tried to think as she tried to fix the program. "Lake? Lake... POND! There's a small pond near Seventh Heaven. I used to throw Cloud's boxers in there. But it will be really pushing it on the counter." Nope, Yuffie couldn't fix it, nor stop it. It was already at five minutes left, oh how time passed quickly when you're about to die.

**Comes back as a zombie BRRAAIIINNNZZZZZZZ...**


	25. Never Touch a Keyboard BIG BOOM

**I kinda messed up and forgot a chapter... ;;; Oopsie.**

**I have nothing to say.**

**I lied.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything.. CURSES. **

Reno nodded, "Ok, now get everything important like the clothes and stuff them into one of the bags from the green lockers over there." Reno knew how to fly and crash things. That came with being a Turk. So crashing this ship into the pond near Seventh Heaven in five minutes wouldn't be a problem. Reno just hoped that the pond was deep enough. "Hold on to whatever possible and wait till I say five. Got it?" Reno pushed in the proper controls so they would land directly in the middle of the pond.

Yuffie quickly grabbed everything and stuffed it into one large bag. She tied it around her waist and held on for the ride in her chair. "I do hope you know how to do a good crash landing!" The ninja really hated rough flights, and this one was going to be worse than Cid's flying.

They were two minutes from crashing and he could plainly see the pond in his sights. "Ok, get ready." Reno ran over to the side door and opened it. "Get your ass over here." Reno looked out the front as the pond grew closer. Yuffie quickly jumped up from her seat in the rocketing gummy ship. She grabbed the edge of the ship's door looking down at the water below, groaning. "Ok, on five jump." Reno sighed and looked down at the water below. "One, two, three, four... five."

This day was getting better and better by the hour. "This really, really.." She jumped, "SUCKS!" Without knowing it she grabbed Reno's hand before she leaped. Reno felt Yuffie grabbed his hand and the two of them landed not so gracefully into the pond. "No time for swimming, we have to get out of here now." Reno's hair was all in his face and he scrambled to get as far away from the pond as possible. He was almost dragging Yuffie behind him.

The ninja coughed up some water as she rose above the surface. "Aww, no time for skinny dipping?" She joked right before the Gummy Ship crashed into the pond sending a huge wave over the two of them. Yuffie continue to swim after the wave passed over them. The shore was in sight, oh how she was happy to be near real ground soon.

Reno too saw the shore in sight. As soon as his shoes hit the pavement he ran till his legs protested in pain. He knew by now that the timer was u p, and... BANG! The ship let out a massive explosion sending water into the air in a huge wave. The wave sent water rushing everywhere and caused Reno's feet to come out from underneath him.

Yuffie followed Renoas fast as she could her feet where also swept out from underneath her so she went flying. _Well this was going to be one hell of a thing to tell people. 'Hey Yuffie. Why are you soaked?' 'Well, I jumped from a Gummy ship that was a ticking time-bomb into a pond. Yeah. Nothing new at all.' _The water receded back into the pond or down the drain pipes. Once again she was on top of Reno, but this time only half of her was on him.

Reno too was now drenched with water as the two of them slightly skidded. Reno felt Yuffie on top of him. He let out a sigh and heard footsteps. "You alright Yuff?" Reno couldn't help his heavy breathing. He tipped his head back and saw Strife and Tifa. Now he really couldn't help his breathing. "I can explain... somehow."

Yuffie sighed, she was also breathing hard. She looked up also to see the duo, grinning. "Hey guys. I'm back. This is my new grand entrance with an exploding Gummy ship." The ninja yawned before falling asleep, she was so tired of all of this running around for their lives.

Reno wasn't sure what to do now. For one, he couldn't just push Yuffie off and just smile at the two. "Um... Yuffie, can you get up?" Reno wasn't sure what the two of them were thinking right now... he wasn't sure that he wanted to know anyway. He just hoped he wouldn't get beaten by them.

The ninja's only reply was a huge yawn. Tifa rolled her eyes and peeled the ninja off of Reno. "Aww. Poor Yuffie, hope you played nice with her Reno." Tifa winked at Reno and handed the knocked out ninja to Cloud. Who groaned and threw her over his shoulder with a loud squelch sound.

Reno was dumbfounded. Nobody was yelling at him, and Tifa wasn't yelling at him for getting the both of them in a great deal of trouble. "Um... I, did?" He said tentatively. This was all really strange to him. Reno slowly stood up and eyed the two of them. "So... what now?"

Tifa laughed as he stood up dripping wet, while Yuffie slowly soaked Cloud. "What now Reno is that we're going to get Yuffie into some dry clothes and a bed. You? I don't know what to do with you. You could tag along, if you want." Mr. Chocobo was already walking away with a dripping Yuffie, Tifa followed suit without waiting for Reno's answer.

Reno just glared at her back as she laughed at him. "Alright, I'll tag along." She obviously wasn't paying attention and he followed behind the two and looked at sopping wet Yuffie. How is it that she still looked good wet?

Tifa didn't bother replying as she followed Cloud to the Seventh Heaven, up the stairs and to Yuffie's room. She closed the door after Cloud deposited her on the bed, and went out. The ninja rolled over groaning, she was thrown onto the bed, instead of placed, so she woke up. "Hiya Tifa. What's going on?"

The barmaid rolled her eyes at the sleepy, drenched Yuffie. "You need to get out of your clothes into these." She pointed to some normal Yuffie clothes. "Then you can go to bed. Hokay?"

"Righto Beefa!" The ninja clumsily gave Tifa a salute when she left. Instead of changing Yuffie just slumped back and feel asleep. The brunette came back down the stairs with a shirtless Cloud behind her. He didn't have any clean shirts, since everything was in the washer.

"So Reno, what adventures did you have with Yuffie?" Tifa asked the Turk.

Reno had been waiting at the bottom of the stairs still soaked. He just shrugged, "Let's see. We got in trouble because my camera phone took highly suggestive pictures, and so Vincent and Cloud came after us. Then we hid in an old rundown inn and got attacked by Axel. Then we went to a hotel room above a bar and I was staring down the barrel of Valentine's gun when Axel shows up again. Vincent shot Axel, and bang... I get bullet holes.

We go to the huge ass Shinra building and then get attacked by Axel and taken to the nobody's hide out. We both snuck out because I had cleverly disguised myself as Axel of course. We hijacked a gummi ship and went to Halloween Town, and then to Agribah. After going to Agribah we high tailed it here and accidentally had the ship explode, and here we are." Reno hadn't had time to process all the shit they had been through. He let himself admit that if there was one person he wanted to get stuck with throughout all that... he was glad it was Yuffie.

"Well that sounds like a lot of fun. So it took about two days of running for your lives to finally tire the ninja out. We have to thank you, we haven't run into tricks for the past two day s. Which is nice." Tifa stated as she walked behind the bar and started to mix up Reno's favorite drink. Cloud sat in one of the leather chairs and opened up the newspaper flipping through it.

Yuffie woke up as she shivered, groaning she went into the shower. Stripped off her wet clothes and went into the warm shower. Coming out, she wrapped herself in an orange towel while drying her hair she looked out the window.

Reno just shrugged, "I don't think me fleeing for my life with Yuffie deserves thanks, but I'll take it." Reno to ok the drink from Tifa and took a large gulp. "So, what did you two do without Yuffie for two days?" Reno tried to keep his grin to himself, but it was had to contain.

"Oh Cloud and I did a lot of things. Like going out to a dinner, a nice movie. Not to mention there wasn't any itching powder on anything, or random items crammed into food items so when you bite into it you nearly chip your tooth." The barmaid wouldn't go any farther than that. Reno just smirked as he finished his drink. "Movies and dinner... I'll bet."

**"AAAAAAAH!!"**

Reno set his drink down exactly when he heard Yuffie shriek. "Oh, shit."

Tifa looked up at the ceiling. That was Yuffie of course, but what the hell happened? Cloud was already racing up the stairs with his sword in hand, which magically appeared of course, along with Tifa's leather gloves. Both of them raced upstairs to Yuffie's room and busted the door open. Reno looked toward where the screaming had originated from and dashed up the stairs after Strife.

**DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN**

**Is Axel back?**


	26. Master Chief is a PEEPING TOM! UHOH!

**B.B.: I ran out of downs.. Crap. Runs to Item store after posting up a sign**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, since one of the authors is dead and well. We sadly don't have the copyrights to the characters. Evil squeeix.**

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Yuffie screamed holding her towel as close to her body as she can. Vincent was in the widow looking at her, he was emotionless until she screamed, after that shock just plastered his face.

"THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU'VE SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME! LAST TIME I HAD SOME CLOTHESON GODDAMNIT!" The ninja continued to scream at the gunslinger with a sword wielding Chocobo and a super kung-fu fighting barmaid behind her. Yuffie turned around to see Cloud, Tifa and Reno standing there, she squeaked. Yuffie quickly turned around and hid in the bathroom, and locked the door.

Cloud walked out grumbling about how he hated all of the yelling that came with Yuffie. Vincent looked at Tifa, who just glared at him; he looked back at the bathroom door while the barmaid walked away.

Reno let a sigh of relief out and just shook his head. "Vincent, try not to scare the sh it out of Yuff here. We all thought Axel or something came in and tried to capture her." Reno was annoyed at the gunslinger and just followed Cloud and Tifa down the stairs. He couldn't help but smile, and wished that she had lost her grip on the towel.

Vincent just watched Reno leave without a single comment; he walked over to the bathroom door and knocked on it. "Yuffie."

"Damnit Vincent. You are not coming in here while I have no clothes." The ninja replied through the door. She had left her clothes on the bed and ground, which isn't the bathroom. The ninja looked in the mirror sighing, she would have to wait for Vincent to leave.

"Yuffie..."

"Vincent if you want to say something, say it. Or leave and let me get dressed, peacefully." Vincent didn't say anything but left, through the window. Yuffie rolled her eyes as she exited the bathroom, grabbed her clothes, retreated into the bathroom and quickly dressed herself. Running downstairs she hopped onto one of the spinning chairs and spun around several times before stopping grinning at Tifa who had a grilled cheese sandwich ready for her.

Reno could hear Yuffie from all the way down stairs. "So, we're still on the run... or so to speak. What do we do now?" Reno wasn't sure where things were going to take them. They had already been through half of Traverse Town, Agrabah, Halloween Town, Shinra Corp., and The Organization's headquarters. Reno eyed the sandwiches Tifa had laid out and smiled at the bar maid, "Can I get another beer Tifa?" At that moment Yuffie raced down the stairs.

"Sure Reno." Tifa poured him another beer as Yuffie started to chow down onto her sandwich. Cloud only glanced over at the three of them then back at his paper, Vincent was long gone.

"Well Cloud and I have been talking about that with Rufus and Reeve. Both of them suggest you should go in hiding. Sora knows a good place to hide you guys. So he'll be here tomorrow. So you two should pack everything you'll need for awhile. Cloud and I have some shopping to do." She grinned at Cloud, Yuffie snorted into her drink. She remembered when Tifa told him to go get oranges and he came back with watermelons. The same size of the barmaid's boobs. She rolled her eyes at the now choking ninja and waved at chocobo to get his warking ass moving.

"See you two later! Yuffie don't touch the alcohol!" Tifa chirped before she left with Cloud to go shopping. Yuffie finished choking on soda and stuck her tongue out at Tifa, "I'm twenty one!" Tifa didn't respond so Yuffie placed her plate in the sink and started to chug her drink.

Reno grabbed the beer from Tifa and listened as she explained the plan. "So basically, we have to hide out and not go out into public? Good luck." Reno eyed Cloud and Tifa as they got up to go shopping. Then Yuffie snorted. What the hell was that about? Obviously he would have to ask Yuffie about that latter. Reno chugged the last of his beer. "So now what Princess?"

"What now?" Yuffie sighed as she finished chugging; she threw the can over her shoulder into the garbage can without looking. "I'll tell you what I'm doing. First packing, then I'm going to check my email, Recharge my phone, add Sora's number into it, then play some video games. "She opened another can of soda, "Plus I'll tell you what you're not going to do. You're not going to help me pack; you're not going to go into my room. Also you're not going to touch anymore of the beer until Tifa comes back." The ninja grinned sipping her soda and headed upstairs to start packing.

Reno felt his hopes deflating with each word she spoke. "Aww, come on. That's no fun." Reno threw away his beer and then tilted his head back to sigh. "Ok, I will go pack too. I will also check my email and recharge my phone." Reno was going to ask if he could join her playing video games, but thought the better of it. "No more beer? Are you crazy?"

"Sorry Reno, but we're going to be stuck together for who knows how long. Yes, No more beer. Tifa will beat the shit out of me and you if you do." Yuffie yelled down the stairs, she continued to her room. Pulled out a huge suitcase that she used often if she was planning to go somewhere for long. She started to throw random clothing in, small throwing stars and many other things. Soon enough her suitcase was packed to the brim with clothing and mostly random items.

Yuffie's phone beeped telling her that it finished charging. She opened it up and sent a random text to Vincent just to annoy him, one to Reeve too. The ninja placed that in her pants as she went back downstairs to go on the computer. Turning it on and spinning around while it loaded, she grinned at Reno.

Reno didn't have much to pack. He had a few clothes that he had shoved into his suitcase, and then shoved other necessary items into the bottom. Reno hadn't really ever unpacked since he had decided to stay with Cloud and Tifa for awhile. Reno shoved his phone on the charger and sat atop the bar and let his feet dangle. "I suppose for once I will behave and do what Tif says." Reno watched as Yuffie spun absentmindedly in the chair. "Don't get dizzy."

Yuffie grabbed the table then her stomach. "Too late." She groaned, then the computer booted up. Ignoring her motion sickness she logged on and checked her mail. She quickly got everything finished and logged off. After two more spins she headed over to the T.V. and started to play some video games.

Leaning back and looking at Reno while she continued to play the game she grinned. "Reno behaving? Wow, that's a first also." On screen she managed to kill something with one shot to the head, and she still wasn't looking at the screen. Looking back at the screen she cheered, "Yeah! I am a real gaming ninja!"

Reno felt bad for Yuffie for a second... emphasis on second. She did bring it on herself after all. Reno sat down as Yuffie played her video game. "I know, it's the fifth sign of the apocalypse." Reno had to admit that she was pretty good at this game. "Watch it!" All of a sudden one creature launched itself at Yuffie. The screen turned black and in huge red letters 'try again' graced the screen.

Yuffie groaned as her character died, even though it was her fault for not paying attention to the enemies' locations. Oh well. The ninja handed the controller to Reno so he could play and Yuffie could bother him while he did it. Like whacking his head, or pulling his hair. Whatever the ninja could think of, sadly she didn't have anymore itching powder.

"Hokay Reno I hope you know how to play Halo." Yuffie grinned at the turkey.

Reno grabbed the controller and hit the restart button. "Of course I know how to play." Reno quickly began shooting his targets and hit each and every mark. "Don't touch the hair." He was no psychic, but you didn't have to be. Many people wanted to grab his hair, run their fingers through it, and mess it up.

"Too late." The ninja chirped again. Like Yuffie was going to listen to Reno, much less anyone else, not even Vincent Freakin' Valentine. She scooted behind him to mess up his hair more. After she messed his hair up she would straighten his hair and try to style it a different way. The ninja was having so much fun it might be illegal.

He got to the same part Yuffie had been at and shot at his new target before he ended up like Yuffie's character.

Reno let out a small exhale and then returned his attention back to the game. "I might have known." Reno found it hard to concentrate on the game as she continued to play with his hair. It was oddly wonderful. If the whole ninja thing didn't work out she could be a hair stylist.

She leaned over to the side to see what was happening on screen as she continued to play with Reno's hair. It was silky smooth which is kind of weird to say about a guy's hair. "Hey! You should turn up here!" She leaned up against Reno's back pointing over his shoulder to where he should go on screen.

Reno could feel her entirely on his back and just about got shot because of it. "Alright." Reno turned exactly as Yuffie had instructed and hoped that she hadn't given him crappy information so he would get killed. He loved that he fingers were in his hair. Not many people would think that the ninja had smooth and soft hands.

"See lookie! A sniper!" Yuffie chirped, grinning. She leaned back and started to braid his hair since she had nothing left to do. Unless she felt like going upstairs and grab some random hair stuff. The ninja didn't feel like it. So Yuffie continued to braid his hair, randomly.

Reno knew she was braiding his hair. He fucking knew. He let her do it anyway. Why? Well, she was pretty and her hands we kind of amazing, and well... he really didn't know. Reno shot the sniper and swore when he had to fire again. Either he was focusing far too much on Yuffie's hands in his hair or he was losing his touch.

"Wow Reno," Yuffie commented, "You're loosing your touch. Maybe you need more practice." She started to unbraided his hair knowing that he would look really, really weird if he walked around with braided hair. The ninja was wondering how long Tifa and Cloud where going to be gone, until her phone sang out.

"Ice, Ice, Baby!"

"Hey a text-y!" Yuffie chirped opening her phone it was from Cloud.

_Tifa and I are going out to a movie won't be back until late._

_No liquor._

"Damnit. He knows to much." The ninja growled at her phone.

"Me...more practice? Never." Reno listened idly as she read the text. "So let me guess... no parties, no liquor, and no craziness?" Reno knew damn well that Strife was always a killjoy.

"Well. He said no liquor . Doesn't say anything about a party!" The ninja chirped. "Ah loop holes. I love them." Reno smiled and saved the game data. She stood up and went into the kitchen and started to look through the fridge, she wanted something sweet to eat. She found a tube of super chocolate ice-cream, Yuffie grabbed it and two spoons as she went back outside to the T.V. She held out a spoon towards Reno when she sat down. "So do you want to continue to kill people or watch a movie and eat some ice-cream?"

**Sign waves around**


	27. Keep your homones in check!

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything and still trying to save my friend from death.**

"We think so much alike." Reno looked at the ice cream and then stole the spoon from Yuffie. He scraped up some ice cream and promptly shoved it into his mouth. Reno sat down besides Yuffie and pass ed her the remote. "Movies sound good." Reno again spooned more ice cream into his face.

"Hey! Save me some!" The ninja complained as she turned on the regular T.V. and started to surf through the channels. She quickly stole the tub away from Reno to get a couple of bites in before it was stolen back once again. "If you see any movies you want to watch, yell out." Yuffie mumbled between the ice-cream in her mouth.

"Nope, my ice cream." He laughed at her and how her behavior was just like a child. Reno passed her the ice cream and started watching the channels. "Never!" Yuffie cheered as she took the ice cream and started to eat, she moved around on the couch so her head was where feet where normally.

"I want to see, hot dirty couch fornication with you and me." Reno smiled slyly. She handed Reno the ice-cream then choked on the spoonful she was eating when the Turk made a comment. The ninja was forced to slide onto the ground to be able to breath once more, Yuffie did like to breath air over ice cream any day.

"What the hell?" She managed to say over coughing.

Reno wasn't sure what to do. If he didn't think quickly he was going to have a dead Yuffie on his hands. _Wait... don't do the Heimlich, she choked on ice cream. It'll melt. Who the hell chokes on ice cream? _Reno continued to eat his ice cream. "You feel any better?"

The ninja coughed in reply. "What does it look like? I choked on freaking ice cream! Of course I'm fine." Yuffie managed to survive the near ice cream death experience and sat on the couch normally this time. She swiped the ice cream and took another bite, carefully this time, as she continued to switch between the channels. Reno looked at the now empty ice cream container. "Alright... if you say so." Reno got up and threw away the deadly ice cream and then returned back to the couch. "See anything yet Reno?" Yuffie muttered hoping he wouldn't say random crap again.

As the channels passed by he decided to play around. "Um... sex in my bed seems good." Yuffie was licking the last remains of her chocolate ice-cream off of her spoon, and decided to throw it at Reno's head for his comment. "Seriously Reno, 'Party in my Pants' is so much better than 'Sex in my Bed'." The ninja joked; she wondered how far this might go.

Reno threw a pillow at her in retaliation. "Oh really? Well, 'Crazy Hot Fornication in the Elevator' is best." Reno smirked and wiped the ice cream that had splattered across his cheek. He gazed at it in his hand, shrugged, and licked it off.

Yuffie grabbed the pillow and hugged it. "Nu uh!" The ninja replied as she flipped through more channels. A very evil plan popped through her head she hid her face in the pillow grinning. Reno just looked at her, and threw his hands up in disgust, "Are you insane? Fine, but level with me, you love..."

"Oh hey! Fuck me on the couch!" Yuffie yelled pointing at the T.V. screen which had Mr. and Mrs. Smith playing. She had to laugh at herself for saying that.

Reno just about dropped dead as she spoke. After a minute to comprehend what she had just said he jumped on Yuffie. "Fine, I will." The remote tumbled to the ground and again Reno was on top of the ninja. "Hm... this seems familiar somehow." Reno bent his head down and kissed Yuffie's neck. That's when he heard it. The door click, and the sound of groceries hitting the ground.

Yuffie started to burst out laughing; she had to roll off the couch to get some air. The timing couldn't have been better; Tifa strolled in to see a disappointed Reno and a giggling lump of a ninja. Cloud strolled in with tons of groceries and started to put them away with a disgruntled look on his face, plus a nice red mark on his cheek.

"Hey Tifa? Did you slap Cloud?" Yuffie blurted out between laughs, rolling around on the ground. Cloud glared at the laughing lump, and disappeared back into the kitchen. Tifa grinned at the ninja.

"Nope. But a random girl did, it was pretty funny." She grinned at Yuffie, "I'll tell you all about it later. I'm heading to bed."

_Anyone is capable of murder. Anyone..._ but Reno felt that by now he should be given his bachelors degree in planning murder. Right now as Cloud unpacked the corn, the oranges, the apples, and everything else they had purchased Reno was having a debate. A debate of unholy proportions. _Strangle them in their sleep or poison their food? _When one is faced with such options, it can become quite confusing.

Reno stopped worrying about this and his dilemma seemed to be pushed into the dark recesses of his mind. "Strife, tell me that you didn't ask some lady to help squeeze your cantaloupes to help you figure out the firmness. Even if you're dead serious and are actually talking about fruit... women will still beat your ass like a piñata."

Yuffie looked at him confused, "What the hell did you just say? Cloud doesn't have boobs, if he did Tifa stole them."

"Come on Yuffie, you know guys don't have boobs." Reno snickered at the idea of Cloud with a chest the size of Tifa's.

Tifa burst out laughing this time, imagining Choccobo Cloud with boobs was a pretty funny picture. Cloud didn't think it was funny, not at all. So he just glared at Reno, grabbed an overly ripe tomato an d threw it at Reno, squelching nicely into his hair.

Yuffie's mouth dropped to the ground along with Tifa's, _oh how will this end?_

Reno glared at Cloud as the tomato flew into his hair and died. "Strife, what on earth do you think you are doing?" He didn't look furious; he didn't even look fazed by what happened. Inside though, he now decided on what he was going to do with poor Cloud, and it was very painful.

Cloud knew he really pissed Reno off and enjoyed every bit of it. Tifa knew that this might only end in a huge ass fist fight or worse so she quickly grabbed Cloud and dragged him upstairs. "See you guys in the morning!" Tifa called down the stairs pushing Cloud.

Yuffie looked over at Reno slightly afraid of what he might do, so she shifted from being on her back to her knees. If anything happens she would be able to run. "So... Reno... Do you want to take a shower?" She whispered.

Reno's rage had turned into something different. An emotion on the whole other side of the spectrum. His ideas of rage became ideas for funny shit to do in order to embarrass Cloud. "Take it easy on Lockhart Strife! Just because you want her doesn't mean you should forget your manners. Haste makes waste and I ain't cleaning your sheets! Have fun!" Reno smiled and felt a whole lot better, "Don't wear him out Tifa, it's been years! It's like they say Strife, it's like riding a bike. You can't forget. If you did, I bet Tifa won't mind helping."

Reno was going to get his ass beat. "Oh and Cloud? It's not a party without balloons." His smirk was so ingrained into his face by this point; it was a wonder that Reno would ever make another facial expression.

Reno looked over at Yuffie, and waited for Strife to come speeding down the stairs with Tifa right behind him yelling not to kill the Turk. "Shower? With you? Sure, but how about we wait until after Cloud is done trying to kill me."

Cloud did not come running down the stairs, but you did hear a loud crack, a thump then something big being dragged. Yuffie just stared at the ceiling very concerned, not for Reno or Tifa but for Cloud. It sounded like Tifa just sucker punched him out cold; Yuffie turned back to the T.V. and tried to prevent herself from being targeted next. It was far too late.

Reno's eyes widened considerably at the noise that could be heard from upstairs. All kidding aside... (Even though Reno wanted to make some snide comment about how it was rude to break the bed at such a time) he wanted to know what the hell was going on. "What in the hell is going on up there?"

"Umm. I think in order to save your life she just sucker punched Cloud out. Dragged him to her or his room and locked the door. So, I suggest you don't piss Tifa off or you're by yourself on this one." Yuffie replied looking at the ceiling this time.

Reno's eyebrows raised in surprise, "Wow, I would thank her, but that would defeat the purpose of what she just did. Strife would see me and then it wouldn't end well."

"No Reno. I am not showering with you, I took a shower already remember?" She leaned back to see Reno's hair dripping tomato paste onto his shoulder.

"So what? Is there such a thing as being too clean? If there is... well I could just figure a way to get you as filthy as me and we could be... shower buddies." Reno glared at the tomato waste on his shoulder. _What the hell?_ Why him?

"I'm sorry but I don't want a new shower buddy now. That place is taken by Mr. Squeak Mc Squeaken."

**I am so drawing Mr. Squeak Mc Squeaken.**

**DUDE YOU LIVE.**

**Cheah. Tis a party going on. I couldn't miss it.**

**...**

**Oh and The Almighty Smiter is still watching Reno carefully.**

**Shit.**

**Yeaaaahhh...**


	28. Mr Squeak Mc Squeaken!

**Holy shit fangirls and boys.**

**You are officially scaring the crap out of us. Mainly me as you try to beat my door down for more chapters. I'M SORRY SCHOOL IS SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS. Plus I have to do good it in since.. I want to make things go boom when I'm older. Lawwwllz.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this or the hoard of fangirls/boys that are trying to kill me since I'm somewhat lazy/busy.. SHIIIITTTT.**

Reno looked over to her and gave her a what-in-the-hell look. "What the hell is that or who is that?" Reno had never been more vexed by one single human being than he had been by Yuffie.

Yuffie gasped, "You know. Mr. Squeak Mc Squeaken! He's my rubber ducky. We have all sorts of random adventures together. Like fighting off Evil Bubble's bubbly army of doom. As you can tell when no one wants to play with me I get very, very bored. So I take baths to kill time." She leaned all the way back so her back was now on the ground again.

She grinned up at Reno, "So you might want to take a shower before that tomato stain sets in."

Reno just looked at her quizzically, "Ok... I can see that." Reno suddenly got a wonderful idea, a horribly wonderful idea. Reno removed the tomato remains from his hair and weighed the tomato in one hand. He promptly threw it and it landed on Yuffie's shoulder and seemed to explode. There was juice rolling down her arm and splattered on her neck.

The ninja squeaked in surprise at what Reno did. Oh she was mad now, really, really mad. She stood up and glared at Reno, she grabbed whatever remains she could, walked over to Reno and rubbed it into his face. "Now we're even. No, you cannot come into the shower with me." She grinned evilly.

Yuffie sprinted upstairs, locked her door, grabbed some clean clothes and went into the bathroom and started to shower.

Reno was pissed to say the least. _Lock him out! Ha! _Reno crept in through the window that was unlocked and checked the bathroom door. It was unlocked and he knew his triumph was near! Reno stripped down to his boxers and stepped into the shower. He found that Yuffie was facing the facet in the shower. He said nothing and waited.

Yuffie turned around to grab some shampoo but instead saw Reno. He was in his boxers but she, well she didn't have anything on. She stared; the ninja couldn't believe that she forgot to lock the _freakin' bathroom door._ Wrapping her arms around herself, then she took a breath to start screaming. _First Vincent tries this, now Reno does this? WHAT THE HELL?_

Reno heard her scream and then slammed his hand over her mouth as he heard the distinct footsteps of one Mr. Cloud Strife. "Don't tell him I'm here and I will get out as soon as possible. This never happened... agreed?" Reno was now regretting his decision about jumping in the shower with her. From now on... he showered alone.

"Hey Yuffie what's going on?" It wasn't Cloud but Tifa Lockhart. Even worse. Yuffie stared at Reno with wide eyes and his hand still over her mouth, but she nodded. She wanted Reno out of her shower, right away. She leaned back so Reno's hand wasn't covering her mouth anymore, so she called out to Tifa, "I slipped. Nothing serious ok?!" Now the ninja looked at the Turk waiting for him to leave her alone in the shower.

Even if Reno wanted to leave the shower... he couldn't Tifa hadn't left yet and he moved out of her way in case Yuffie had to chase Tifa out. Then he remembered and almost kicked himself _MY FREAKING CLOTHES! If Tifa didn't find out it would be a Christmas miracle._

Tifa tried the door it was locked; she walked away then thought of something. "Hey Yuffie? Where's Reno?" The ninja panicked, turning around so Tifa would hear her better she yelled out the first lie that came to her head. "I think Reno's in the kitchen using ice to get the tomato out of his hair and clothing. But I don't know if he's still in there." _Oh dear god. I wish he was in the kitchen instead of in the shower with me and probably staring at my ass!_ Yuffie thought as she waited for Tifa to go away or something. Reno froze as Yuffie spoke, and tried his best to keep quiet. Which was hard since he almost slipped.

"Hokay then. I'll see you in the morning. If the stains don't come out use some bleach or peanut butter!" Tifa called through the door and headed back to her room with a sleeping Cloud. She sighed and fell asleep next to him. Yuffie sighed with relief that she wasn't going to die.

He was glad that Yuffie's lie worked and as soon as Tifa was out of range he let out a great sigh of relief. Despite Yuffie's thought's Reno had only stared at her ass as he had climbed into the shower with her. Since then his eyes stayed on her back or the wall. Reno looked at Yuffie, "Do you want me to leave or since I'm already here it doesn't matter?" Reno would comply with either, but his hopes were on the later.

Yuffie looked over her shoulder at Reno. "Well, since the shower's already running you might as well shower, but I'm done so I'm leaving." She walked out of the shower and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself, the n grabbed something out of the closet. Reno just watched Yuffie's back as she stepped out of the shower, and he could sense that she was smiling.

"Oh and to keep you company here's Mr. Squeak Mc Squeaken." She grinned throwing the rubber ducky at Reno. Reno again found himself wishing to be an inanimate object. That object of course being a towel, a towel that was clung to by Yuffie. Reno grabbed the shower knobs and shut one of and the other completely on. A good cold shower was just what he needed right about now.

The ninja grabbed another towel and started to dry her hair with a towel, as she walked outside into her room. Yuffie opened up her closet, and started to pick out some new, clean clothing. The ninja closed the bathroom door as she started to change, once finished she opened up the bathroom and threw her towel in. Yuffie headed back down the stairs to get a late night snack, more or less an eleven pm snack. Also to sort through her thoughts about what just happened, so she grabbed an ice-pop and an orange. She nibbled on the ice-pop while peeling the orange.

Reno finished his cold shower in peace and stepped out and picked up a towel for himself. He the n picked up Yuffie's discarded towel, "You know your lucky right?" He shook his head and then dropped the towel. Reno seriously needed sleep if he was talking to a towel. Reno pulled off the soaked boxers and then proceeded to get dressed for bed. Which wasn't that hard, it simply entailed getting a new pair of boxers. He pushed his wet bangs out of his eyes and wandered down stairs. "What are you up to?"

Yuffie slightly jumped at Reno's voice, she had finished peeling the orange and was still eating the ice-pop. "Uhhh.." She muttered through the ice-pop, "eating an ice-pop and then an orange.. Yooouu?" Her hair was still dripping, every once in awhile.

Reno saw her jump and looked at the orange and the ice-pop. "I see, well got any more Popsicles in the freezer?" Reno walked over to the freezer, "Well, before I was contemplating taking you some place secret. Somewhere where no one will find us or something." Reno pulled on the door of the refrigerator and a small shudder went through him at the cold on his very much exposed skin. He finally spied hit target and ripped open the wrapper.

Yuffie watched him fetch a Popsicle, then shiver as he quickly froze from the air around the freezer. "Taking me somewhere secret? We'll that's pretty much happening tomorrow morning when Sora comes. So your wish is pretty much true. Which is weird." The ninja had a sudden thought but it quickly disappeared as it came, so instead she finished nibbling on her Popsicle and started on her orange.

Reno looked at his dark blue Popsicle "I guess my wish is the world's command I suppose." Reno was merely jesting, but it would be ideal.

"Reno controlling the world, now that's a scary thought." Yuffie muttered eating her orange, and watching Reno. He began munching on his Popsicle and soon half of it was gone. "Hey Yuffie? I think I should stay with you."

"What do you mean stay with me? You'll be with me for god knows how long in a house or something in the middle of nowhere." She questioned what the Turkey was thinking, then it finally clicked in her mind, but she didn't say anything.

Reno glared at her, "It wouldn't be that bad! You don't know my idea of a perfect world." Reno had finished his Popsicle and then tossed the stick. "I meant that I should stay with you in your room so that if..." He paused and tried to figure out where to continue. "Axel or something comes after us again." Reno was being protective, but not needlessly so. "If you want I can sleep on the floor."

The ninja rolled her eyes, "Hokay you can sleep in my room, but I'll grab an air mattress for you or something."

"Alright, now let's find the damn thing." Reno too looked for the air mattress. He didn't look hard, mind you. Yuffie leaned back on the counter thinking where in hell did Tifa put that air mattress. So the ninja wandered upstairs and looked in the closet, it was gone and probably in the huge suitcase of stuff near the door. She pondered on what she should do about Reno, and decided to hell with it.

"So now what?" Reno already knew what would fly from Yuffie's lips, but he enjoyed hearing her say it.

The ninja knew what Reno wanted to hear but didn't give it to him. "Looks like you're going to just have to sleep on the floor." She grinned evilly as she walked into Reno's room and grabbed all the blankets she could hold and walked into her room and threw them on the ground.

Reno internally grimaced, but made sure that no such thing reflected on his other features. "Ok..." Reno looked at the bedding stuff at his feet like it was infected with some deadly disease. He started making a spot for himself next to Yuffie's bed and then just looked at it. Reno hated sleeping on the ground, but he wouldn't let on to her.

Yuffie looked at him then his new bed, then back at him. She rolled her eyes, locked the window and the door and jumped into the bed while turning the lights off. "Night Reno." She chirped as she hid under her blankets and tried to fall asleep, which didn't work well.

Reno slid down onto the floor and with every movement he made he felt hatred for the floor. Reno returned the kind words to her. "Night Yuffie." Reno too tried to fall asleep to, and failed. He tossed and turned like he was sleeping on a bed of rocks. He was utterly uncomfortable.

Yuffie grinned and mentally laughed at Reno, he was tossing and turning like there was no tomorrow. That silly little thought in her hand managed to let her fall asleep, and in no time she was deep asleep and slightly snoring.

**Please excuse me when I start running for my life these next few chapters. **


	29. Nap Time ZZzzz

**School sucks. School sucks. So many friends with so many birthday parties sucks also.**

**I'M FREAKIN' BROKE. This sucks.. Rawrz.. GIMME MONEY. (Just kidding. ;;; )**

**Disclaimer: I do not own a pyramid scheme, if I did I would be one rich bitch. Also these characters I don't own. EVIL. EEEVIVIIIVIVILLL.**

Reno couldn't take it anymore. Give him a chair; give him a table, anything but the floor. He felt like a creep the entire time he sat up and debated what he was about to do. Reno just couldn't take the floor. "Yuffie..." He heard nothing. He shook her lightly. "Yuffie..."

The ninja rolled over and ignored Reno; she was in a very deep slumber. She muttered some random crap then remained silent.

Reno shook her a little more forcefully. "Yuffie... I can't sleep on the damn ground. Can I sleep in bed with you?" Reno waited for Yuffie's answer.

She rolled over once again away from Reno an d mumbled something that sounded like a yes.

Reno grabbed his pillow and slipped into bed beside Yuffie and smiled. He just hoped to the Almighty Smiter that she remembered that she told him yes first thing in the morning. He slipped a protective arm around her waist and drifted off to a peaceful slumber.

The great ninja of Wutai didn't know that she had let Reno into her bed; all that she knew was that she had something warm near her, her first thought. A kitten or something along those lines. So peacefully she slept away until morning when Tifa knocked on the door yelling out something about breakfast. Reno could hear Tifa talk about breakfast, but it didn't register in his mind at all.

Yuffie woke up and tried to sit up but couldn't because of something around her waist, she decided that it might be a good time to open her eyes to find a red headed Turk right in front of her face. He gripped Yuffie closer to him. The two were nose to nose and he just smiled. He was blissfully unaware of reality. She blinked not sure of what to think about this since, she just woke up and her mind wasn't working right now.

Reno was blissfully unaware of Yuffie and her staring. He was also unaware that Cloud had walked down the hall, opened the door, and was standing there in shock with Tifa in the door frame. If it was a contest of who looked more shocked...there was no real clear winner.

Yuffie rubbed her eyes at Reno and muttered, "What the hell Reno, I thought you where sleeping on the ground.. I'm hungry." This time she removed his arm, got up and in a zombie like state, passed the shocked Cloud and Tifa downstairs to go and eat her breakfast. Like a zombie. Cloud wanted to beat the shit out of Reno but he had this feeling that if he did he would be smote by someone... So instead he glared at Reno with the intensity of a bajillion suns.

Reno slipped out of bed after Yuffie and didn't even put on a shirt as he passed the now glaring Cloud and the still dumbfounded Tifa. "What's for breakfast? I am starving." Reno could feel the intensity of the glare he was being sent, but he didn't give a damn at all... he was far to hungry to care.

Tifa shook her head she could not believe that Yuffie let someone sleep in her bed, yet not know about it. She guessed that Yuffie only let him in her room was because of the threat of Axel and that's it. Cloud on the other hand wasn't thinking very clearly, he wanted Reno out and Yuffie to stay but he already promised Tifa. Thankfully both of them would be out of h is hair soon enough. Sora was going to arrive in about two hours, two long hours.

Yuffie arrived downstairs and started to eat the almighty cereal that was placed out for her. Magical Choco-Os! After several spoonfuls she suddenly realized what had happened this morning, and once again choked. This time, on milk.

Reno had just reached the lower level when he heard Yuffie sputtering over her cereal. "Oh shit. What now?" Reno looked over to her and found that she was simply choking on milk. Reno knew it would pass eventually. He grabbed a bowl and poured himself some cereal. "Something on your mind?" Reno shoved the cereal into his mouth and glanced at Yuffie.

"Yes." Yuffie managed to answer after finishing choking on some milk. "How the hell did you manage to stay in my bed without me kicking the living shit out of you? Tifa and I had to bunk once and well, in the morning she was on the ground." The ninja started to eat her cereal carefully once again, all of the food items now-a-days seem like they want Yuffie to choke on them. Very concerning, besides that Tifa was now downstairs without her Chocobo.

Reno shrugged; he himself didn't know how to answer. "I dunno. I just slept; I remember throwing an arm around your waist and just falling asleep." Reno finished his cereal and threw the dishes in the sink. "Poor Tifa, guess I'm just lucky I guess."

"You two better finish eating soon, Sora's going to be coming in about two hours and we have to make sure you guys have everything ready." She chirped as she walked back upstairs to check on something, or someone.

Reno looked at Tifa, "Well, I guess I better put some clothes on." Reno left Yuffie alone in order to get dressed.

Yuffie just stared at the wall while eating her cereal thinking, thinking of everything that has happened so far. She really wondered why the hell everything was happening, but decided she really didn't want to think about it, stupid depressing stuff. So the great ninja headed upstairs and changed into some of her normal clothing, as a finishing touch she added a bright neon green scarf with orange little cat faces all over it. Dragging her suitcase downstairs Yuffie threw it by the other suitcase with all of the food it in.

Then Sora came walking in, in his normal-yet-weird clothing. "Hi Yuffie!" He smiled at the ninja before she tackled-glomped him again.

"Hiiii Sooorrraaa!! So where are you going to be taking us?" The ninja wondered.

"Now that's a secret." The young boy replied back. Yuffie sat down on her suitcase and pouted at the boy.

"Well that's no fun."

"Of course. Are you guys ready?" Sora seemed a little nervous, he knew what was going on or at least most of it.

"I think so. Just have to say good-bye to Beefa and I think that's it." The ninja joked with Tifa's name, who couldn't? "Hey Reno? You reeaadddyy?" Yuffie asked the Turk.

Reno heard Yuffie yell and dragged his suitcase down the stairs. He was now fully dressed, and he had straightened out his bed head situation. Reno spotted Sora and smiled. "Sora, good to see you again." He gave him a nice friendly smile.

"Where on earth is Tifa when you need her?" Reno leaned against a nearby wall and waited for them to finally get going.

Tifa finally came down the stairs without Cloud once again, she promptly hugged Yuffie with a thousand pounds of force and let go. "Hopefully we'll see you soon once we get everything under control. Also Cloud says goodbye, but he's too much of a chicken to say it." Tifa winked, the ninja grinned back, "Well tell that chocobo head that I'll miss throwing tomatoes at him."

"Bye Reno!" Tifa even gave the Turk a little hug then waved as they started to drag their stuff to a car that Sora brought over. Reno hugged Tifa back, "See you soon." After leaving the friendly embrace he picked up his luggage.

"Sora I thought you couldn't drive." Yuffie asked.

"I can't." He grinned at Yuffie, "Rufus is driving."

"Oh." The ninja was secretly thinking, _Oooh shit._ Calmly she threw her luggage in and entered the car to see a Rufus with a black eye. Yuffie quickly bit her lip on not saying anything about it. Nor his security.

Reno threw his stuff in the car and smiled at Rufus. "Hi boss." Reno tried not to smile too much at the fact that Rufus's eye was blackened.

Rufus was just staring at them through the rear view mirror, Sora jumped in and started talking to the two of them as Rufus started to drive away.

"Hokay here's the plan. We're going to take you to the middle of nowhere to a house and you're not allowed to leave the main area. You are to stay there unless we tell you to or a sudden disaster happens. If you need any supplies we'll mail them to you." He read all of this off a note-card, which made Yuffie giggle.

Sora looked up and stuck his tongue out at Yuffie, who returned the gesture back. Reno avoided Rufus's gaze in the rear view mirror and listened intently to Sora. He gazed out the window at the scenery as it flew by.

"Continuing," He discarded the card this time, "the thing is about Axel and his buddies are hunting you down because of Yuffie stealing this Key. I'm pretty sure that this key might be one of the many keys to unlocking one of the many doors around here.

That door that they're trying to open could let some really nasty things out. Like super powered heartless or something along those lines. Since the both of you touched the key or Yuffie at least, you are required to be the one that opens the door. Why? Who knows, but it's a serious problem, since afterwards you won't have a heart anymore."

The great ninja was groaning by this time, her evil habit of stealing bulging wallets had started all of this. Yuffie decided that she'll stick with stealing priceless jewels, or materia, from the diamond store from now on.

The middle of nowhere didn't sound good. It didn't sound good at all seeing as he often got horrible thoughts and chaos followed Yuffie. He also didn't like the sound of mail ordering things. They were surely to get stir crazy soon after. The two of them may be in for a rough time.

Reno ran his fingers though his hair. Great, just fucking great! He knew Yuffie's stealing would get her in trouble one day, but this was just perfect. Now she actually grabbed something worth while, but very troublesome.

Super powered heartless? Great, now Yuffie's heart was on the line... literally. Next time someone installs a killer heart taking door... they should be the only ones that had to suffer. Everything just seemed to be getting better. It was all fantastic really! _YIPPIE FUCKING DOODA! _

**"Finally." Sora stated looking at now depressed couple. **

**Hahaha. Now you can't yell/kill/hurt meee neyyyahahhahaha! is shanked Owie... Cries**


	30. Matchmaker, Groping and Zombies? DAFUDGE

**FINALLY! FINALLY? I dunno.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this or physic abilities. Then I would totally own the market. HAHAHAA... Aww... Sniffle.**

"Finally? This doesn't sound good." Yuffie groaned.

"Maybe, maybe not. Some more rules for in the house besides staying in the area." The note-card was back once again. Reno looked out the window at their current destination. "More rules?" Reno couldn't help but hate the world right now.

"One, no calls out or texting, unless we say so. Two, no parties with or without beer. Three, no beer or anything along those lines. Four, no one is to visit you without us knowing and approving, if anyone comes in that isn't us, kill them. Five.." He hesitated, looked at Rufus who glared right back and gulped facing them again.

Ok, no calls that's alright. He could deal with that for awhile. No parties... um... ok. _NO BEER? WHO IN THE HELL THOUGHT UP THAT RULE?_ Whoever it was surely was in grave peril. Reno was going to kill the unlucky shit that decided on the 'no beer' rule. Ok... no unexpected visitors. Reno knew it wasn't Sora's fault, but he wanted to rip the damn card out of his hands and tear it up.

Sora looked back at the note-card wishing it did say what he had to say, "No relationships beyond.. Friends." Afterwards he crumpled up the paper and hid it in his pocket. Yuffie stared at him wondering what it really said on there, she was about to ask until she caught a glimpse of Rufus and decided not to. He might still be mad about the whole itching powder and exploding Cait sith. Which had confetti fly out and into his eye.

_**OK, NO RELATIONSHIP BEYOND FRIENDS?**_ How in the hell does that put them in grave danger? Did the **'Let's Shit on Reno's Dreams' **parade come to town and not tell him? Reno shot Rufus a death glare. Scratch that he gave Rufus a 'I'm going to fucking kill you and dump your body in the river' look.

"Oh and we have to drug you." Sora whispered before putting on a gas mask and the front of the car was sealed off from the back. "Sorry." He muttered through the mask as knockout gas started to fill the room.

"Well this fucking sucks." Yuffie muttered slightly freaking out, while passing out at the same time.

"Drug us? SHIT!" This was icing on his **'this is shit cake'!** Reno felt a haze overtake him and soon the only thing Reno saw was utter darkness.

Yuffie woke up after being asleep for god knows how long to find herself on a bed. She make a gargling groan as she sat up, looking over she saw Reno, starting to wake up with drool coming out of his mouth. The ninja would have laughed her ass off, except the minor fact was that she had a killer headache and was still slightly drugged up. So she laid back down waiting for the drug to go away.

Reno woke up and found himself on a bed. A very comfy one at that, but still it was odd. The drug processed through his system and he sat up. His head felt like several atomic bombs went off in it. "Shit." Reno sort of wobbled as he took his first two steps. It was worse than being drunk. Soon enough his body had dispelled the drug from his system.

Yuffie watched him leave and sighed, she still couldn't get up. So she just laid there wondering why the hell did everything go down the drain. He walked around and tried to find the kitchen. It must be this door! Nope, a bathroom. Ok, this one! Closet. Finally he got the last door open and found a hallway that led to a pretty nicely done living room. Within a few minutes the ninja felt better and slowly she rose from the bed, staggered to down the hall looking through every opened door. Bathroom, closet...

Reno found the kitchen and found a bottle of aspirin! Holy shit did he feel triumphant.

_Ahha!! Living room and kitchen! _Yuffie saw Reno down there and called out, "IS THERE GOOD DRUGS DOWN THERE?!"

Reno could hear her coming and smiled. He nodded and placed the bottle on the counter. "Yep, they already started working for me. I feel great."

Yuffie slowly walked down the stairs to the kitchen, then started to look through the fridge for something good to drink. Unknowingly the oh so powerful ninja didn't notice that there was a sticky note attached to her ass.

Reno watched Yuffie look for something in the fridge and just about had a stroke. _**WHAT!**_ Reno gawked at Yuffie's ass, but not for the normal reason. He saw a nice blue sticky note on her ass and pulled it off. In big handwriting the words, **'RENO, NO SEX!'**

"What the hell? If they were going to do something like this they should have known better. I don't listen. If they wanted to make a point they should have covered you completely in handy little notes like this."

Yuffie turned around confused she had chocolate milk in her hand. "Covered me in sticky notes? Why? Wouldn't that itch?" She questioned without looking at the note in Reno's hand, then she did. "Ohh...Kayy... So that's what Sora was talking about." The ninja thought, the drugs where still working on her head so it didn't click right away.

Reno nodded, 'Probably, but they'd be useful." He looked around the kitchen, and for the most part it was an ordinary kitchen. Stove, microwave, chairs, table, and stuff. He looked at Yuffie and decided as soon as possible would be best.

The meaning behind the sticky note finally clicked after she took the aspirin, the great ninja just ignored it all the same. "Hokay, we're in the house. We are to survive in here for god knows how long. How about we start exploring?" She offered holding up her glass of chocolate milk.

"Sure. Why not?"

So Yuffie got up and start ed to explore around the living room with her chocolate milk in hand. There was a nice T.V. with plenty of video games and video game systems. "MMmmm... Games." She grinned, oh she was so going to spend a lot of time on those.

Noticing a side door she wandered that way to see it led into a laundry room, all nice and clean. There was a back door with plenty of locks on it, so she didn't touch them. "Heavy duty one-o-one right there." Yuffie noted.

Reno saw the game systems and then moved down the h all. There were plenty of rooms. One had all these musical instruments and such in it. Another was a huge in house movie system. They would certainly be entertained for awhile. Reno saw a small compartment that led to the attic. "That could be useful."

Yuffie explored some more; there was two bedrooms, three bathrooms, one den like room, no basement, an attic and a well stocked fridge and living room. Not to mention the tons of locks on each door. She sat down in the living room thinking, and then a sudden thought came to her, "Wait. Who in hell put the sticky note on my ass?" The ninja thought out loud, "Rufus? _Eeeww.._" Yuffie shivered at the thought of **that.**

Reno returned back to the living room and lay down on the couch. He heard Yuffie's musings and just laughed. "Well, I'm pretty sure it's Rufus. I don't see Sora doing something like that." Reno just had that image come to mind. It wasn't pretty in the slightest.

"Sora is far too young to start groping!" Yuffie laughed at the thought of Sora failing horribly at groping, very funny image. Reno just snickered; he had only thought that it was weird if Sora had.

"So how about a movie?" The ninja chirped jumping up to look at the movie selection. "SHAUWN OF THE DEAD!" She cheered picking it up and putting it into the DVD devise and started the movie. "I don't care if you don't want to watch this, but I am." She grinned at Reno.

He hadn't thought about the comedy that thought brought. "I suppose. Wait there is an age requirement for groping? Wow."

"I think there is, but then again I could be insanely wrong." Yuffie pondered about the age requirements as the opening credits started to roll; she turned off the lights and flopped down on the couch. Reno had no qualms with Shauwn of the dead, but now he knew that he would be craving some popcorn. "I actually don't care. I like that movie."

"Well good, since we're going to watch it. Go get some snacks." The ninja commanded the Turk, she wanted to see if he would go and fetch some.

Reno nodded, "You could, and you could also be wrong about Sora. He could be a closet perv. He could have some insane obsession with you and that's why he put that sticky note on you. He didn't want 'his Yuffie' damaged." Reno was s imply joking. If he turned out to be right then... _wow._

"No... you go get us some snacks." Reno was lazy and didn't want to miss the movie.

Yuffie promptly whacked him with one of those crazy decorative pillows snickering. "I'm sorry but Sora is totally in love with Kairi, he even asked me for help on getting a date with Kairi. Which I rigged and in the end both of them left pretty happy, I believe." The ninja tried to think back on that day, she managed to shove Kairi into Sora's arms making him turn the color of Reno's hair, she even had a picture of it!

Reno glared at the pillow. "Yuffie? The matchmaker? Somehow I can't picture it." He never pictured her as a matchmaker or a '_dear Nancy_' type.

Yuffie whacked Reno again with the pillow, "Nooo... You go." She was going to keep up this battle until the Turk gave in or she was thrown from the couch.

"Really? Hm... well good for him." Reno gut up and to make the popcorn. "You know... I do all this shit for you. What do I get in return?" He threw a bag of microwave popcorn in and then hit the proper button. Soon he would have his popcorn... and boy did Reno love popcorn.

Yuffie pondered at what she should say about what Reno gets in return. "In return you get... A HAPPY NINJA!" The ninja chirped grinning over th e couch at Reno and his microwave. On screen there was a huge wave of zombie coming at the characters and Yuffie returned her attention to the screen.

**Excuse me while I try to find somewhere where I can buy Domo-Kun energy drinks in bulk.. Or a lot of them. Since they are awesome. **

**TASTE LIKE STRAWBERRIES!**

**NEYEAHHAHAHHEYEYHEAJKEHFJHDSKjfhalkuw347r98q274oi32uyrejasehfj hdiohKKIUAKJFDSHAU6349828UIWYEIUY!y!yq#&(riewuyrhfkljrwfpisdyfhLKjghiufD6G8762i&y#ekJ...**

**THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HARRASE ME. I GET SCARY CRAZY!**

**Happy Chap 30. o**


	31. Happy Naked Ninjas? NO WAI

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THIS! OR A HAPPY NINJA. Well unless a happy ninja is me.. Then I kind of do own one... I think..**

Reno scoffed at Yuffie's statement. "Happy ninja? A happy naked ninja? A happy willing to have sex with me ninja? Oh! How about a happy naked willing to have sex with me ninja?" Reno grinned and then the microwave beeped. "Ready!" He emptied the popcorn into a large bowl and then sat down.

Yuffie was going to hit him again with the decorated pillow that she wished had some fucking decorated stones in it. She didn't for the sake of the popcorn's safety, after she grabbed some handfuls and started to eat them.

"Just a happy ninja. Not a happy naked ninja willing to have sex with you. Remember the sticky note; it could be from your boss!" She grinned, with a mouthful of popcorn, at Reno. "If it is necessary I will sacrifice some of the popcorn to hit you with this decorated couch rock." Yuffie pointed at the pillow.

Reno shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth and munched on it as more zombies appeared. "That's not a great prize. So? Screw the sticky note, and what my boss doesn't know can't hurt him. It's not like they have video cameras in here!" Reno gripped the popcorn bowl tighter.

Yuffie looked over at him and raised an eyebrow, "Maybe they do... I didn't look for any." Her eyes widen at the thought of cameras, she started to look around trying to see if there was any.

Reno had actually looked around the place already and had found absolutely no cameras. "Well... I did, andthey don't." Reno watched as the ninja wasted her time. "You won't find any."

"DAMNIT! I wanted to accuse Rufus on being a closet PERVERT. My dreams are crushed." Yuffie groaned sitting back normally to watch the movie, feeling the sudden urge to do something she did it.

"Well, I'm sorry to burst your bubble." Reno snickered at the thought of Yuffie's goals in life. The great ninja of Wutai started to throw popcorn at the T.V. screen, then at Reno. She had to giggle when some popcorn got stuck in th e Turk's hair.

Reno returned his attention to the movie and felt the popcorn fall into his hair. "What is this infatuation you have with my hair?" Reno pulled the popcorn out of his hair carefully, "Why is it that the hair always gets it?"

Yuffie looked over at him with a straight face, "Because... It's an arrest-me-red color and it's the perfect bright color to make people want to mess around with it. Mainly me." Her mouth twitched as she tried to keep a straight face, which didn't last long be fore a large grin appeared.

Reno sighed, "I suppose. I can't help it though. I'm a natural red head." Reno saw Yuffie's contagious grin and soon sported one himself. "Speaking of arrest-me-red did you happen to pack your marvelous dress?" Reno had the worst intentions known to man.

Yuffie looked around mischievously then looked at Reno, "No I did not, unless Tifa, some how, managed to slip it in. Also I skipped on the lingerie. So you have no luck there." The ninja countered back, she didn't bring anything that might get Reno thinking. Baggy clothes all the way.

Reno was a little disappointed at the fact that Yuffie had left out the dress and lingerie. He hoped to the Almighty Smiter that Tifa had magically put them in her suitcase. Reno would find someway to succeed. He was persistent, and he would not back down. He would get Yuffie, or die trying.

Yuffie remained mostly silent as the movie continued, every once in awhile she would throw popcorn at Reno's hair, face or miss completely. A few minutes later they ran out of popcorn, to eat at least, the rest of it was on the ground or in someone's hair. She was grinning the whole entire time, at how evil she was. Puuurreeee EEVVVIIIILLL!

Reno was getting a little annoyed, not with the popcorn in his hair or Yuffie's antics. He was just annoyed with the world really. **First**, he was getting chased by the Organization. **Second**, he was stuck in a house. Lastly, and most importantly... he couldn't sleep with Yuffie. Why did the world have it out for him? He shook the popcorn from his hair and stole a glance at Yuffie.

She was smiling, and damn did he just want to rip, no, kiss that smile away from her face. Her eyes had that mischief shining behind them, and so did his. Reno's mischief, held definitely horrible intentions in store.

The great ninja's materia and shiny objects obsessive mind could not begin to comprehend what just might happen in this house. She couldn't even understand some of the evil plans that just might be going through Reno's head at this second as a character just whacked a zombie in the head with a person's foot. So instead of understanding the planning behind Reno's eyes, she giggled at what was happening on screen. Instead of trying to figure out Reno's plans and destroying them in some way, shape or form.

Reno had to try and control himself, which was increasingly hard to do. The way the light from the TV shone on her pale skin and he chewed on the inside of his lip. He scooted c loser to her. Yes, he was supposed to control himself, but he never did what he was supposed to. He placed his arm on the couch around her shoulders. This was going to be really hard.

Yuffie's grin grew when she realized what Reno was doing, quickly she formulated a plan. A very evil, evil plan, which would start right after the credits started to roll. Staring intently at the screen with blood flying at it's near end the ninja started to count down in her mind.

_'5... 4... 3... ... 1... Let's go!'_

As quick as a flash Yuffie grabbed some of the pre-fired popcorn and threw it into Reno's face, at the very same time she poked his stomach and flipped over the couch onto the stairs. She held up Reno's hair tie triumphantly, like she just won (or stole) a gold metal.

"Nyuck!" The ninja gigged as she aimed the air tire to fire at Reno's head, lining up she waited for him to move. Once he did move off of that couch she was going to fire.

Reno's plans were temporarily thwarted by the ninja. She stole his hair tie! She was so dead! If he hadn't been trying to restrain himself and failing before, he sure as hell was now. Reno choked on popcorn momentarily and then watched as she reveled in her small victory.

Reno looked at what she was doing she was going to fire at him. What a horrible plan, it was way too obvious. Reno stood up and carefully walked toward her. He would duck at a moment's notice.

Yuffie was stalling for time to plan something out, the attic! With a small window! _A WAY OUT. BOOYAH!_ Quickly Yuffie bent down and fired at Reno, betting that he would duck if she even moved, as soon as the hair tie disappeared between her fingers she was already bolting up to the attic. There was a window, a small one that opened up, without any of the hardcore super duty padlocks.

Reno ducked the hair tie and then dashed behind Yuffie. She bolted up toward the attic, and he followed directly behind her. Reno spotted the window, and there we absolutely no locks on it. Fantastic!

Like any ninja with a turkey on her ass she opened the window and tried to fit through, like any woman the hips where one hell of a curse. The great ninja was stuck, due to her hips; she struggled of course but moved nowhere. "DAMNIT! I knew I shouldn't have eaten all of the ice-cream in Tifa's freezer yesterday. Grrr..." Yuffie swore as, magically, she started to slip through the window. Now struggling as hard as she can she was almost there. "COMMON YOU STUPID HIPS! LET ME KEEP MY VICTORY YOU GOD DAMN STUPID ICE-CREAM!"

**WOMEN'S WORSE NIGHTMARE HIPS. CURSE OF GOD. Along with one other thing. CURSESSS... Blargeth.**


	32. DASTARDLY PLANS HAVE GONE DOWN THE DRAIN

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THIS OR A SANE MIND! O3o;**

Reno saw her hips get stuck and smiled. She cursed her hips for their short-comings. As if by magic, her hips started to slide through the small opening. As her feet were about to escape he grabbed them and pulled her inside. Reno promptly threw her over his shoulder and made his way down from the attic.

The great ninja could literally taste her freedom, if freedom tasted like air after a long rain. Then Yuffie did taste her freedom until Reno pulled her back inside, evil hips this time didn't give any trouble, and flung her once again over his shoulder. She hated this position, really, really hated it. From the attic Reno took her exactly where all his bad intentions wanted to taker her... their bedroom.

Thinking quickly as the great ninja could she removed her shoe, thankfully she wore regular sneakers, and tried to hit Reno with it. Instead it soared over his head and hit hers. Reno had escaped the shoe to the head and laughed at Yuffie receiving it instead. Karma! He knew she hated being thrown over his shoulder. He knew, he just didn't care.

Groaning in annoyance at her failed plan and a new bruise to add to her collection. Still trying to annoy the crap out of the Turk or at least get free she untied her scarf and threw it around the red head. She had groaned into his ear and Reno could feel half of his muscles tensing. Why did everything she did affect him? He felt the scarf wrap around his torso and just smiled. It would take much more than a mere scarf to deter the Turk. He reached their room and tried to calculate his next move.

"Mwhahaha!" Yuffie cheered thinking that she had some kind of advantage.

The ninja grinned with her tongue between her lips, wrapping her scarf to the door knob; she prayed that might send him off balance for a bit. Just as the scarf was starting to stretch, Yuffie grabbed the door frame, not knowing which room they where heading into.

Pulling as hard as she could she tried to escape from Reno's grip, she did slip through but not enough. So she pulled harder at the door frame as the scarf was pulling the door towards the Turk. Reno was not set off balance as was planned. He disentangled himself from the scarf and pried her hands from the door frame. The two walked toward one bed and then stopped abruptly.

"CURSE YOU FOR RUINING MY DASTARDLY PLANS!" Yuffie yelled still trying to wiggle free.

Once Reno stopped, the ninja stopped also slightly confused as to why, trying her best, which wasn't much, she contorted her body to try and look over herself and Reno.

"Why did ya stop?" She questioned, unable to see the bed and not noticing that they where back in the bedroom where they first awoke. Silly, silly ninja. Reno wasn't sure. He wasn't sure he could do it...well he could do it, but he wasn't sure if he could do it like this. He heard none of her first sentence, he was merely engulfed in thought. Her contorting wasn't helping him decide at all.

Could he do it? Could he do it without any inclination from Yuffie about how she felt about his idea? Yuffie's words were like a hypnotist snapping the person out of their stupor. "No, no reason." He sat down at the edge of the bed.

The ninja remained limp as he sat down on the bed, still not letting her go. So she just hanged there, waiting for Reno to say something at least. Five minutes passed neither of them moved a muscle, until Yuffie decided to. Since she was very, very bored with waiting for him to move, not to mention how he was acting now. _Weird-o_ in the ninja's mind for Reno, Cloud? Well anything besides being carved stone is very, very scary for him.

"Reno, you're acting like someone just hijacked your brain. What's wrong?" Yuffie questioned still hanging there, not even bothering to move.

Reno set her lying down on the bed and just looked at her. As her hair spilled across the bright and newly clean looking white pillow. Then he looked at her, really looked at her. Yuffie's pale skin looked like porcelain and was just as unblemished, her eyes held much more life than anyone he had ever met, and everything about her overwhelmed him.

Yuffie knew what might happen, but she didn't know if it would happen. So she just went with the flow for now. Reno was so conflicted; this had never been so hard. Reno pulled her hands above her head with one hand and leaned over her and rested his weight on his remaining elbow and his knees.

"Reno. You still haven't answered my question. Why are you acting like someone just hijacked your brain?" She smirked waiting, hopefully, an answer that had some words in it. Still waiting for an answer the ninja decided to study his eyes, because they where so close, a nice blue color. Yuffie wondered what kind of stories where hidden behind those eyes, good or bad, didn't matter to her; she loved stories.

"I am acting this way, because of you. Yeah, you and your damn eyes, your freaking smile, and the way you fucking kill me with some of the things you don't even know that you do. Now either you tell me what the hell I am supposed to do about it seeing as there is only so much a guy like me can handle, or I may do something I might regret." His blue eyes were as intense as they had ever been.

Yuffie blinked she was amazed at what just came out of Reno's mouth. It was cute and mind blowing all at the same time, he seemed to do that to her a lot these days. Not to mention they keep winding up in this position a lot, at least once almost every day since he came back, sometimes twice!

_Oh my gawd Reno's hair is annoying yet awesomely smooth at the same time._ The ninja thought as his hair slowly fell over his shoulders since he was missing his hair-tie thanks to her. The Turk did look slightly weird with his pony tail loose, but that really didn't matter right now, to Yuffie it did, only for a second.

Reno's scrutinizing gaze roamed the entirety of Yuffie as if he was trying to permanently sear her image into his mind. Reno moved closer, and continued to keep his hold on her hands. They were so damn close that only a thin sliver of space was between both of them.

The ninja tried to think of what to say, she wasn't really sure about it. So she stayed silent thinking, thinking fast and being distracted just as fast. Reno's face, mainly his eyes that could say so much but didn't, and then his now closing in lips.

Reno could tell that she too was as conflicted. Her eyes screamed 'I don't know what to do' and he felt the exact same way. He could tell she was concentrating very hard on his mouth as the ends of it raised into a satisfied grin. Reno had her; he had her right where he might want her.

She was biting her lip and hell after a little bit of imagination it was no longer her teeth there. His teeth took their place and instantly Reno knew he at least wanted a kiss from the ninja. The agonizingly long awkward pause was so intense that you needed a freaking jack hammer to cut through all the tension.

With down cast eyes Yuffie bit her lip finally thinking of something to say, took her about six minutes to do it too. "I really don't know what you should do." She cast her eyes back at Reno's with her famous grin on her face. Finally her words cut through the air and Reno felt more at ease, but only to be mentally knocked on his ass. She didn't know either, which was just as good as saying 'get the hell away from me, don't think about it you disgust me.'

**TEE-HEE I TAUNT J000!!**


	33. OHOHWHO CAN WRITE A BORDERLINE M and T!

**HO MAI GEEZ. THIS WAS FREAKIN' HARD TO WRITE. Plus to make things worse this is the first time I've ever done an almost M rated scene/part/paragraph(s)... So if it's kind of cheezy/craptastic.. SOORRRYYY!! Sobs**

**Anyway excuse me while I grin in joy at the minor fact that I'm going to use this as a very nice distraction as I run screaming away from your flaming pitchforks and rabid letters.. The papercuts hurt... ;;**

**DISCLAIMER: I down own this or... WIIIIiiiiirrr... I MADE SMOOTTHHIIIEESS!! See note below**

"Whatever it is, I'm sure you won't regret it."

_**Yuffie, you have officially lost your MIND!**_ Little mental chibi Yuffie yelled out to the now deaf real-sized Yuffie.

As his ship of hopes and dreams sank he triedto figure out where it had all gone wrong. Then what she said afterward hit him like a boxer's right hook. His ship was not sunk at all; it just encountered a rough wave for a moment. "Are you sure about that?" Reno's look was one of the worst and most lecherous looks that one person could give. If she had lost her mind he certainly had as well, and it was all her fault.

Reno was now a man of action, a being that simply existed in the moment. No thought had passed through his mind after she had suggested that she said yes. He let go of her hands (there was no need now), and kissed her. As his lips met hers his hand found the bottom of her green shirt and slid his hand under and let it rest comfortably on her bare sides.

His other hand wandered to her right thigh. He undid the unnecessary belt that clung to her waist and threw it carelessly away from them. He didn't bother with her materia socks; those were of no importance to him at this moment. Reno pushed the bottom of her green tube top up to expose her flat stomach. Reno was a man on a mission and it didn't matter if the world was ending outside, because for him the world was just beginning.

Yuffie reached up to move the pillow with one hand as the other removed Reno's goggles, she hit something metallic under the pillow but just ignored it. She was distracted by Reno's movements, she barely registered the clank the goggle made as they where discarded. Little chibi-yuffie was still screaming about loosing her mind and Yuffie really didn't give a shit about it. It felt freaking amazing to loose her mind for once, in a pretty hot situation. With one hand still in Reno's hair messing it up the other started to unbutton his shirt, he always kept it half undone so she only had to do half of the work. Bonus for Yuffie!

**Outside in the pouring rain…**

"Fucking Reno. I hate his guts, along with his little ninja girl." Axel quietly growled as he slowly trudged up a muddy road on a pretty steep hill. He couldn't teleport which sucked, and it was raining slightly. More to add to Axel's frustration, which mainly consisted of the mixed emotions of his anger and Reno's feelings.

At the top of the hill he finally found what he was looking for, a house that had some lights on. "Bingo." Axel whispered approaching the house somewhat covered in mud and drenched. Prowling around the edge of the house Axel w as looking for some way in, almost ever entrance had some sensors or locks on them. That is until he looked up at the slightly open window attic, it wasn't big enough for him with the edging in, but who said Axel wanted to keep the house in perfect condition?

Defying all rules of gravity Axel jumped up to the open window, in one motion he ripped the decorative edging to create a bigger hole for him. Threw the newly redesigned window, he was able to squeeze through leaving some mud marks around the edge from his feet and cloak. What he didn't know, or the two downstairs in the bedroom, was that a silent alarm went off.

Axel was frustrated the he could not find a way down into the house, he was in it, but had to go down at least a floor. But no, the ladder down was hidden somewhere in the darkness and he couldn't find it. He stomped the floor while frustrated, he fell down the now existing stairs into a crumpled mass at the bottom. Not his lucky day and he was running out of time, real fast.

Back inside the bedroom…

Reno heard the goggles clunk to the ground, and felt her hand attach itself in his hair. He smiled against her lips and then moved to her neck. Reno felt her hands pressing against his chest as she undid his buttons. He sure wasn't going to be the only one without a shirt. Reno lifted her green top over her head and threw it in the same general direction as the belt. Yuffie finished unbuttoning Reno's shirt and pulled it off of him, throwing it onto the now growing pile of clothing.

His dexterous tongue slithered out of the hollow of his mouth and traced a long line down from her chin and jaw to her collarbone. His hand found its way to the front of her shorts and he fumbled with the button the first time. His perseverance paid off, and he achieved his goal with unbuttoning her shorts. Reno pressed his teeth flat against her neck so she could feel that he was smiling. Reno grabbed a hold of the zipper and slid it down. Nothing could quite compare to this moment.

The ninja had to grin at the trouble her shorts where causing Reno, but it didn't last long when he finally unzipped them. She decided to be a little bit annoying, "You obviously haven't had enough practice with unzipping someone's pants Reno." Reno had just glared at her. Never been good with zippers? Ha! In what world? Reno had a Masters and a teaching degree in several areas, and removing clothes and zippers were his specialties.

She just giggled at the thought of Reno being unable to unzip his own jacket. But not to be outdone by Reno, the great ninja decided to show off a little, in one movement she was able to unbuckle and take the Turk's belt off of him. He had hastily pulled her shorts from her and threw them haphazardly toward the mountain of discarded clothing. He was certainly impressed with Yuffie's capability to take care of a difficult belt. "I see you've been practicing."

Yuffie was grinning until the bed suddenly lurched forward sending both of them onto the floor into a heap. The metallic item that Yuffie b rushed against earlier whacked her in the head. Groaning she looked down first at Reno then at the thing that had caused her pain, is was a 9mm handgun.

She didn't like the though of that there was a handgun in the house, not to mention is was hidden under a pillow. Her mind went while when she hear creaking upstairs from the ceiling like someone was walking around up there. If someone was indeed in the house it was a very bad time since both of them where half dressed and on the floor together.

Reno had just kissed Yuffie again as the bed lurched. He swore angrily, "That is the first time I have been kicked out of bed... by a bed!" Reno stood up and looked at the handgun.

"Why in the hell is that thing here? Is this some odd fantasy of yours? Sleep with me or I'll shoot? Whatever floats your boat." He rubbed his head and shook it quickly, "I've heard weirder ideas than that." The ninja rolled her eyes at Reno's comment. "You know I can't fire a gun for crap. I barely know where the trigger in, let alone try to take a Turk on with one."

The creaking above them caused Reno to mentally swear at whoever thought it was such a fantastic idea to let an intruder in when he was just getting somewhere.

"Was it just me or does it sound like we aren't alone anymore? If that's the case we'll have to pick t his up later." Reno eyed the ceiling warily.

"A rain check Princess, **I swear!**" Reno snatched up his clothes and began to dress. Even though he was capable of fighting in his current half-dressed state, he didn't feel like doing so now.

She rolled over and grabbed her shorts pulling them over her chocobo undies. The great ninja was far too lazy to put her shirt on as she slowly opened the door and looked both ways down the hall, as quick as a flash she withdrew her head with shocked eyes. Turning around towards Reno she whispered, "It's Axel again." The ninja dived for her shirt to cover herself more that what was exposed now, she really didn't want Axel seeing her in her matching chocobo bra.

Axel growled at the staircase, he really wanted to set it aflame but that wouldn't work well to his advantage, he didn't know that he already lost it. Quietly he stood up, dusted himself off and started to prowl down the hallway. Almost all of the lights where on, so he started with the first door.

WRONG!Bathroom!

**WRONG! **Closet!

Reno took the gun after having at least gotten his shirt back on. He didn't bother to button it though, too much of a hassle. Reno enjoyed the view of Yuffie in her chocobo underwear. It was adorable and absolutely fitting... in both senses of the word. If admiring someone's ass was a sport Reno was the best athlete known to **man.**

The word Axel seemed permanently ingrained into their vocabulary these days. "Of course, because this 'Safe House' is just SO safe!" He watched her cover up the rest of the little yellow birds and smiled. That's right, only he got to see them. Reno walked over to her and gave her a hug. This warm gesture just fit the situation; it was just perfect and innocent. That was when Reno placed his hands over Yuffie's ass and then kissed her. "Nice ass." Reno's face contorted in happiness and kissed her once more.

The ninja pouted at Reno as he grabbed her ass so she returned the favor, instead of grabbing his ass, she grabbed his hair. "Don't make me shoot you when you're sleeping." He readied the gun, and waited for Axel's face to appear at a moment's notice.

She waited beside Reno with... Pillow. She didn't have her stars, since they where in the other room.

"Wait. If shooting Axel hurts you, then why are you aiming at him with a loaded gun?" Yuffie questioned remembering what happened with Vincent and Axel.

Reno knew she was going to ask that. "I am aiming at him, because it's simply a gesture make him comply with us. Besides if I get hit again... I will be healed. Whatever it takes." Reno really hoped he wouldn't need to shoot, but if the occasion arose... he wouldn't think twice.

Axel was turning the final door knob on the second floor, what's behind door number three? A Turk with a gun, a Princess ninja with a pillow both waiting for Axel. "**Shit**."

**Current smoothies flavors are:**

**Strawberry, Blueberry, Mango, Bananna, Pineapple, apple, lemon, why in hell did I say that, Rabid squirells, and many many more! (Including Roxas flavored smoothie!)**

**Ask us about KH2 once this story is over. We will include a bonus chapter/mini rant about this and Cloud's instruction manual.. PARTY IN MY HOUSE WITH A STRIPPER VASH, CLOUD, VINCENT, RENO, AND MAYBE MORE! (Girls welcomed to come and strip also with the men.)**

**Note: I do not own anything listed above. Maybe helping with the creation of Roxas smoothies but nothing else.**

**PS Note: I do not have a stripper sadly and I fail at being one. So does Yuffie... WAAAAHHHH**

**PPS Note: THE END. **

**PPPS Note: the end of the story, but chapter. Seriously? it's ending pretty soon anyway..**

**PPPPS Note: PLEASE DON'T KILL US! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!**


	34. Fear the Rock Pillow FEAR IT

**AHAH! A newly wanted update(s) love(s) hate(s)**

**But by the time I post this up this story will be.. Finish.. Hides behind Magical Plushies of Reno, Yuffie, Kenshin, Tachcoma, Inuyasha, Chocobo, Domo-Kun and some others**

**BUT THE CRAZY MINDS OF BOTH OF US ARE STARTING ON SOMETHING NEW! Just to entertain ourselves for a bit. You can check my profile and suggest some stories/things to have a party about.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. G.A.W.D. And AP Chemistry sucks... Going to get my ass handed to me in that class.. . . . .  
**

Axel entered the room and as soon as the fellow red head slid into their room Reno kept a steady trigger finger. He loved that he caused Axel such annoyance. "Nice to see you too." "I bet you've been dying to see me." Axel growled back, he slowly walked in, hands up in defeat. He didn't like being in this situation, but he had to turn it around before Xemnas got really pissed off, really soon. Several plans where whirling through his head, to see if any of them could really work.

Reno would have rolled his eyes ordinarily, but he kept his eyes secured to Axel. "Oh yes, I missed you terribly. If it weren't for the fact that you want to rip out my heart I would have ravaged you on the bed right now. I just can't resist, I want you... I need you." He snorted. "Get real."

Yuffie rolled her eyes at Axel and she wanted the interrogation to begin. "Hokay first question," She raised her pillow threatening, which just got an eyebrow raise from Axel. "Why the hell are you chasing us?" Axel rolled his eyes at Yuffie and remained silent, and then a loud crack sounded as the ninja whacked Axel with her pillow. It was like the pillow had a decorated rock in it. "Wow. I think there is a decorated rock in this pillow. No way in hell am I sleeping on this." Yuffie commented.

Reno heard the crack and simply was astounded. What the hell was in that pillow? A brick? Whatever it was, he was glad it was there. "I wouldn't expect you to." Reno was annoyed with Axel refusing to answer, "I'd answer her if I were you." He pushed the gun slightly to the left of Axel's head and fired into the wall. "Axel, I'd answer her you sick sadistic fire loving son of a bitch." His look was that of a killer, eyeing their target. At the slightest movement he would react.

Axel didn't even move as the bullet flew past. "I'm sorry, but you're not my type to fuck on the bed. Neither is your little twiggy girlfriend over there with the brick pillow." The ninja didn't mind being called a brat but a little twiggy? That was pushing the exploding button on the little ninja.

Reno sneered, "Pitty, but I guess it's for the best." He knew as the words flew from Axel's lips that he was screwed. Nobody called Yuffie little or twiggy and wasn't in pain but moments later. So the great ninja whacked Axel again, not in the head with her brick pillow but in the groin. All men would have fallen over, and thankfully, Axel was one of them, a grin smeared Yuffie's face at Axel's keeled over body and groaning.

It was like poetry in motion really. The way the pillow connected, the way he doubled over in pain, and his groans of agony were like a verse of some sadistically beautiful poem. Reno wasn't a fan of poetry, not even in the slightest. However, if this were an actual poem... it would have been his favorite from now until eternity.

Carefully Yuffie rolled Axel over to look at him, "Now, if you want to avoid the pain again, I highly suggest you say something I want to hear. Kay?" She chirped like nothing really serious happened.

Axel debated on what to say until something popped in his mind, "Hokay something you want to hear? Nice ass and nice legs. Happy?" The grin disappeared from Yuffie and Axel really regretted his words as she lifted the pillow up again. "No I'm not happy." She growled sending the decorated rock pillow this time into his gut.

Reno's sneer soon returned followed with its best friend, death glare. "You fucking asshole... I'm going to obliterate you!" He had almost pulled the trigger at the Organization member in an angry haste. His vengeance was achieved when Yuffie again attacked. Served him right.

Axel had never felt this much pain before, let alone from a pillow. A FRIGGEN PILLOW! _Geeze,_ he won't hear the end of this from anyone for a long time, it was as bad as being called a fucking pansy by the little twig that was beating the shit out of him right now. "Fine. Just stop beating me with the rock right now!" Axel growled trying to get up. Yuffie's foot stopped him.

"Why would she do that? It's too damn entertaining, besides I'm kind of in a sadistic mood... so I'm kind of enjoying this." Reno found angry-kick-the-crap-out-of-people Yuffie kind of sexy for some weird reason. Keep your mind out of the gutter for now. There is plenty of time for that later.

"Yeah, no big deal at all. Just like it's no big deal if I ask Yuffie to nicely whack you in the groin again with the pillow." Reno had no idea why he hadn't been feeling any of the pain Axel had been receiving. Perhaps they only felt each others emotions, thoughts, and pain that broke skin and spilled blood. Who knew? Reno knew very little on the subject and was just glad that he had been spared.

"I will once I hear why you guys are so intent on finding us." The ninja growled back, learning from Vincent Freakin' Valentine. Axel glared back at the grinning Yuffie who was holding the rock.

"Kay then. I'll spill. We just want your hearts no big deal. Not to sure why Xmenas wants them since personally I don't think they're worth the trouble. So you can take that up with Xmenas when I don't come back and he starts to hunt you down." He looked up at Yuffie who removed her foot standing up, he dusted his back once again before the ninja sucker punched his lights out.

"Well thanks. Now it's bed time for you. Any ideas what to do with him Reno?" The ninja questioned the Turk as she poked the now unconscious Axel. "Well, we could undo some of the dead bolts on the closet in the laundry room and throw him in there. Unless you have a better idea." Reno answered.

"Can't he teleport?" Yuffie questioned looking back at Axel. "I think the laundry closet is a good idea, but maybe we should tie him up first." Looking around she really didn't find anything to tie his hands with, except the sheets. "Well, yes... but I think it's more involved than just wanting to teleport." He eyed Axel momentarily and then turned to face Yuffie. "Agreed." Reno too eyed the sheets and thought the better of it. "I can't believe I'm going to ask this." The ninja groaned, "Reno. Do you have a pair of handcuffs?"

"Um... Yuffie we should wait till after we take care of Axel for those kind of games! Let me check." Reno went over to his luggage and then felt something cold and metal. Car keys, a keychain, and... there they were. "Yep, they are right here!" He smiled like a kid on Christmas.

"Hokay one," She raised her finger, "These are not for me. Those handcuffs are for Axel so he can't teleport, or try to open the door or get out. So...Now to the laundry room's closet!" She chirped as she opened the door and headed downstairs to the laundry room. Within minutes she had the locks completely unlocked, and the door open for Axel's body to be dumped in there.

"Whoohoo!" Yuffie chirped as she picked up the phone, "Shall we call Rufus to pick up the trash, or wait?" She grinned at Reno, tonight was such a weird night. Correction the past few nights have been crazy and weird, tonight was nothing different.

"We could or we could wait and pick up where we had left off." Again a lecherous look made its way to his face. This night was not one to be wasted and he wanted to take full advantage of it. "Hmm. We could wait on the trash. We could also wait on picking up where we left off." Yuffie felt like teasing him again, teasing people was so much fun. Except Vincent, he never showed any emotion at all. "I personally thing that I want to eat some dinner." She waved at Reno after closing and locking the closet as she heading toward the kitchen to find something to eat. "No, we mustn't wait on picking up on where we left of... because you could forget where we were!" Reno was insistent, and was like a whinny child begging to get his toy back from the new kid at the playground.

"Fine! Dinner, and then straight back to before!" Reno followed closely behind and too tried to scour the place for something edible. "Jeeze Reno, I didn't know that you where a trained puppy." The ninja joked at him picking up his hair tie along the way and throwing it at him. "Trained puppy? I think not. Besides... what trained puppy knows how to take off clothes and kiss you like I can?" He sat down and waited for the chicken to be ready. Sure he wasn't really all that hungry, but if Yuffie was in need of food it couldn't hurt to eat a little as well.

"Missing something?" She joked as she opened the fridge looking for something to eat. There was some cold fried chicken in there that she pulled from the fridge into the microwave and started to de-frost it. "Maybe." Reno tied his hair back and soon he looked like his old self again. He wasn't a real fan of his hair not tied back, but most girls went crazy for his hair when it was down.

The ninja rolled her eyes at Reno as the microwave beeped, "Looks like the chicken just saved your ass. I could always just get the decorated pillow rock again." She taunted as she pulled out the chicken separated the pieces and gave some to Reno while she started to chow down on the rest.

"Well, then I thank the chicken whole heartedly. Yeah, but I don't think you would do that." Reno slowly picked at his food and ate every so often. "I've been wondering. Why the hell did the bed send us flying from the bed?" The ninja asked between bites of her chicken, it was very, very good. "Same here. I dunno... the bed was jealous? It had a mood swing? I dunno."

"The Great Ninja Princess of Wutia not taking up her threat? I think not." She finished her last bite of chicken pretty quickly.

"The bed has feelings? I think not, maybe Rufus was being a closet perv and felt jealous. I doubt he gets any dates because he's a faking crippled who everyone calls wheely." Yuffie commented as another weird thing appeared behind her. From the counter, a T.V. screen sprouted with a small camera on top and Rufus on the screen.

"Well you like me too much to hurt me. Yes the bed has feelings apparently. I wouldn't say that. He get's dates, I just don't know how many." Reno's eyes got big and tried not to laugh.

**Author comments will be kept to a minimum now, so... I'll be waiting for the death(??) mail.**


	35. Who Needs an Instruction Manual? Cloud

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THIS BUT I DO OWN THE HATE/LOVE/RABID MAIL! D**

Rufus coughed causing Yuffie to jump out of her seat swearing, and somewhat choking at the same time. "What the bloody hell?! Why the fuck do you have moody beds, super locks and now randomly sprouting T.V.s!! You are such a closet perv!!" She yelled still kinda freaked out about Rufus suddenly being there.

Yuffie's expression made him laugh though. Reno laughed uncontrollably and doubled over. Once he was capable of breathing he smiled, "Hi boss." Rufus remained silent for awhile until Reno stopped laughing and Yuffie freaking out. "I see both are you are still here. So what triggered the alarm?" He asked ignoring what he hear Yuffie say about him, he was so going to get payback for all the tricks that she had played on him in the last year.

"A chicken." Yuffie commented as seriously as she could, Rufus hardly responded. "I really doubt that Yuffie. You do suck at having a poker face sometimes. Reno?" He directed his stare now onto Reno hoping that he would get a straight answer this time.

Reno smiled and contemplated if he should actually answer truthfully. "Well, Axel triggered it actually. No worries, though we took care of him. He's currently locked in the laundry closet in handcuffs." He wasn't sure if Rufus would take him seriously, but he was completely telling the truth... this time.

Rufus sighed trying to see if he could accept that as the truth or not, then again Axel was still on the loose and wanted someone's heart so he decided to trust Reno's word. This time. "Fine. Keep him there until noon tomorrow. I'll bring Sora up here so we can 'return' him to his friends." Rufus smiled, Yuffie didn't like that smile because it make him look like he was going to eat the world for breakfast. Or something along those lines there.

"So umm.. Do you have anymore magical T.V.s that we should know about? Or hidden cameras? Or if the bed is going to kick us off of it again?" The ninja hoped she would get some kind of truthful response from him this time.

"Um... alright boss. See you then." Reno hated that grin. Hated it with a passion. It made him seem like the world was his puppet and he was simply toying with all of them. Reno desperately wanted a completely truthful answer to the cameras answer, because that could make or break a lot. "You'll have to find that out yourself Princess." Rufus answered before the screen went blank and the T.V. disappeared right back into the depths that it came from.

"Hokay. First, you're boss is super creepy. Two, he's a mad scientist. Three, I think he needs to be put into a crazy house. Four, this is so not cool man that he might be a closet perv and watching us!!" The ninja complained about Reno's boss, she really hated being locked into this well furnished cage. At least it was better than getting their hearts ripped out.

"Um... I'm not sure you should say that if he does have cameras and I kinda agree with part two." Reno would not agree to the others...even though he would, because if Rufus was watching he didn't need to lose his job. If it came down to it though, he would rather look Rufus in the face and tell him that he agreed with Yuffie rather than have his heart ripped out.

Yuffie rolled her eyes, "I really doubt he can much to a princess, but then again, he would do something wouldn't he." She looked around once again for the camera's finding none once again.

"**Gawd**. We have to wait until tomorrow at noon to annoy someones, or at least people we care about. Axel doesn't count. So any more plans for tonight or just stay up watching movies until we pass out without the beer?" The ninja questioned still looking for those damned cameras of the damned closet perv.

"Well he would do something, and I'd rather not find out what that is." Reno scrutinized the place carefully. He could never be too careful with Rufus Shinra. "Yeah, well patience is a virtue and all that useless shit. Well Rufus killed my plan with his now suspicious actions so... yeah, beer sounds amazing.

"Beer does sound amazing, but sadly I did not smuggle any in, unless you did. So we have to get drunk off of." Yuffie looked in the fridge, "Milk, Chocolate Milk, Water and some fruit drinks. Not the finest selection in the world." She looked in the freezer and nope, no stashed drinks, and none in the cabinets either.

Reno smiled, "Who do you think you are talking to? Of course I did! Reno ran off toward the bedroom and scrambled to his luggage. He pulled two large bottles of liquor and dashed back skidding a little on the linoleum as he stopped. "It's party time." Reno may have never bartended, but he had always found it entertaining to watch them mix their concoctions. "Unless you want to drink it straight, I would suggest bringing out some of those fruit drinks."

"DUDE YES!" Yuffie cheered, she so needed a drink. She pulled out the fruit drinks several cups and waited to see if Reno knew any of the bartender's fancy tricks. "Can you do those crazy tricks?" She questioned, knowing that Rufus might be pissed off that they where drinking now when they had a nobody in the house, only handcuffed. "Plus it's your turn to pick a movie in the huge stack." Yuffie added as a side note.

"Well I'm not picky so whatever you want is fine. I'm now going to astound you with my bartending skills." Reno flipped the bottle several times and caught it. He then uncapped it and flipped it and when he caught it upside down the alcohol spilled nicely into the glass about a fourth of the way full. Then he took two of the fruit juices, grape and strawberry and opened them. He juggled the two and flipped them. The two spun in midair as they switched sides and caught them. He poured them in with the alcohol and smiled. "Enjoy."

She raised her glass and clinked her's against Reno's before taking a sip. "Cheers!" She chirped as she vaulted over the couch then up the stairs to grab something she just remembered that she stole earlier in the day. Diving into her suitcase she pulled out a pair of chocobo boxers, which she placed on her head and some kind of manual for something.

Sliding down the staircase banner the ninja balanced herself, the manual and her drink down the stairs without spilling anything. Vaulting into the couch once more she waited for Reno to pick a movie as she started to flip through the book.

Reno downed his soon after "cheers." spilled from his lips. He watched as she ran all over the place and finally settled down on the couch. Reno flipped through the DVDs and settled on Hellboy. It was a pretty good choice seeing as Yuffie loved weird. "I hope this movie is ok. What the hell do you have there?"

She looked up with a straight face. "Good question. I stole both of these from Cloud. This book was in these boxers. Sorry, the book isn't porn, but some kind of manual. I think it's for his multi-pieced sword-o-doom." Yuffie continued to flip through it still with the boxers on her head as she continued to sip away at her drink. "Soooo," She looked up, "What movie are we watching now?"

"Well, I was going to say that if it was, that I guess I really didn't know Cloud Strife all th at well." Reno laughed a little and pressed play as he flopped down on the couch. "He needs a manual? I never would have figured." Reno took a large swig of his drink. "We are watching Hellboy."

"Hahaha. I've read your mind. And I have to say Cloud's instruction Manual is freakin' weird. I mean, it says to steal a Yaoi fangirl's panties.. That's like... Weird..." She shivered at the thought of Mr. Chocobo Head stealing undies, let alone some random chick's panties. "Dude yeah! Hellboy! Abe is by far the coolest character I've seen for a long time. Tis good fun."

"Ok, that is the oddest shit I have heard in a long time, and believe me I've heard some crazy shit." Reno's mental image mad him laugh and shudder at the same time. "Abe is awesome, but you have to admit Hellboy is just as awesome." "I've heard some crazier shit in my lifetime at Wutai in my lifetime. _Noo._ Abe is so much awesome-r than Hellboy personally." She grinned at Reno as the movie finally started. "Here you might enjoy looking at this." Yuffie handed Reno Cloud's boxers instead of the instruction manual. She grinned evilly at the potential confusion on Reno's face.

"Whatever, I like them both equally." Reno turned his gaze at the movie, but soon found himself looking incredulously at her. "Why would I want these?" He picked them up by the waistband and made a confused face. "Good question." She grinned back giving him the sword manual this time. She really didn't want to fight him once again to try and keep the book away from him. He always won, or at least most of the time. Yuffie returned her attention back to the movie, for awhile at least.

Reno rolled his eyes and eyed the book. "Are you kidding me? Here, read this." He turned his attention to the movie and tried to process what he had just read. Yuffie quickly glanced at the text, then did a double take. Her brain could have just melted and might be draining out of her ears. She threw the book over her shoulder, she never wanted to read that thing again. "I think I'm going to correct my earlier statement. That might just be a porn-o book."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was too. Let's not speak of this again the entire night." Reno paid attention to the movie and tried to get disturbing images out of his head. _What the hell was Cloud's problem? _"Agreed." The ninja commented, but it was almost cut short by a thump, then a swear from the laundry room. "Looks like our red headed fish woke up." Yuffie commented as Axel started to swear like a mad sailor, not as mad as Cid though. Reno just turned his head in the direction of the laundry room. "Would you look at that? I bet he misses us dearly."


	36. Let's make CAKE CAAAKKKEEE!

**Disclaimer: Mmm... Tacos.. Not really.. Still down own this... Excuse me while I cry.**

"So what do you want to do, let him yell or knock him out again to enjoy our movie? I can always get the decorated rock." Reno heard him cursing and laughed. "Don't go through all that trouble. A little tape should do." Then Reno smiled, "Though, the rock is very tempting." "So, do you want to do the honors of duck-taping his mouth shut or knocking his face back in? You're choice. I vote for the rock." She grinned at Reno waiting to see what he might do, it was very rare that she got to beat the living shit out of someone with a rock pillow, or watch someone do that.

Reno thought about it. He would love to bash Axel's head in, but there was just something about the way Yuffie did it. "No, I think I will let you bash his head in." Reno waited for Yuffie to jump up and grab her weapon.

"I will do that if you will make me a cake." Yuffie was just craving cake for no real reason, she waited to see if Reno would say yes. Then she would instantly rush to obtain her weapon and deal some damage to the man that had really screwed things up. Maybe she should do that to Reno's phone also.

"I don't know how to cook though. I couldn't make an actual cake to save my life." Reno had never been able to cook; even when he was little he burnt everything. His mother had always told him that he better marry someone who knew how to or he'd be screwed. The ninja stared at him, and stared. "You can't even bake a cake that has instructions on the side? That's lame. Then I'm not going to silence Axel. You'll have to do it." Yuffie leaned back in the couch and continued to watch the movie, ignoring Axel's yells and swearing.

Reno grimaced, "I could try, but I make no promises." He hoisted himself off of the couch and made his way into the kitchen. Reno didn't find any 'easy to make' cakes and so he would have to try to make it from scratch. Reno pulled out two eggs, milk, flour, vanilla extract, chocolate and everything. He cracked the eggs, mixed the ingredients, managed to cover himself in flour, and then pulled out the mixer.

Yuffie tried her best to hold her laughter in but that didn't work well when the flour exploded in Reno's face. She just had to let go of her laughter which had a hidden giggle-snort in it also, who couldn't resist? "Reno... You look like Casper the Friendly Turk Ghost." Oh how she loved to say cheesy comments about anyone and everyone when she felt like it.

The brilliant machine luckily made the perfect batter and now all he had to do was pour the beautiful chocolate mixture. Reno had already preheated the oven and so he just said a silent prayer as he slid the cake batter in. "Pray that it doesn't suck."

Yuffie waited for the cake to finish to see if it was good so she could beat the crap out of Axel for Reno again. She prayed that it was good so she can just pig out on it; maybe they had some frosting somewhere. The ninja leaped from the couch and started to look for some, thankfully there was a box of chocolate frosting hidden in one of the cabinet's corners. "Today seems like my lucky day!" Yuffie chirped holding up the can of chocolate frosting.

Reno had just laughed off her comment about the flour and simply dusted it all off once the cake was safely in the oven. He hoped that the cake was good, and hoped that Axel got good and bloody once Yuffie was done with him. Reno felt sorry for him a little... the keyword being a little. Reno didn't like Axel, but he didn't hate him. Was it possible for him to? Wasn't Axel a part of him? Reno decided it didn't matter, either way he couldn't hate Axel. "Looks like."

Like any girl would do if they loved chocolate, the ninja grabbed a spoon and took a spoonful of the chocolaty frosting and ate it. In one big bite, "Mmm. Delicious. I hope your cake can stand up to this frosting Reno!" She grinned with a little bit of chocolate still on her teeth and lips. Yuffie was not a very clean eater when it came to chocolate. "How much longer till it's done?" The ninja questioned temped to take another bite out of the frosting.

Reno just looked at her like she had two heads. The chocolate was smeared across her lips and he found it very odd, but also cute. "You and me both Yuff." He looked at the cake and then shrugged, "About five or six minutes."

Yuffie groaned, if it didn't come out of the oven soon she was going to start chowing down on the chocolate frosting for no real reason. So she returned to the couch without the frosting and waited, for only a few minutes before she started to explore the movie selection more thoroughly. Which only lasted about another minute. After that she stared at the counter from the couch, waiting.

Reno just drummed his fingers on the counter to the beat of the song stuck in his head as the minutes carried on. Soon only two minutes remained and he caught Yuffie's glances as she stared. "You know, I doubt the cake will be ready faster with you staring at it." He knew she was impatient, but he never thought she was almost as impatient as him.

"I wish the cake would be ready faster with me staring at it. That would be like a super-awesome power to have. If I ever get super powers I totally want it where what I stare at cooks faster. Then I CAN COOK HUMANS! NYUCK!" The ninja started to evil laugh, which turned into an evil giggle-snort, which just turned into plan laughing at her own snorting.

"Well I wish that too." Reno watched as there was a minute remaining and then he just cringed. "Yeah, but if I came out in a towel and then you stared at me... there would be a huge problem!" Reno doubted he would taste as good as a cheeseburger. "Who ever said that I would stare at you when you came out of the shower?" The ninja questioned, teasing Reno, she forgot about the cake for a minute and started to think about her cooking eye vision powers. What kind of adventures could Yuffie have with that kind of power? Something that most people wouldn't want happening anytime soon.

"Um... past history has proven that fact." Reno knew she was teasing him, but he just played along. Soon there were mere seconds separating Yuffie from his chocolaty creation. "Almost done!" The ninja finally licked off the rest of the chocolate frosting from her face still waiting behind the couch. "Nu-uh. I only looked at you what.. Ten seconds? Then you walked away, or I did. I don't remember, too much happening in such a short amount of time." Yuffie commented still wiping her face making sure that there wasn't anymore chocolate on it.

"More like ten minutes! Don't remember or remember, but don't want to say anything?" He jested as he pulled the cake out of the oven. "Ready!" "WHOOHOO!" Yuffie cheered as she tried to vault over the couch, that didn't work well when the back of your foot is caught. So over the couch the ninja went, but into the ground she landed, not very gracefully either. She rebounded up from the floor, not even a bruise in sight and headed over to the oven to see if Reno's cake was... Yummy.

Reno was surprised that the ninja's fall barely seemed to faze her. Most girls whined or made a big deal about it. _Not Yuffie I guess. _Reno set the cake on the counter and waited for it to cool a little. Within seconds the ninja had frosting in one hand and a knife in the other, she cheered with glee that was until she saw something in the hallway leading to the laundry room.

"How the fuck did you get out?"


	37. Chocolate Covered Pansys ALWAYS LOOSE!

**Disclaimer: Now I want some cow print.. And this..**

Yuffie blinked at the now grinning Axel with some bruises and a bleeding nose. "Aww fuckin' hell." The ninja groaned looking behind Axel, it was the big scary white haired man, Xemnas or whatever the hell his name was. The ninja was weaponless, unless you count the knife she was holding, which isn't much. At all.

Reno turned around instantly and saw Axel a little bloody and bashed up. "Oh shit. What now?" His question was answered instantly with Xemnas's presence.

"Who the hell are you?" Reno didn't know his name, but he didn't need to know it to know that this man was not on their side.

Yuffie looked over to the right, then the left, she might be able to run upstairs to grab some kind of weapon that might stand a chance but she needed a couple of seconds. She looked down at the frosting, then the knife, then the spoon on counter. She calmly grabbed the spoon and put it into the frosting.

"Hokay Reno. I know how much you must love that cake. But it must be sacrificed to save our asses. I'll bake you a cake once we're out of here. Kay?" Reno just stared and then tried to think of a plan. Yuffie was a bit quicker though.

"Hell, sacrifice the cake. Better it than us." He threw the entire cake at the two and dashed toward the bedroom. He searched for something that would work against the two. His mag rod would have to do even though it didn't have much of an affect on Axel last time.

As quick as a frosting slinging ninja, the female ninja threw the frosting in to Axel's face and started to bolt up the stairs trying to get into the second bedroom, into her suitcase and too her weapons.

Axel was about to utter an insult to Yuffie as she stood there but that didn't last long when frosting landed straight into his face.

The ninja dived into her bag, grabbed her shurkins and was promptly dragged away from the bag from, not Axel but Mr. Not-so-scary-yet-now-scary-bad-guy-Xemnas. Yuffie didn't see any frosting or cake on him, so she assumed that he was smarter, and faster than Mr. Copycat-Axel.

"Oh shit." Yuffie muttered as she was quickly dragged away from the suitcase, she flipped over and glared at Xemnas. She threw her shurkins, which did hit him but do much to stop him from attacking her. Several blows here and there, not to mention being thrown into the wall.

"Not much of a fight Princess Yuffie Kisaragi. Now I can really make fun of Axel this time around." Xemnas laughed as Yuffie sent a decorated rock pillow his way, which did some damage this time.

"Why you arrogant little bitch." He growled as the ninja sent another pillow attack his way straight in the face, which knocked him to the side as Yuffie bolted out of the room.

"Rufus I pray that you have an escape hot-rod some where!" The ninja muttered jumping downstairs on top of Axel smashing him to the ground as she darted away looking for some keys.

Reno tried to think of an escape plan. Out the window it was! Reno smashed the locks with his mag rod and then burst through the glass and landed a little awkwardly on his feet. He then ran around and found that there was a garage.

Reno broke the lock on the garage and hoisted the door up. He saw it and immediately loved what he found. A cherry red motorcycle sat in the garage calling him with a beautiful siren song. Reno dashed to the bike and jumped on. He sped out front and saw Yuffie. "Hop on and hold tight."

Yuffie bolted over to Reno with a very angry chocolate covered Axel and a even a very pissed off Xemnas tailing her.

"You better hurry up Rennnooo!" The ninja yelled as she hopped onto the bike and wrapped her arms around Reno tightly, she really didn't want to fall off and be heartless meat.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Axel yelled still wiping chocolate off of his face chasing the two of them.

"This little bitch just beat the shit out of you! WITH CHOCOLATE! PANSY!" Yuffie yelled back over the roar of the motorcycle.

Reno smiled at her comment and continued on. As soon as Yuffie had a secure hold on him Reno bolted from that place. "Hold on tight." He sped up as fast as he could so they would loose the two. Reno knew his way around a bike and knew just how to handle one in this situation.

Axel stood there and growled as Xemnas glared at the chocolate covered Axel. Xemnas rolled his eyes and opened up a portal and out came... A huge party, pretty much an army of heartless and some more black leather wearing party goers. "All right boys. We have a party hunt going on. One Ninja Princess and one Turk. Have fun; first one that gets the ninja gets to hear about the grand battle between Axel and the Ninja Princess."


	38. Near Death by Motorcycle, DON'T DO IT!

**Disclaimer: I want some Turkies.. And a certain Turk.. TEE-HEE. But I don't.. **

"I do hope you can find your way back to your Turkey buddies. 'Cause we have a huge PROBLEM!" Yuffie called over to Reno as she looked over her shoulder. It was a freaking wave of 'OH SHIT-O' goodness. Reno nodded and hit a button on the handle bars. The pair shot of like a rocket toward the general direction of Rufus and the Turks. Reno weaved away from large rocks and other hindrances and tried to plan how to shake their new attackers.

"You know what. I freakin' give up on trying to figure out why the hell Rufus has all of this shit for all of these situations!" Yuffie yelled still glancing over her shoulder at the huge ass hunting party for them.

"You know... I do hope Mr. Closet Perv can handle something like this. He wasn't able to handle Axel last time I checked." Reno could feel them gaining and hated to use this button. It was only in emergencies.

"This is my bike, not Rufus's. Now hold on tightly or you're dead." He wasn't joking. He pressed the button and everything around them seemed to move in blurs. They were numb to the rest of the world. It was just them and the bike.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIITTT!!" Yuffie yelled as well, they started to go, really, really fucking fast. The ninja prayed that she would b e able to stick onto Reno as everything blurred by. Also that they wouldn't die in some stupid fiery crash of hell, or be beheaded by some evil branch.

"Then let me **revise** my question. Why the fuck you do have something like this?! Just to out do Cloud on Mrs. Black and Shiny?" She yelled over the roar of the rushing wind, and the growl from the O-SHIT-Os Wave behind them.

Reno wasn't sure if Yuffie was going to be able to hold on if he boosted the bike up to two. Reno placed his hand over Yuffie's and he turned the dial. They zoomed ahead of the wave of heartless and Nobodies. Reno knew how to maneuver the bike one handed and they were in no imminent danger.

Yuffie held on tighter and swore that within a second she would be one big red and orange smear on the ground. Princess of huge ass smear on the ground and future road kill here. Not the greatest title of all, but that wouldn't matter when the ninja died from Reno and his bike.

"I've been on Cloud's bike and it's a snail compared to this one, but I do like the minor fact that I won't DIE on his bike!" Yuffie yelled, she would never get on Reno's bike again... EVER. The ninja promised not to even steal or touch it, well maybe steal any gil or good stuff inside it, but not the bike itself.

Reno just laughed, "Yeah it is, and I promise you won't die. I would never let it happen." He was pretty sure that she wouldn't believe him, but he hoped that she did.

They saw the Shinra building soar into view and their assailants miles behind them. "Because I bought it with my own money and I wanted one. Besides I can't bring a helicopter everywhere. No, I don't want to out do Cloud, but if I did... well then that's great." Reno saw the glass doors ahead and looked back. "Get your head underneath the back of my shirt." Reno waited for the impact.

"Wait why do you want me to hide under your shirt?" She questioned, while she was reaching forward into Reno's front pocket trying to grab his cell phone to call people for help. The Turkey had his Turkey friends that can only do so much, but she had super gravity defying buddies, and someone with an airship. Instead of a pimped out wheelchair.

"Hide or you might get scratched up by all the glass." Reno felt Yuffie reaching for his pockets, "Yuffie! Now is not the time for that, it's much appreciated, but later!" They were two seconds from hitting the doors.

"I'm trying to grab your PHONE!" Yuffie yelled back as she saw the doors. "SHIIIIiiiIIT!" She squeaked as she hid herself as best as she could behind Reno. I am so going to die, Yuffie thought as the glass doors seemed to magically appear right in front of them. All the ninja could think of is what kind of stuff she should have done, like run around in Cloud's boxers in the house. Maybe when they lived through all of this.

Reno laughed as the glass shattered around them in a brilliant waterfall motion. He clicked the bike down to one and saw Rude walking toward the pair, "Push the damn elevator button!" Rude scrambled toward the elevator doors and pushed the indicator for up.

Reno shifted the bike again and they simply were going as fast as Cloud's bike. He gave it a few seconds and started to break. The pair skidded forward and then went at an angle into the elevator seconds after it opened. They came to a complete and utter stop and the stillness of everything seemed so obscure. Reno took the keys out of the ignition and looked back at Yuffie who had a death grip on his waist. "You ok?"

Yuffie blinked, freaking amazed that she just didn't freakin' die. She just sat there completely stunned for a couple of seconds before exploding.

"No. I am NOT ok! Do I look OK after going through a huge pane of glass at one hundred fucking miles per hour?! I nearly DIED here! SO I AM NOT OK. Not to mention the huge wave of Shit-Os is coming and well, that doesn't help matters either! Now give me your phone." Yuffie yelled as she released her grip and got off the bike. She held her hand out, which was shaking with the rest of her, for Reno's phone.

"You look pretty ok to me. Face is fine, body... still molestable, and hey look you're still breathing. You're a little shaken up but you'll get over it soon." Reno nodded, "Yeah, but they're like forty or fifty minutes behind us. So we have time to plan. No, I'm not. I'm pretty sure everyone is already here anyway." Reno pushed the button to take them to Rufus's board room.

The ninja was very tempted to hit him for that comment but she was sadly interrupted by the elevator doors opening to the right floor. Following Rude out of the elevator and to the board room, sadly Reno was right, everyone was there.

"Holy shit Yuffie! Why the hell do you have glass in your hair?!" Tifa questioned rushing over to her looking at the glass in the ninja's hair.

"Well about two minutes ago I just went through the glass in the front of this building, so, I guess it came from there. Also Reno was driving his bike through it at about one hundred miles per hour, faster than Cloud's tricycle." Yuffie commented glaring at Reno. Hearing that both Vincent and Cloud glared at Reno, Yuffie was pretty sure both of them are going to drag Reno to a dark, scary alleyway and make good on their threats.

Reno stepped out of the elevator and pulled his bike along with him. He leaned it against the wall and glanced around the room. Everyone was here, and they were all staring at him and Yuffie.

"Well it was necessary because we had a frick load of heartless and a gang of Nobodies on our asses. Oh and Cloud how is your tricycle?" Reno smirked at the glares he received, "What? It's not like I haven't gone faster you know! I only put it on two not six!" Reno brushed off their death glares.

"Ok so how about we remedy our problem and then kill me for driving recklessly?" Cloud, Vincent and even Cid was glaring at him but agreed to his proposal. Yuffie thought all of this was really, REALLY, weird.

"Umm. Tifa did I miss something?" Yuffie whispered to the barmaid.

"I'm not sure... It does seem a little weird doesn't it?" Tifa replied, picking the glass out of Yuffie's hair.

"Really weird." The ninja was going to say something else until Vincent came up to her, which is even weirder. Yuffie was going on a huge ass vertigo trip with how people where acting.

"Can I talk to you?" He muttered, Yuffie nodded not sure if she should refuse, after all she did suddenly appear, disappeared, re-appeared, disappeared once again and re-appeared with glass in her hair. So she followed him out into the hall while the rest remained inside and started to plan away their counter attack.


	39. Silver Hair is Gray Hair is BAD Maybe

"Alright now that that's over. What exactly are we going to do about our problem? Frankly my weapon won't work, and hell there isn't much we can do if the same goes for your weapons." Rufus stood up.

"We shall discuss that in one moment, but first we need to figure out exactly how we can defeat them. We are out numbered even with the amount of Turks on our side." Reno watched as Vincent and Yuffie left and he couldn't help but wonder what that was all about.

"Hokay Vincent. What do you want to talk about?" Yuffie asked, turning to face Vincent Freakin' Valentine, who sadly wasn't as cuddly and squeaky as Mr. Squeak Mc Squeaken.

"Yuffie I don't want you to be with Reno."

"Why?"

"Bad influence."

"Bad Influence?" Yuffie questioned, that was somewhat true, but not really. Vincent nodded and the ninja rolled her eyes, at his nod.

"This all kind of started because I stole something." Yuffie commented back, thinking of what started all of this random shit.

"That doesn't matter. I still don't want you to be with him."

"Well that's freakin' bull. I mean seriously, you don't want me to be with someone that's ALIVE. You? You have a freaking crystal chick. I'm sorry but you should seriously marry that infested mako crystal, it would look great next to your coffin." Yuffie's stress was finally exploding from her, she handled stress well, until it blew up inside of her.

"Don't get me started on Cloud, I've been so freaking bored these last few months that I've resorted to exploding random CAIT SITHS all over the freakin' place! You? You don't help being a Mr. Emo-Brooding-Emo-Pansy-Emo-Mylovertotallybackstabbedmeandisinafuckingmakocrystal. Besides, Cloud is about to kill me and well I really don't wanna go back to whatever might be left of Wutai quite yet." Oh the great ninja wasn't done yet, she was just breathing.

"Ya know, this whole entire running for my life for the past few days, I'm kind of tired, wishing for a good night of sleep without worrying about my heart being ripped out of my chest kind of crap. You know you're nice and everything, but SERIOUSLY get over your DEAD EX!" Breathing slightly hard now she glared at Vincent, kind of happy she finally said that, that was one of her wishes. To say that to Vincent before she died, and well if everything didn't go well she might die so one thing off of the list.

"Hokay I bitched the crap out of you. Anything you wish to say?" Yuffie crossed her arms waiting for Vincent's reply, he was kind of stunned. Normally the ninja did nothing like this, so it kind of blew part of his brain out of his head.

The entire board room could hear her and everyone just stared in the direction of the door. Reno smirked and thought, 'You tell him.' He was glad that he wasn't the only one who thought it was creepy and weird that he was pining away for some dead chick in a crystal. You don't date anyone with something that's more of a hindrance than a freaking chastity belt of doom. A chick in a crystal was definitely over qualified in that area.

As she started to end her vicious and venomous rant Reno turned on his heel and looked at every single wide eyed person in the room. "That could be you next. Anyone else want to object to me spending time with Yuffie?" His smirk was the epitome of the word devilish.

"Yuffie I still don't want you to be with him."

"Vincent fuck you and your crystal chick. Even though you're old enough to be like my grandfather, you're not. So shove off already. I can't wait forever for someone like you." Now the ninja finally released all of her stress she re-entered the board room with people staring.

"Aww. Shit. You guys heard me yelling. Well..." She looked around, "This is fucking embarrassing... Sora I want a hug." Yuffie muttered holding her arms out to Sora who gladly gave her a hug, she was always cuddly, like a ninja teddy bear. Vincent didn't even bother returning into the board room, he would hear about the plan later, so instead he went down the elevator and waited in the front entrance with glass all over.

"It's ok. We didn't hear much about you and Grandpa Vinny." Reno remarked. Rufus cleared his throat and the room became deathly silently.

"Now, we must discuss this rationally and not panic. First off, Reno your weapon will be not a problem. Right Sora?" Rufus smiled at the small keyblade master.

"Now, yes we are out numbered... however we have something they don't." Reno and everyone just stared. "We have some form of secret weapon and you didn't tell us?" Rufus paid Reno no mind and continued on.

"We have... silver haired men!"

**TEE-HEEE!!**


	40. Oh funbox,fun box,small,square and dark!

**I bet all of you love/hate the super update... MWAUAHHAHAHHAA!! Eyetwich**

The doors at the back of the boardroom burst open and Loz and Yazoo sauntered forward toward the group. The leather clad individuals simply scanned the room with their eyes and then looked at Rufus. They were not the only ones to emerge though, after the doors had shut they swung open violently. Kadaj in rock star fashion walked out and eyed all of them warily with his brilliant mako eyes. The silver hair that hung in his face swirled about his face as he moved his head slightly to inspect the assembly that had gathered.

He may have looked like a pretty harmless sixteen or seventeen year old boy, but Reno and most of the others in the room knew better. "Long time no see Cloud." His eyes targeted Cloud like a heat seeking missile. Then Kadaj's eyes landed on Riku. "Why... who is this? Perhaps a brother of ours?" Kadaj scrutinized Riku and he circled like a wolf on a deer.

"Silver hair, mako eyes... yes you must be a brother." A childish smile smoothed itself on his lips. Rufus stopped it promptly, "Kadaj, now is not the time."

Yuffie stared at Rufus like he just grew another deformed scary head, with her jaw dropping. She turned around to see Cloud glaring at Kadaj and Riku being highly confused by the silver haired men.

"Hokay I HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM WITH THIS." Yuffie growled letting Sora go, she went over to protect Riku from the silvered haired men, Sora followed her. Riku was kind of 'emo' at times, but the ninja still like him, not to mention he was Sora's friend.

"First. WHY THE **FUCK** ARE THEY BACK? Seriously. This week has been SO f'ed up it's not even funny." She glared at Kadaj continuing.

"Second, I do not trust them one little bit, third! Riku is so not your brother. Also I don't like the fact that the pansy looking one is like pure evil, and the manly one is a real pansy. Seriously? Meanie? What the hell man? Then Kadaj, mother complex much? Also how are they going to help us? Bring freakin' miss alien mother back and kill us all? I think Reno and I are better off fighting these guys by ourselves." Yuffie concentrated her look on Reno.

"You may have a problem with it, but we need them. We have a truce of sorts, and they will not violate it." Rufus stared each of the three dead in the eye. "Of course not. If someone is going to end the world... it should be us." Kadaj spoke as the other two nodded. "Why should we let them defeat you and spoil all our fun?" Kadaj may have been evil, but he was such a child sometimes. He was like a child refusing to share his toy with the other children on the playground.

Kadaj's smile disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, "How do you know?" Yazoo knelt down in front of Riku and moved his head just so as he examined him. "He looks very much like one of us. Really... he could be our brother." The tallest of the silver haired men stood back up and walked back to where he had been.

Kadaj's eyes narrowed, "Who are you calling a pansy, ninja? If I were you I would watch what I say." She hit a cord that never should have been hit. Kadaj drew his sword at directed it just close enough to were he could easily puncture her jugular vein, "Don't. Talk. About. Mother. EVER." His words dripped venom through gritted teeth that gave emphasis to each of his words.

Yuffie rolled her eyes at Kadaj, "Jeeze. Getting all up-tight about your mother in a box, which is just a head. Man, such pansy baby. Seriously, if you wanted you can just kill me now and everything will be fixed, maybe. Except maybe a huge uprising about Wutai's only Princess being killed but that's not really important." The ninja was really tired of something trying to kill her, almost everything was, even the freakin' AIR!

"Yuffie," Holy crap Cloud was TALKING! "I personally don't like this, but we do need... Their... Help.." Yuffie stared like Cloud just turned into a chocobo right there and then. HE SAID HELP!

She turned around to face Rufus, "Pray tell us the conditions that these guys are back, alive, breathing, and helping us. Plus why they haven't tried to kill us yet and take over the world." Yuffie growled at Rufus, giving him the best glare she could muster. The ninja was glad that Reno didn't try vaulting the table to tackle Kadaj to the ground for almost killing her. She was **so** going back home to Wutai if they lived through this.

Kadaj simply glared at her and returned his sword so it was kept out of sight. Reno had been contemplating beating the shit out of him, but actually restrained himself. However, he did want to swear angrily at the mako eyed youth.

Rufus looked at Yuffie, "I myself do not know how they came back into existence, but we should be... glad that they are back." The word glad seemed to disgust Rufus like eating sludge. "Like I said, we have an understanding and a truce. Enough with the questions they agreed to help us and so now we shall defend ourselves." He seemed to be getting a little annoyed with the questions.

"Now Sora, can you help Reno out with his weapon situation?" Reno was just confused.

Yuffie stared at Rufus, "You know. If I had a materia orb I would chuck it at your little blond head. Sadly I don't. Consider it a blessing." Sora rolled his eyes at the ninja and started to drag her out with Reno.

"Hokay time for us to go and get Reno's new stuff." Sora stated as they exited the room and went up the elevator a couple of levels.

"Well that was really interesting. I can't wait for a huge birthday party for those two year olds." Yuffie joked receiving an eye-roll from Sora. "What did I do Sora? Now I feel guilty and I want a hug. But not from you!" The ninja's brain was keeling over and having a heart attack from the mood swings, so she just wanted hugs for some strange reason. So Yuffie went to get one from Reno as the elevator door open, so it was just a really quick hug.

Reno just rolled his eyes and followed Sora to the elevator. Reno hugged Yuffie back before exiting the confines and following the small keyblade master down the halls.

Sora smiled ignoring the fact that he just had lost a hug, he continued to walk down the hallway with Yuffie and Reno following him around random corners and into a random room with a box that had some fabric over it.

"Well. That's magically awesome. A box with a piece of fabric on it." Yuffie commented on the box. Sora grinned and pulled the fabric off of the so called magical box.

Reno had never been to this part of Shinra Corp. So when he found a box with fabric over it all that did was add to his confusion. He wasn't surprised that Yuffie let out a smart assed comment about it either. Like a magician reviling his final trick to the audience Sora had pulled off the fabric and reviled something unexpected.

"Behold."

"Da fuck?" The ninja stared at the box.


	41. Free Keyblades, Free Ipods, Deadly Army!

**Disclaimer: GAWD So tired of it.. Still don't own that line or this story.**

"A keyblade? Why in the hell is there a keyblade here?" He thought about it for a moment.

"You want to give me a keyblade? I can't... only you can use a keyblade... right?"

"Wrong. If you haven't noticed, Riku and Kairi both have keyblades. So we've been jazzing things up here, and thanks to a little slip by Axel earlier we managed to get you a keyblade. Details of course are classified, so sorry Yuffie."

The ninja pouted, she loved hearing fun details about somewhat illegal or dangerous things.

"We also have some goodies for you Yuffie." This brought a huge grin to the ninja's face.

"Booyah! I want to see this!" The ninja was extremely excited about her new stuff, so when Sora opened up a door she squeaked with joy. A brand new super-sized shurkin and mini shurkins, plus some nifty armor like things.

Reno just gawked at it and turn ed to Sora. He wasn't sure what to do to thank him. "Thanks... I know that sounds stupid, but I mean it." He simply stared at it a little longer before he even dared to pick it up. The handle was a dark black color with small designs carved into it. The rest of the blade was the same red as his magnificent hair. Twisted around the handle were silver attachments similar to wings. The top of the key is simple with jagged deathly black prongs. Reno picked it up and he felt a jolt run through his system.

The wing attachments seemed to move outward and then close back in and at the top toward the prongs there were small silver jagged teeth stuck out on the same side at the prongs. He noticed if you looked at them the right way that they looked like helicopter blades. He smiled and waved it once more. The teeth sunk back in and he smiled at Yuffie. He noticed at the bottom of the handle two small key chains dangled. One was of a small helicopter and the other was a small red chocobo. "What do you think?"

Yuffie looked over her shoulder as she fitted pieces of her new armor onto herself. "Nice key-chain by the way. You so do look like a red Chocobo, maybe next Halloween you should dress up as one." She was slowly moving around to get used to the armor and see what limitations it had.

Reno just scoffed, "Yeah, yeah... I've heard that one before. Only if you dress up with me." Reno looked over to Sora. "Am I getting any armor or do you think I'm fine in this. I'm pretty good with what I have."

"You don't need armor with that thing." Yuffie answered for Sora as she strapped her super-sized surikin grinning at him.

"So you owe me a nice sushi dinner and let's say whoever takes out the most heartless gets a free drink. Agreed?" Whenever entering battle Yuffie loved to make some kind of bet, mostly with Cid.

"Ok... I will take you out for sushi and whoever takes out the most heartless... should get the other person as their personal slave, for a week." Reno was feeling pretty cocky about who was going to take out the most heartless.

"Personal slave for a week? Nah, I have plenty of those back at Wutai. How about the looser has to run around in Cloud's boxers for one full day, and keep them away from him?" That seemed like more fun to the great ninja as she started to hide mini-stars all over her person.

"I guess not." Reno just slung it across his shoulders and walked over to her. "You may have had slaves before but I haven't. If I win, you're my slave for a week. If you win, I will steal Strife's boxers and keep them away from him. Deal?" Reno hoped that she would agree.

"I'm ready to party, are you guys?" Pretty much decked out in armor, and weapons Yuffie looked like she was going to battle a huge ass army of zombies, but instead she was doing that with heartless. Even better.

"I'm ready to kick some ass." Reno declared happily. He wanted to kick some heartless ass, and he was going to get just that.

The ninja thought about the idea for a bit and decided to change it up a little. "You will have to steal the Chocobo boxers put them on and run around in them for a full day. Then I'm in." She grinned holding her hand out, the ninja would make sure that she won, she didn't want to loose again.

"Agreed. Sweet." Reno shook her hand and hoped that he got swamped by heartless. For once... that was a good thing.

"Let's get this party started!" Yuffie cheered as she skipped behind Sora down the hall to the elevator and to the main floor, which looked like a huge army meeting hall. Everyone was yelling out random orders, getting things set up and there was Rufus . Still in a suit with his stupid blond head, without a pimped out wheel-chair. Maybe because Yuffie stole it and bejeweled the living shit out of it, ah good times. The ninja thought grinning.

Reno followed them into the elevator and simple beamed when he saw them all. This was what a real Shinra army should look like. Reno walked and stood next to Yuffie, "Think you're ready?"

Yuffie looked at Reno like he was crazy. "I'm a Princess Warrior if you have already forgotten. I'm always ready." She wanted to win this bet and bad, she wanted to annoy the crap out of Reno when he started to run around in boxers.

Reno just shrugged, "You never know." Reno was not going to run around in another man's boxers. There was no way on earth that was going to happen. For a minute he wondered what he was going to do to Yuffie once she was his slave. Well there was more time for that later.

Rufus had arrived, "Alright you two. Yuffie you're with Alpha group and Reno you're with me." Yuffie sighed and nodded, she headed off towards where Rufus had pointed as he walked the other direction. Getting closer to the group she discovered it's commander. Mr. Emo-Vampire. Oh shiiitt.. The ninja thought as she walked closer to the group.

Reno followed Rufus over to their group which consisted of the three silver haired men and thankfully Rude. Why was he cursed? Well, at least Rude was there. "Yo, Rude!" Rude just nodded at him and Reno was pretty sure he was eyeing Reno's new keyblade.

"Well this is awkward." Yuffie muttered as Vincent glanced at her and gave the men some final instructions. She eyed him warily as he started to move, towards the small wall made of some metal boxes. Carefully the ninja followed him, expecting him to try to kill her or something like that. Instead he looked through a pair of binoculars toward the oncoming wave of heartless and crap.

"I still don't want you to be with him. But I can't do anything about it." Vincent growled, or that's what it sounded like to Yuffie.

"Well we better get ready since they're nearly here." The ninja commented pulling out her large star waiting for the first battle cry, or order. Noticing something on one of the metal boxes she picked it up. A new hardcore cool I-pod. "This is so mine. Let's see what stuff they have on it."

Looking through she finally picked a song, a really random song. 'Boom Boom Boom - Aqua' the great ninja officially loved this person that left this. So Yuffie stood there doing little dance moves while waiting for someone to scream bloody murder.

Reno just looked at the people around him. They paid him no mind and waited for a little longer. Reno just removed his keyblade from his shoulders and held it anxiously. He was ready, but there was something missing. Reno did fight better once he was pumped. He shoved ear phones in his ears and played the last song on his I-pod. 'Riot -Three Days Grace' how fitting. He felt the song and its lyrics fill and flood him completely. He turned it off once it ended and then stored it away in his pockets. Now he was ready.

Yuffie continued to jam even into the next song, Vincent was watching her out of the corner of his eye. Just like Yuffie, acting like a kid right before a battle.

The ninja kept an eye on the oncoming wave and on Rufus who was talking into a radio. So she stole a glance towards Mr. Red Chocobo, he was with the silver haired Trio, good fun.

The ninja was really pumped when the snipers started to fire and the huge ass cannons where too. She blared White and Nerdy in her ears watching the wave come closer.

"Com'on you bitches. I want to WIN that BET!" The ninja growled prancing around, earning her some weird looks from the soldiers.

Reno watched Rufus intently and it was obvious that they were still not going to move. He replaced his I-pod and continued to listen to music. Soon AC/DC's Back in Black was pounding in his ears. Reno decided he was just going to listen to music while he fought. Soon Rufus got off of the radio and he spoke loudly to the others. "Let's move." Cloud nodded and soon the entire group was on the move. It was time to attack.


	42. Everything WILL BE RIGGED RIIIIGGGEEEDD

Yuffie was on the move as soon as she saw Rufus mouth the word, 'move,' she was gone. Already twenty feet as Vincent ordered his men to go, he quickly caught up to Yuffie staying behind her as she continued to blare music in her ears.

Within seconds Yuffie and Vincent where already hacking away at the wave of heartless. So the ninja counted, "Let's DANCE BITCHES! One, two, three, DOUBLE KILL!" The ninja barely slowed her stride as she sliced through the heartless in one swing. She wanted to beat the crap out of Axel or Xemnas first, so she was hunting them down, when they where hunting her down.

Reno moved agilely ahead of the rest and started slicing through heartless like they were nothing. He smiled and counted to himself. "One, two..., three, four, five six, seven and eight." They were coming at him quickly. Almost like he was their target. He could feel adrenaline pumping steadily through his veins and loving every second of it. Sure he wanted to hunt down some bigger game, but right now he wanted to start off easy and work his way to the badass prey.

Yuffie grinned as the small crowd of heartless started to back away, as a red head slowly walked towards her.

"Greetings Princess."

"Greetings Jack-ass pansy. Enjoy the chocolate cake?"

"Never, I've always hated chocolate."

"Pansy."

"Bitch."

"Princess Bitch to you, chocolate pansy." Oh how Yuffie loved this insulting game, gave her plenty of time to grab several little surprises for Axel, which she promptly gave to him.

"Happy Birthday Pansy!" From her hands flew flash and smoke grenades, the ninja advanced on Ax el while he was stunned getting in two strong hits on Axel as he tried to back away to recover.

"Bitch." He growled now attacking back, Yuffie parried easily. "Princess Yuffie Bitch Kisaragi, pansy! Address royalty correctly." She joked, jumping back with her new Ipod still singing away. Attacks where constantly traded with neither faltering a bit, until Axel slipped on one of the flash grenades that failed to explode, giving Yuffie the perfect target.

Reno continued on with the heartless and he was up in the thirties at this point. "Thirty five, thirty six, and thirty seven." Reno watched out of the corner of his eye as Yuffie attacked Axel. He continued on and dealt hit after hit. He could see Cloud taking on a wave of ten heartless at once. Everyone was definitely preoccupied.

The ninja instantly got Axel, owning the living shit out of him. Straight in the chest, oh how much this wracked up her rep and kill count.

Reno fought another on onslaught of heartless and then felt a pang in his chest. A sharp pang like that of being stabbed. Reno's eyes widened and he clutched at his chest. "What the aaaah..." A barrage of hits struck him and he felt it. Oozing hastily and spilling from his chest blood soaked through his white shirt. He only knew what could have caused this. He wanted to yell to Yuffie that she ought to stop... but it was too late.

"Payback is a bitch isn't it Axel?" Yuffie grinned as he started to dissolve away, while Yuffie continued to hack away at the now incoming wave of heartless.

Yuffie mouthed the lyrics to Fergilicious as she continued with one hit kills and double to triple kills continuing her count. She even included some dance moves into her attacks, confusing almost everyone. Something rumbled through the air and ground, confusing the shit out of Yuffie this time around.

Axel had started to dissolve away and soon pain hit Reno everywhere. It was like being split in half and he couldn't take it anymore. He screamed out and sunk to the ground and blacked out. Perhaps he had sunken into nothingness and he two would fade away and cease to exist.

Looking up she swore, the ninja did not like the look of that. It was a huge, scary, claimed to be called Dark Side, or something weird like that. It was one of the first heartless things Sora fought when his keyblade crap started.

Yuffie dodged the huge heartless' attacks until Sora yelled out to her. "YUFFIE! RENO!" Turning around she looked at Sora and where he pointed before he was forced to block a heartless. Whipping around once more she saw Reno lying there.

"Bloody fuck!" She swore heading towards Reno as the heartless did also. Her advanced was interrupted as the huge heartless grabbed her, and lifted the ninja to it's glowing eye.

The image of Reno was a little fuzzy. He looked like he was being stretched in two different directions. Soon enough the image split and two forms lay there face down. One pushed itself up and dusted off the dark clothes it was wearing. "Thanks for that." Axel ran off leaving Reno face down in the dirt.

"Oh shit." Yuffie whispered right before it started to slowly crush her. Well this fucking sucks, the ninja thought as she looked at the sky, so this is how the Great Princess Ninja of Wutai dies, due to a freakin' heartless. Or rather a super-sized heartless. _That's so rigged._

**EVERYTHING IS RIGGED!!  
RIIIIGGGGGGEED.**


	43. WHOOOOOOOOoooOOoOoOOo!

Reno pushed himself up and saw Yuffie in grave peril. "Fuck." He run as fast as he could and climbed up a building nearby the huge heartless. Once at the top he readied himself to attack and jumped at it. He sliced at the hand that clutched at Yuffie in an attempt to free her. Taken aback the creature dropped Yuffie. Reno dove after her and the two landed safely on the ground. "Miss me?"

Yuffie was seriously going through a huge vertigo trip and having Reno saving her. "I would if I wasn't wondering why the hell you collapsed." She muttered back standing up and kicking a heartless out of the way.

Reno glared, "Well you apparently tried to kill that son of a bitch and so you almost killed me but something odd happened." Reno sliced at one of the heartless's legs and then at a few littler ones close by. Reno looked up at Axel and just glared.

Looking to the left she could have sworn that she was on something or the song currently playing was fucking with her mind. "I thought I killed you, you son of a bitch." She growled at the grinning Axel standing the huge heartless shoulder. He looked like a midget compared to that heartless and Yuffie was betting that Reno and her looked like tiny little ants.

"You're mine Asshole," He said pointing his keyblade at the red head. "Stay alive, because later I'm coming back for you." Reno ran off and started taking down heartless. "Oh yeah, forty five, forty seven, forty nine..." He was going to win. There was no other option.

Yuffie blinked at Reno then it finally hit her. "Ooh. Kind of forgot about that little fact. Sorry about that. It was far too tempting to get him. So I'm going to get Sora and try to hunt down Xemnas kay?" Yuffie yelled as she already started to hack away to where Sora might be.

"Fifty five, fifty six, Hey Vincent!" The ninja chirped seeing Vincent only a few feet away from her and Sora. Ducking down to dodge another attack from the behemoth heartless that Axel was controlling now.

"I thought Reno was handling that thing!" Sora called out to Yuffie slashing more heartless away.

"So did I. But you and me need to hunt down Mr. Xemnas!" Yuffie called back.

Reno was getting pissed off with all of the damn heartless and just threw his blade kind of like a boomerang. "Fifty three, fifty six, fifty nine, sixty five, and sixty six." he finished as he caught his keyblade. He sent it again in another round "Sixty nine, seventy three, seventy five, seventy eight, and eighty!" Reno proclaimed to no one in particular and then went back at hacking away at the rather large heartless's ankles for a bit.

He then scaled the same building as before and landed on its shoulders. Reno slashed at his arm and then at the large monster's neck. It seemed to convulse a little. He had hit a nerve or something. It violently whirled to the left and again Reno hit its neck.

"Yuffie!" Sora yelled, warning Yuffie to duck right before one of the flailing arms of Axel's heartless flew overhead. Quickly turning around the ninja placed her knee on the ground interlocked her hands and yelled at Sora, "SORA! JUMP! AIM FOR IT'S HEAD!" The keyblade master nodded, sprinting towards the ninja, in a single second Sora was flown high into the air, thanks to the boost from Yuffie, aiming for neck, but sadly Axel got in the way.

"Damn," Yuffie muttered quickly shaking her hands before kicking a heartless in the face, "Sora needs to lighten up on the fucking ice-cream. Heavier than freakin' Cloud. Gawd. Eighty!" Poof went another heartless around her hand. "Ow ow ow!" The ninja squeaked as pain rippled through her hand, "Hokay. Note to self, hand to hand combat hurts with heartless!"

**WHOOOOOOOOoooOOoOoOOo!! **

Reno was getting pissed and a little dizzy with all the whirling the heartless was doing. Sora wasn't able to finish the huge heartless and so he jabbed the great heartless in the neck and the thing stilled and swayed forward and backward. Finally the large thing tumbled backward onto the ground and vanished. "Hm... I should get some bonus points for that!" Reno ran in the direction of a large group of heartless. "Eighty three, eighty five, and ninety." He took out a few more and saw Vincent a few yards away. What was up the vampire's ass... he didn't know.

What was the Vampire's ass was... CHAOS! Or well, he turned into that and started to slaughter the shit out of the heartless. Yuffie despised Vincent turning into Chaos, she could sense that he was turning before it even happened. Annoyed the crap out of the ninja, almost as much as Lucrecia, but nothing could annoy Yuffie as much as Lucrecia did. Even though the great ninja never met her, and she prayed that she never will.

"Ninety one, Ninety two. Holy Shit." Yuffie muttered while slashing through more little heartless ants. Xemnas was walking her way, well more like sauntering, but it's the same thing. Except one looked more gay-ish on certain people and you just wanted to snicker at them, well Yuffie did at least. But when you have an army of heartless around you, the big bad man sauntering towards you, it's kind of hard to laugh at a time like this. So mental Chibi-Yuffie did, until Chibi-Yuffie exploded in a flame of confetti and candy.

Reno tossed his keyblade again, "Ninety six, ninety nine, and one hundred!" Reno saw Xemnas sauntering over to Yuffie and started slashing through heartless to get to her. "... and six, and a hundred and seven!" He skidded over to her and grabbed her arm. "You ok?"

"Uh no. My feet are kind of frozen to the ground." Yuffie pointed down to her feet, completely encrusted with ice. Plus Mr. Big Bad and Evil with a cow like outfit was there grinning. How he managed to ice her feet to the ground without her really noticing was pretty amazing.

"How cute. Prince Charming to the rescue." Xemnas snickered at Yuffie and Reno.

"Prince Charming MY ASS!" Yuffie yelled throwing a sticky grenade and a couple of her mini stars. The sticky grenade exploded covering Xemnas in bright pink goo, which was slightly acidic so it started to eat through his clothes and anything else it touched. Somehow once again the mini stars landed in Xemnas' hair, trapped by his hair gel, or whatever he used to make his hair stick up like that.

Reno glanced at her feet and sliced through the ice being careful of her feet. "Hell, no. I'm Prince Charming-You-Into-Bed if anything." Reno slashed at a slightly bigger heartless that had launched itself at the pair. "A hundred and eight!" Reno smiled and looked down at Yuffie.

"Well the bed didn't think you where charming at all. One hundred and nine!" The ninja chirped releasing her leg with a powerful kick, and nailing another heartless in the process. Oh how Xemnas was mad now, he was covered in burning PINK goo, with shurkins in his hair and today wasn't going well at all for him.

Reno had just sliced through five more heartless and proclaimed "one hundred and thirteen!" He looked at Xemnas and tried not to laugh. Pink was definitely not his color. Pink plus cow print didn't mix, didn't mix at all! So Mr. Cow Suit decided to go all out and get this over with. Concentrating he created a wave of darkness that only he could see through sending it straight at the couple. His grin was dripping in venom; he hoped that the ninja would take the bait.

"Aww shiiiitt." Yuffie squeaked as the rolling wave of black came towards them, she only had one foot free and there was no time. Her mind quickly processed several options and randomly picked a one. Grabbing Reno by his collar Yuffie threw, or pushed him away from the wave. The wave stopped mere inches in front of Reno before disappearing with the ninja and Xemnas. Yuffie took the bait without without knowing it.

**TEEE HEEEE!! 100 pages bitches!**

**100 freakin' pages. I feel.. MAGICAL.**

**I WANT ART/COSPLAYPICTURES/LOVE NOW. D**

**Like I'm going to get that. ... Cries**


	44. Magical Room is not the Fun box Oh no

Reno saw his venomous grin and knew that nothing good could come of it. Then he saw the wave of darkness. He was about to push her away when she grabbed him by the collar and pushed with all of her strength. It caught him off guard and he fell to the ground. "**Yuffie!**" He tried to grab onto her, but failed. She was alone in the darkness.

Slowly opening her eyes she found a black world, everywhere. Just like the time with Nero, only, maybe, a little less creepy.. For now at least. Yuffie looked down and her right foot was still an ice-cube. "Great. I'm going to be a one legged ninja princess. That's f'ed up. Even better with the story, 'Aunt Yuffie how did you loose your leg? Well let me tell you... It was frozen off end of story go choke on a cookie.' Hahaha." She growled chipping off small pieces of the ice.

Yuffie was surprised that Xemnas didn't appear yet, so off went the ninja walking with a smaller ice-cube on her leg. Before long she noticed something in her pocket, it was the damned key! "OH FUCK NO YOU DON'T!" The ninja swore throwing the key, it went and stopped in mid-air. Hovered and started to fly back towards Yuffie. "WHAT THAT IS RIGGED! I'M GONNA DIE BY KEY!" She yelled ducking in time.

"Hokay this is even creepier than Nero's little mind fuck. I'm going to be killed by a fucking flying key. Jeeze. Someone must really hate my guts right now." She growled running as fast as she could from the devilish key. "It's POSSESSED! BY **LUCRECIA**!" Yuffie deducted out loud into the nothingness.

To say that Reno was pissed was like saying that Cloud was only a little blond. He was so damn pissed he took it out on all the heartless he could find. Reno began breathing heavily and then he craned his head up. There he was. Reno ran at Axel and tackled him to the ground, "Where is she?"

Axel just grinned at him; he did enjoy this look on Reno. "Aww. The Princess is gone? I don't know where he took her, but hey, it's one less problem in your hair. Also nice expression, I say it fits you well." He joked right before kicking Reno in the gut launching Reno off of him.

Reno just sneered down at him, "I think you do know. You just don't want to tell me because you're an utter bastard!" He felt Axel's feet connect to his stomach and he grit his teeth.

Standing up Axel was pretty much aflame, oh how he will enjoy beating Reno up. So the battle begun with flames spewing everywhere, friendly fire didn't mean a crap to Axel.

"You're going to tell me... or I'll kill you." Reno was furious, and he just wanted to take out his frustrations and anger on him. Reno gripped his keyblade tighter, "And I will, now that I have the means." Reno waited for Axel to strike, because even tough he was pissed he wasn't going to make stupid moves.

"Oh really? Last time I check I was able to split from your body without much harm to my body. Can't say that about you." Axel jested at Reno, "Pft. Why in hell would I care about where your little brat is? I kind of hope that Xemnas has already ripped her heart out." A sadistic smile smeared across his face, playing on people emotions was always fun.

Reno smirked, "Yeah, because someone else tried to kill you. You never actually had me try and kill you. Have you?" Reno couldn't take his shit any more. "Yeah, well we'll see how you feel when your bleeding half to death." Reno walked forward cautiously toward the fiery red head.

"Oh I'm soooOOOo scared of your pansy little helicopter of a keyblade. It's pretty much an insult to all the keyblades out there. I mean seriously? A red chocobo? That's just as bad as me getting frosting in my face thanks to your little twig." Axel jested, he wanted Reno to attack blindly, but if that didn't work he had a plan two.

Yuffie was still being chased by the key, this was some crap-tastic horror movie but with a key. The ninja thought of an idea, since she was getting tired of running, and it felt kind of embarrassing to run away from a key..

Like the true ninja she was, she was able to turn around and grab the key in midair, thankfully it stopped moving. "Well.. That was kind of pointless." Yuffie muttered. She looked up and blinked, in that brief second there was darkness, now blinding white walls with doors carved into them. All with some kind of lock and different designs on them.

"Well this is just really fucking RIGGED. RIGGED I FUCKING TELL YOU!" She yelled covering her eyes slowly adjusting to the sudden transfer of color. So the ninja started to wander down the hall looking at the doors wondering.

"Which one oh little chibi?" Yuffie whispered knowing that if she fucked this up well.. She didn't want to think about it.

"Com'on Yuffie the world totally depends on you. TOTALLY DEPENDS ON YOU. To save or destroy it.. Which is f-ed up really. F-FREAKIN-UP. Gawd. A Princess should not have to make these decisions. Let's do Eenie, Meanie, Minie, Mo." Yuffie was very confused on which door to choose. I mean it's kind of hard to pick one where there's a sign that says 'PICK ME!' is written on a cardboard box and you have a good chance at destroying the world.

"WHY ISN'T THERE A SIGN THAT SAYS, 'This one doesn't destroy everything.' LABELED ON IT! GRAW." Yuffie yelled into the empty hallway.

Yuffie did not have a plan two, three, four, five, or six. Not even a really long titled one. So she sat down nearly crying 'cause she had nothing to do.

**Magical roooooommm...**

**Mmmmm... Cookies... Bwhahaha!**

**I am lazy... Don't shoot me.. Please?**


	45. Doughnuts?

**Hey hey look! An update once again! WEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee**

"Hey! Hey Yuffie." The ninja looked up highly confused.

"Am I going insane?" She questioned the room.

"Nope. Not really. I just wanted to point some things out to you."

"Yup. I'm going crazy the fucking room is talking to me."

"Well you are kind of in a surreal world."

"So why isn't Xemnas here trying to kill me?"

"Because I kicked his sorry cow ass."

"Cool."

"Anyway. You need to pick the right door an-"

"I already know that. Gawd. You're not much help."

"I'm sorry if I'm just a fucking room gawd. I'm trying to help you. So shut the fuck up." The ninja was amaze d that the room swore and kicked the Cow man's ass. So she remained silent kind of afraid of the room now.. Or her own sanity.

"That key there, it can open several rooms. So if you fuck up on the first few times you can fix it. But you only get six tries. The last one is the final one, or whichever one you walk into. Also I suggest finding pictures you recognize. Anyway time for brunch! Good luck little ninja!" The room returned to being quiet and empty as Yuffie yelled at the room.

"I'M NOT LITTLE!!" Sighing she started to look at the doors closer this time. There was random little pictures on the doors. Really random pictures. Like a drawing done by Sora, a craptastic stick person. Who can screw that up? Yuffie thought laughing.

"HEY THAT'S IT!" The ninja yelled a sudden thought popping into her head. She ran to a door that had little throwing stars all over it and opened it.

"Da fuck? Doughnuts?"

Reno sneered and there was only a few feet between the two. "You're just mad because you're not badass enough to have one. Shut up up you chocolate covered pansy ass mother fucker." Reno was getting tense and didn't want to act rashly. "Are you just going to stand there or are you just afraid?"

"Aww. Is someone touchy about their pet twig? That's sooo cute." Axel mustered a cute little face before grinning once again. "Personally keyblades don't look that stylish, I do prefer my flaming pinwheels though." The blades where spinning in midair next to his hands, aflame. Very stylish indeed.

"I'm standing here waiting, to see what you will do. That's all." Axel replied calmly, almost yawning also.

"Hokay, shot number one down the drain." Yuffie muttered closing the door with the room full of doughnuts.

"Next! Chocobos!" She cheered running about twenty feet before skidding to a halt. The ninja opened this door and looked in. It was empty, except one little thing. Intrigued by it she leaned closer to see what it was, before being shoved in.

"SHIIITTT." Yuffie screamed as she fell face first as the door closed and locked behind her.

"I think I just fucked this up room."

"Nope." A faint whisper replied to Yuffie's comment.

"I'm not touchy. Cute? Who the hell do you think you are calling cute?" Reno smirked and sliced through the air jestingly. "Well you should take some initiative." Reno was getting pissed with all the banter and lunged at Axel.

**I BE MYSTERIOUS! LAWLZ! **


	46. Where's the fire extingusherer?

Precisely what Axel wanted, Reno was pissed he was pissed and wanted a little bit of revenge and such. Quickly sidestepping Reno's attack, Axel managed to lightly wound Reno's side. Hopping back a distance he grinned at Reno. It was only the beginning.

Reno hissed at the new found pain in his side. He could feel the blood run down his side. "Guess your aim has improved."

It was only the end for Yuffie.

"This is FUCKED up. Seriously? More darkness? WHAT THE FUCK. Gawd. Oh look... Materia orb!" She complained then chirped when she saw the blue orb. She followed it and the orb started to roll away from her.

"How dare you run away from Yuffie Kisaragi Princess of Wutai!?" The ninja growled chasing the thing faster and faster. Suddenly she dived for the materia orb, grasping it she cheered out loud until she was roughly thrown forward onto her stomach in some20dirt. She had appeared back into the real world with a red orb in her hand. Reno to the left and Axel to the right of her.

"The fuck?" Yuffie mouthed looking around at the battle field and at Reno.

"What the hell?" Axel returned staring at the ninja that suddenly dived out of no where into the ground.

"Oh shit." Yuffie muttered looking at Axel, he was a good ten feet closer to her than Reno.

Reno was about to attack when Yuffie stumbled into sight. "What the fuck? Yuffie! Where on earth were you?"

Reno ran over to Yuffie and hugged her.

Yuffie returned the hug before answering Reno's question. "I would like to know where I was also. Because it was dark and everything, then a huge ass white room with many doors. Plus the room could talk and what not. But yeah... I had no idea where I was. But I did find a materia orb." She held up the magical red orb grinning, if anything went wrong with Yuffie you could always fix it with giving her some materia. Her favorite addiction.

"Ok, that sounds weird. Well I guess. What weird is after what we've been though is debatable." Reno watched her fish out a bright red orb and smiled.

"Ooh look it matches your hair! You should put it in your hair like Areith did!" Yuffie chirped forgetting about the huge ass battle going on around them. Then it returned to them when Axel opened his big damned mouth.

"Of course it does and no. I will not put materia in my hair." Reno turned his attention to Axel and let go of Yuffie.

"Oh how cute. Prince charming reunited with the Princess brat. Now I can kill you both at the same time!" Axel growled sending up a huge wall of fire around them both and a small area.

"Apparently I'm more charming and princely than people give me credit for." Reno then narrowed his eyes at Axel. His eyes darted around the small fire enclosed area. "Shit."

"Shit. I don't have a fire extinguisher with me Reno. Do you?" Yuffie muttered turning to face Axel drawing her shurkin which wasn't there.

Reno heard Yuffie and shook his head, "No, but wait let me check my pants, because I always happen to have one there!" His sarcasm dripped from his words. He gripped his keyblade tighter and tried to think of something.

"The hell?! Did that damn room eat my SHURKIN?!" The ninja swore as she patted down her whole body to find one of her hidden weapons, none of them existed. Thankfully her armor survived the disappearing act.

"I have no clue where it went. Think of something fast, otherwise... well I don't want to think about it."

Yuffie danced around the spot. More jump/twitched randomly her ninja brain was running about five bajillion miles per freaking quarter of a second.

"I'm thinking! I'm thinking! I'm thinking! I'm thinking! I'm thinking! GAH! I have nothing. WAIT!" Yuffie yelled quickly spinning around facing Axel.

"Prepare for OWNAGE CHOCOLATE PANSY!" The ninja yelled at Axel, which sent him over the edge.

"Why you fucking little bitch!" Axel yelled at he lunged at Yuffie, as he closed in Yuffie powered up her throw.

"Com'on little buddy, don't let the ninja down." The ninja whispered aiming at the now growing target. When he was only a few feet away from her she let the materia orb go flying into his face.

Or rather, be absorbed into his face, which instantly stopped Axel but not his weapons. The great ninja dodged one but was cut with the other, right across her stomach. Still thinking that Axel was still coming at her she rolled to the side and stood up preparing for an attack which never came.

Frozen there just like a statue Axel stood there eyes wide open in surprise. Then he slowly started to fade away, still motionless but Yuffie could tell that if he had a voice he would be swearing right now. Really, really, loudly and at her.

"Well. Little buddy did not let me down at all..." Yuffie commented slowly walking towards the fading nobody.

Reno watched the materia orb fly at Axel and was relieved. He took the time to approach Yuffie and found a healing materia and used it on her. "Be careful!"

He looked back and found that Axel was becoming less hazy and saw his figure moving. He grabbed onto him and soon enough Reno himself was becoming hazy. "Oh shit!" What would become of the two he wasn't sure.

"No! SHIT!" Yuffie swore slightly panicking. She had no idea on what do to and the minor fact that Reno was DISAPPEARING! _That bastard OWES me a dinner! _Yuffie yelled in her mind trying to calm herself down, but that didn't.

Doing not the brightest thing Yuffie grabbed Reno's hand but only grabbed empty air. This freaked the ninja out.


	47. Reno the Friendly Turkey Ghost

"The hell?! You are SO not becoming Reno the friendly ghost!" Yuffie growled still trying to grab him, hand, wrist, shoulder, jacket, she even tried the neck. NOTHING.

After a few moments of Yuffie panicking Reno became solid. He stumbled to the ground and remained there, flat on his face and couldn't move at all. Axel was nowhere to be found. Reno rolled over and stared up at the sky. "What the hell was that?" Reno closed his eyes tightly and felt like his head was going to explode and his entire body ached.

The ninja sat down by the Turk wondering what the hell just happened. "I would love to know that also! But right now we have a tiny little problem." Yuffie squeaked looking up. The fiery wall that Axel created was gone and the only thing waiting behind it was heartless.

None of the others where in site, so no back up will be arriving anytime soon. A weaponless ninja and a crippled Turk was almost no match for the swarm of heartless waiting to attack. But they just stood at the edges waiting, for something, which worried Yuffie even more.

Reno felt the aching dull and his head still was throbbing. He hoisted himself up and saw Axel's weapons to the side. He stood next to them. "Well where ever Axel is, he forgot his stuff." His hand hung in midair above one and lowered it in attempts to pick it up. One hovered in the air above his hand and was set ablaze once more. "Whoa!" Reno looked at the heartless and the pinwheel took it upon itself to take out a huge section of heartless. "Holy Shi-" The second one sprung to life and followed the other in its attack.

Most of the heartless were gone and there were only about fifty or so left. Reno looked over at Yuffie, not with his normal blue eyes but with electric green ones.

Yuffie looked at him like he just grew another head, or something along those lines. She was seriously freaked out by the minor fact that Reno was starting to look like Axel. She prayed that he didn't completely change his appearance to Axel's. That would be really, really weird, and bad. Really, really bad.

"Uhh.. I think I know where Axel went." The ninja commented taking a small step back, slightly afraid now. When you need Mr. Emo-pants he wasn't there to help out. Stupid Mr. Emo-vampire-pants.

Reno just smirked, "I bet you do Princess." Reno took a step forward and clutched at his head as if it were going to split in two. "FUCK!" He fell to his knees and landed before Yuffie's feet.

Reno picked himself up once more. His eyes were still electric green, but the look in them was something absolutely sinister. "Glad you cared so much about me. Did you miss me Princess?" He grinned. Reno's voice hadn't sounded like himself. The voice was absolutely one hundred percent Axel.

Now Yuffie was extremely concerned. It was bad enough thinking that Reno was turning into Axel.

But sounding like him?

Well that was one hell of a **mind fuck.**

"Um. I'm not missing you Axel. But I am missing Reno right about now. I am really missing him.." Yuffie squeaked staring at Reno, _er... Wait... Axel?_

The question in the ninja mind was, _HOOOOOOO OOOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTT!! Wait that's not a question! There it is! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?! Should I run or not or run or not run or not run or not? AH!_

Soon Reno's voice was back and his eyes were their beautiful shade of blue. "What the?" He shook his head and closed his eyes again. "Could you tell me what the hell that was?" Reno felt a shiver down his spine and had Axel's voice protesting in his head.

Yuffie just stared at him with her mouth open, she was just as confused as he was, and maybe just a little bit more. But that thought was so rudely interrupted, or thankfully by none other than...

Sora!

"Hey Yuffie and Reno! Do you know what's up with almost all of the heartless disappearing?" Sora yelled as he ran closer, killing any heartless that he came across.

"I don't know!" Yuffie yelled back, but he was right almost all of the heartless where gone now. She wasn't too sure if that was a good thing or really, really bad... Most likely the second thing.

"Have you seen Mr. Cowprint Xemnas?!" Yuffie yelled back now remembering the creep that sent her into the freakin' abyss of annoyance.

"No... I haven't." Sora answered between a couple of breaths when he finally arrived. Things might be heading down the drain faster than ever.

While Yuffie was talking to Sora Reno was dealing with some internal conflict...literally. All he could hear was Axel's voice fill his mind completely.

"I hate you so fucking much! I'm going to ruin what you had like what you did to me."

His thoughts seemed to materialize a voice of their own, "Give it your best shot. Either way you're screwed and we're in the same boat. This is my body and if you're going to 'share' it then fucking behave!"

"Fat chance!" Axel scoffed at the idea of a truce.

"You didn't have a heart and now... I guess you do. You're complete... so shouldn't you be happy or something?" Reno questioned.

If Axel had his own body he would have crossed his arms and would have looked deep in thought, "You would think, but no. You just don't get what it's like to be a nobody. It's kind of lonely, 'cept for the Organization. I don't like them all too much, but there was one of them I did."

Reno asked one last question, "Who was that?"

He only received one word and no explanation. "Roxas."

Sora and Yuffie both heard the conversation between Reno and.. What looked like Reno but was in fact Axel.

"Yuffie...?"

"I can totally explain!" The ninja blurted out eyes wide with others coming towards them. So she did. Very quickly.

"Reno and Axel are now one I think and they're both fighting for control over the body. How this happened I don't know... Roxas?" She finished with a question. Now it was Sora's time to explain.

"My nobody."

"Aw shit."

"What?"


	48. Mystery Bet?

"Axel." Yuffie commenting pointing towards Reno, his eyes, face and hair style where starting to change again. Not to mention the freaking voice of Axel coming out of Reno.

"Any ideas?" The ninja squeaked wondering what to do..

"No... Just protect him from maybe the others..." Sora offered, he had no experience in this kind of situation. It was about to get worse also, almost everyone was in hearing distance and well, Reno was still talking, Yuffie panicking and Sora was thinking.

Reno was still oblivious to their talking still. He and Axel were still talking, sort of.

"Who the hell is Roxas? Why is he so important?"

"Roxas was the thirteenth member and Sora's nobody. He..." Axel paused and Reno wasn't sure if he had been completely absorbed and taken over by the rest of his own personality. "He, was the one I liked the best. Roxas made me feel like I had a heart."

Reno was going to add that it was those kinds of words that gave people the impression that you were gay, but thankfully that thought was not mentally verbalized. "I see. Well, I doubt you'll believe me, and you'll think I'm just giving you a boat load of bullshit... but I really am sorry."

Axel would have a stunned expression on his face, if there was a face for him to make such an expression with. "You know... I actually believe you."

Everyone was there, even the silver haired trio which wasn't good. AT ALL. In the ninja's mind at least, so she was panicking.

"Yuffie why is Reno over there talking to himself?" Cloud asked looking at Reno then Yuffie.

"I dunno, told me that he wanted some private time since I just won the bet." The ninja partially lied at least, how much truth there was in winning the bet she wouldn't know.

"What bet." Now Cloud was distracted with everyone else, _gooooooddddd_, the ninja thought. They wouldn't pay attention to Reno and totally FLIP out when they figured out that Axel was someone controlling him.

"Nothing." The ninja teased somewhat, gotta keep them biting!

"Yuffie." Cloud and a couple others growled, winning a bet was a very concerning thing when it came to the ninja and their well being. To their reply was only a cheeky grin and a giggle.

Reno continued his banter with Axel for a little while longer. If he could get Axel to not hate him so much... well things might be better.

"So you care a lot about him. I get it. Well he's not gone... he's just buried in Sora somewhere. It's not the end." Reno couldn't believe the crap that was coming out of his head, but what was truly unbelievable was that he was starting to believe what he was starting to believe it himself.

"I guess, but it's not the same. Anyways, we're not really the bad guys. I know it's going to sound sappy as all shit, but... when you don't have a heart can you really be responsible when you just want to be whole?"

Reno was going to laugh . Ok he kind of did.

"Shut the fuck up! That's it, sharing time is over!"

"So are you going to cooperate?" Reno asked cautiously.

"FUCK NO...um... no." Axel then paused, "Well, maybe a little, but don't expect much!"

Reno's thoughts held a humorous tone, "I would never do that."

Hokay everyone, everyone heard the 'FUCK NO' in not Reno's voice. All eyes turned on Yuffie, including Sora that backstabber no more hugs from the ninja! The ninja growled in her mind.

"I can explain." Yuffie muttered feeling like they where about to kill her for stealing their materia again. They wanted to head over to where Reno was sitting but Yuffie was in the way again with arms out wide.

"Yuffie move." Cloud growled stepping closer.

"I can't do that..." Yuffie muttered slightly scared. Then Vincent slipped by and walked towards Reno . The ninja noticed this when Vincent was pretty much leering over Reno. Oh shiiitt... Her little mind rang, Axel if you do anything I am so going to beat your sorry ASS.

Axel's voice dissipated and Reno now had full control over his being. "Hey! Back off Cloudy, you too Dracula." Reno dusted himself off. "I thought we had an agreement!" Reno walked over to Yuffie and slipped his hand around her waist and the two of them walked off. "So, the heartless are gone. What about the Organization?"

Vincent and Cloud looked at Reno suspecting something, what it was all about? They might never find out, hopefully.

"Wait what agreement?" Yuffie commented as she was slightly dragged along.

"Well as far as I can see there's no Organization members left. Sora claimed to have killed a couple with Kadaj and his buddies helping." The ninja reported looking around at the empty battle field.

"How about we get sushi?" Yuffie asked her stomach growling in response.

"The agreement that they would kill me later. Well later could be never with the way things are going." Reno paused. "Also, I won the bet!" Reno smiled brightly.

"Alright then, there is but one thing to do before our sushi date. We must have a victory party!" Reno led Yuffie off into the general direction of the bar.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" The ninja retorted holding her hands up. "Won the bet? I think not. At the end you had help from Axel which is so unfair." She hissed still letting him direct her towards the bar. She so didn't want to loose for the second time this week to him, stupid winner.

"Well technically it was still me. There was never any rule about having help from my nobody." Reno smirked. "Anyway, let's get going. There is much partying to be had!" Reno looked behind him at the rest of the group lagging behind.

"Damnit! I would have made a rule against that if I had known that you would totally use Axel for your own good. But then again I can totally tell everyone and have them flip out on you.." Yuffie thought out loud, plotting away evilly. "Then Cloud and Vincent would have a real fun time.. Yeeeaaahhh..." Her grin was dripping cute evil goo right about now if that even existed, and it didn't.

"Yeah, well you didn't know. Anyways, I think I should just call it even if you promise to save me a few dances." Reno's gaze held a devilish look link nobody else could.

The others behind them simply smiled behind them or - in Cloud and (mainly) Vincent's case - glare. Despite the disapproval of the could be, would be couple everyone was in high spirits.

Yuffie pondered over this for a few seconds... A few dances verses a week of being a slave to Reno or Axel.. Dances... Slave... Dances of course won out in the ninja's mind. Gave her a chance to pickpocket people.

"Fine, dances it is. But first to the party with drinking!" Yuffie chirped as they came closer to town and the bar.


	49. Give me a V dot the I curl the CTORY!

The two eventually made it to the bar and Reno jumped over the bar and pretended to bartend

The two eventually made it to the bar and Reno jumped over the bar and pretended to bartend. "What'll you have?" He placed many bottles of alcohol on the top and brought out two glasses. He was hoping that Tifa wouldn't yell at him about being back there when he wasn't supposed to.

"Surprise me. No date rape drugs please. I'll make sure Vincent claws your eyes out." The ninja grinned as she started to play around with the built in stereo system. Looking through Tifa's crazy song collection she decided to be brave and grab a random mix before returning back to the bar.

"Coming right up." Reno spun two bottles of liquor. One tequila bottle and another of Jaeger. He juggled them and then quickly poured them into the glasses that were supposed to be for scotch. Then he added cranberry juice, strawberry mix, and a little bit of lime juice. Reno passed Yuffie her drink. "Cheers."

Yuffie grinned and clinked her glass against Reno's before she went bottoms up. Very fruity and a strong alcohol taste, which made Yuffie cough a little bit. After that she just grinned, "Well liquor is fine and all but I'm hungry, is there some snacks back there?" Her stomach growled in loud agreement.

Reno opened the cabinets and tossed anything and everything he found on the top of the bar. "Chips, cookies, and more. You should be all set Princess." Reno smiled and took another large sip of his drink. "Now where does Tif and Spikey keep the music?"

Yuffie dove on top of the cookies and started to munch on them while listening to Reno's question. She grinned, keeping her lips together since her teeth where plastered with cookie guts, pulled out a remote from under the counter and answered his question. "Right here." Click, wirr, click then music started to pour out of the hidden speakers.

"Magical eh?" Yuffie questioned before eating another cookie to quiet her roaring stomach.

Reno watched the ninja eat and absentmindedly munched on a cookie as well. Reno's face contorted in disgust, "How can they listen t o this shit?" He pressed a button and soon a better song filled the small bar. "Much better." Reno looked around. "How long does it take a bunch of people to get to a bar?"

Yuffie rolled her eyes at Reno, and then looked at the door.

"Wait for it..." She clicked out while pressing the volume button then looked at the clock.

"T minus 3... 2... 1... Bingo!" With that countdown tons of people started to slowly appear outside wondering if they should go in. One did and the rest followed, when the first came over Yuffie hopped up onto the bar and grabbed the Karaoke mic.

"Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to mini victory party! All are welcomed but no free drinks right now." Then people really started to stream in and Yuffie hopped behind the bar showing off her bartending and ninja skills as well.

Reno's eyebrows disappeared into his hair in surprise. "How'd you know?" He grabbed the booze and started making a huge order of drinks. After serving about twenty to thirty people he was finally able to talk to Yuffie.

"How did I know what?" Yuffie grinned after throwing two bottles up into the air and catching them behind her back.

"When they come in? I've been here for several months almost 24/7. You know how to draw a crowd. Hey looks like Tif is going to give us a break." Yuffie grinned waiting for Tifa to hurry her fat boobs over there.

"I see. Well that makes perfect sense." Reno flipped three bottles of booze and caught them all and poured the last girl her drink. "Well then she better get over here now!" Reno smirked and repositioned his goggles. "I want to get dancing."

Tifa finally arrived with her melons and Mr. Chocobo. Grinning Yuffie waved at them before jumping over the counter and the people all along the counter onto the main floor stretching.

"Hurry up Turkey! Or I'll dance with someone else first!" The ninja called to the Turkey now slightly trapped. She started to head towards the dance floor.

Reno just smiled at the two. "Later, I have to go catch my dance partner." He jumped on top of the bar and jumped down into the crowd. He pushed past throngs of people to catch up to Yuffie. Soon enough he had her right where he wanted her. Reno grabbed her wrist and spun her out and then into him. Her back was pressed up against him. "So wanna dance?"

Yuffie grinned and started to slowly move to the song, "Took you long enough. Riku was just about to reach me and ask me for a dance." Looking at Riku the ninja grinned and waved at him, he waved back before disappearing into the bodies.

Before Yuffie's gesture was finished another more upbeat song turned on and she quickly spun around to face. For some unknown reason Tifa had Aqua - Boom Boom Boom BLARING into the room. The ninja seriously wondered if Tifa was trying something, maybe she was..

"Aww poor Riku, maybe Kadaj wants a dance." He grinned at his own joke. Reno looked at Yuffie, "Do you still have the remote? If so, are you trying to tell me something?" He had no clue as to what the bar maid had up her sleeve.

Tifa looked at Cloud. "Ok, so I got the songs all set up."

Tifa smiled, "Great."

Cloud opened his mouth and shut it and then decided that he had to ask, "Why did you put the music player full of suggestive music?"

Tifa sighed, "Because, I think Reno could be good for Yuffie and Yuffie could be good for Reno."

Cloud's face contorted in confusion, "Why?"

Tifa was frustrated with the blond, "Well, Reno's just seemed different lately and Yuffie seems... improved I suppose." The bar maid passed another drink down the long wooden bar. She thought the two were kind of cute together and besides... it just seemed to work. Oddly, but it worked.

Cloud broke her thoughts. "Well ok, but I'm not responsible if the Red headed Turk with the sex drive of a million attacks Yuffie."

Tifa smiled, "Maybe it won't be Reno that does the attacking."

Cloud slapped his hands over his ears, "I **didn't **hear that. I **didn't** hear that."

Tifa watched the Turk and the Ninja from afar as she just smiled at what she had done to the poor chocobo man.

Yuffie did a quick pocket check of herself then of Reno just to make sure that he wasn't doing it.

"Hmm. I think I just may have proved that Tifa is being the ninja bitch tonight. Hmm. Dancing with Kadaj, I think I'll go do that!" Yuffie joked and she tried to inch away from Reno in beat with the music, she just wanted to see his reaction, so she of course was grinning.

Tifa panicked, "Shit! Reno do something!"


	50. Finally, to dinner we go!

Even though he couldn't hear her command Reno acted as soon as Yuffie inched away

Even though he couldn't hear her command Reno acted as soon as Yuffie inched away. He pulled her close again, "Don't even think about it. You're my dance partner." Something in his tone just reeked of sex.

Tifa grabbed the remote from Cloud, "Thank you."

"Hey!"

Tifa switched the song and soon enough 'Guilty Pleasure' by Cobra Starship was bursting from the speakers.

Yuffie looked up at the speakers glaring at them then at Tifa. The ninja mouthed to her, 'I know what you are doing... Watch your back.' Before she was spun away from the line of sight that is Tifa and blocked by Reno and a mob of bodies. "Well I'm your dance partner for only what... Two more songs? Remember the deal?" The ninja grinned, oh how she loved things ending up in her favor. Pure loving magic.

If Vincent Valentine had a glass it would be powder right about now, so he settled for sulking on the roof once again.

Reno sighed, "I suppose, but I would like it if you would dance with me for more than two more songs."

Tifa watched as her efforts at matchmaking unfolded in front of her.

Yuffie smirked, "Well that depends. On if my stomach agrees with the liquor, cookies, and dancing. Do you think it will?" She really wanted some real food, and away from the watching eyes that where MRS. BEEEEFFFAAA. The ninja's stomach growled once again, it sounded really pissed off, really really pissed off.

Reno smiled. "Ok, well let's see... we can probably get food, but how about one last song alright. Hey, I'll take you on that sushi dinner if we get one more song in." Reno just wanted a little longer with Yuffie before they left.

Yuffie knew that she should reject fearing the suggestive power Tifa might bring on and then again. She did owe Reno one more song and what could one song do? Maybe she shouldn't have even thought about that question.

"Hokay then. One song, then food. 'Cause any longer I might faint." The ninja grinned.

"Don't worry I would carry you if you fainted." The music slowed down and for once it wasn't all that suggestive. It was 'Far Away' by Nickleback. Perhaps it was just a different kind of suggestive.

Reno turned her around and chew ed on the inside of his lip. He hadn't slow danced in ages. He placed one hand on her lower back and grabbed one of her hands in the proper pose. Then he just mentally told himself to screw it and placed her hand on his shoulder. He put his other hand on her lower back and the two began to glide to the tempo.

The ninja rolled her eyes at another comment by him. "Yeah, I'm sure of that, but I wouldn't know where I was when I woke up. Which would be the scary part with you." Tifa was so going to pay for this, a huge prank was already being planned by the little ninja, but how to go about it was the problem while her arms where being placed on Reno's shoulder and his hand.

"Hm. I didn't know you could dance like this." Yuffie commented, Reno knew some really random crap for a guy, a Turkey guy... Maybe Rufus really did have a messed up mind and a messed up Boot Camp. She would have to spy on that one day. Her stomach growled waiting for the song to finish and to finally get some food. FOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Reno just nodded at her comments. The two whirled around the floor and he just smiled at her surprise at his dancing talents. "Well you pick things up sometimes." Reno hummed along with the tune and soon enough he was full on singing.

The song was just about finished when he did it. He placed his hands over hers and pulled them from his shoulders. Reno spun her around once and then kept an iron grip on her as he dipped her down. He gave her a very charming smirk and his eyes scrutinized hers for a reaction.

The ninja only saw this a thousand miles away, she grinned when Reno did it. Soo predictable, the ninja thought as she made sure to tilt her head all the way back. All she needed was a rose to rise up with and whack him on the head with it, but sadly it didn't exist so there was no whacking the Turkey when he slowly brought her up once again.

"That wasn't-GROOOWWWLLL-Uhuh.." Yuffie tried to comment before her stomach interrupted, ignoring her stomach this much made her feel like she was one of those stupid anorexic chicks who where starving themselves to be thin. "Well let's eat before my stomach tries to kill you, then me!" She chirped heading towards the door.

Reno smiled and then his eyes seemed to grow in size at the angry protest from her stomach. "Got it. You go get ready in something really good and I will pick you up in about ten or fifteen minutes. Trust me it will be worth it." Reno kissed her quickly and then ran out to get to Shinra Corp to grab his bike.

Yuffie rolled her eyes, she was hoping that she could just go out in her normal wear but nooo.. NOOOO... DAMNIT! She swore in her mind as she went upstairs and started to get changed, Tifa forced helped Yuffie as she was getting ready. "Damnit Tifa! I don't want that on my face!"

"YOU WILL LIKE IT!" Tifa growled as she applied the lipstick, Yuffie was deathly afraid now of the bartender growling at her so she stayed quiet.. Then Tifa wrapped her up in a long coat before she let Yuffie wander downstairs again where people where starting to get drunk, so Mrs. Beefa led her out the back way to the front and waited for Reno which wasn't long.

"Holy SHIT. It's freezing!" Yuffie growled pulling the coat tighter around her, damn dresses, DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL! The ninja swore, continuously in her mind.

Reno saw Yuffie standing outside and rolled up to where she was standing with his red motorbike. He came to a stop and called to her, "Get on." He was wearing the usual black dress pants, but he was wearing a leather jacket that made it impossible to see what he was wearing underneath it.

"Dear god FINALLY! See ya later Beefa!" Yuffie called out to Tifa as she quickly hopped on wrapping her arms around Reno. "Hokay Reno, so super charged ride alright? I really don't want to die in this dress." She stated moving herself so she could be comfortable, somewhat. It was very uncomfortable showing so much leg on one side and having the dress slowly, very slowly, ride up on her leg. Oh how people will stare.

Reno smiled, "Don't worry this ride will be much more pleasant. I only go that fast when I'm by myself, or in a hurry. You should still hold on tight though." Reno noticed her dress riding up but kept it to himself as he sped off toward the best and most expensive sushi restaurant in town.

"I hope so or I will poke you in the eyes with fucking chopsticks." The ninja growled holding on tight as she waited to arrive and eat some food. Right now she was slowly freezing behind Reno, Stupid Dress, STUPID DRESS! She continued to growl in her head.

Reno pulled up to the parking lot and pulled the keys from the ignition. He stepped off the bike and looked over at Yuffie. "Come on, I know your hungry!" The two of them entered the restaurant. This was going to be one interesting date.

The ninja rolled her eyes while stepping off the bike, carefully. Very, very, carefully as she slowly defrosted. Just like how Tifa taught her, she walked on the deadly heels and carefully had her arm around Reno's, hurray for high end restaurants.. Take out would have just been fine, oh well. She wanted to sit, the heels where already starting to kill her feet, the damnation that where heels!** TRUE DAMNATION!**

Reno saw the host and tried to be polite and gentlemanly. "Hi, um... Reno party of two?" He was so off right now. Reno felt uncomfortable in this setting right now, but once they were at the table everything would be fine.

They were seated and Reno pulled out Yuffie's chair for her. He sat down himself and then looked at the menu. "What are you having?"

Yuffie quickly glanced around, gawd it's just like back home, but I'm not the center of attention this time around. Yaaaayyy!! The ninja's mind chirped as she sat down and opened her menu.

"Well of course the sushi and sashimi course, with some Plum wine. You?" She rattled off only looking at a few of the items, thankfully her stomach was being very quiet. Very, very, very quiet.

"I might just have the same." Reno said and closed his menu promptly. A dark haired waiter dressed in a pristinely white shirt and freshly pressed black pants came over.

"May I take your order?"

Reno nodded, "We'll both have the sushi and sashimi course with some plum wine." He handed the waiter the menus as he scurried off.

"Well he was cute." The ninja commented an evil plot already going through her mind, which was just about to be disclosed.

"Anyway Reno I have something important to tell you." She nervously grinned at Reno. _You can dooo it!_ Little chibi Yuffie cheered in the ninja's mind.


	51. Watch me EXPLODE or be KILLED AAAHHH!

"What is it

"What is it?" He questioned as he took a sip of water.

"Reno.. I'm pregnant." She wondered if he would notice that this wasn't physically possible since nothing like that has happened yet between them. Let's see how smart the turkey is, chibi Yuffie chirped waiting for his reaction.

Once he heard her reply he sputtered and almost choked. "What?" He stopped and his breathing became more intense, "You can't be... I'M NOT READY TO BE A FATHER. I DON'T EVEN REALLY LIKE CHILDREN! WE JUST GOT TOGETHER AND WE WERE JUST ABOUT TO MOVE IN TOGETHER AND HERE YOU ARE PREGNANT! I JUST..." His breathing was so intense he was heaving, "I DON'T WANNA BE DADDY!" He was finally done ranting and continued to pant.

During his rant Yuffie tried to keep a straight face, she puckered her lips, covered them with her hand, but her eyes glimmered of laughter. Then she just couldn't take it anymore, she giggled and did a small snort of laughter also.

"Reno, I was kidding. I'm not pregnant." Reno continued to heave, "I JUST CAN'T..." he stopped mid-sentence and his eyes widened. "That's not funny. Don't ever do that again." After you had dreams like Reno you never wanted to hear that.

She gently laid a hand on his twitching one, "A joke, besides who told you I was going to move in with you?" The ninja joked her eyes still gleaming at the fact that she totally freaked out Reno to the point of insanity. Thankfully their dinner arrived so the ninja started to chow down, while waiting for Reno's retort.

"You said you would move in with me." Reno poked at his food and sipped his drink trying to calm himself.

The ninja rolled her eyes at Reno and also sipped her drink. "I never said that. If I really have to make fun of you I'll go tell Cloud and Vincent this little joke, minus saying that it is joke." By that time the food arrived and Yuffie started to dig in, slowly this time.

"You would not!" The Turk looked at her incredulously. Suddenly, he became more interested in his food and finished surprisingly before her.

"Sadly even if I wanted to move in my dad might just kill you. Or Rufus for that matter." The ninja commented sending another roll into her mouth.

"Why on earth would he do that? Rufus might come around... eventually." Reno just stared at his hands.

The ninja grinned sadistically at Reno before eating her last fish slice. "You never know." She wiped her lips stood up and placed her coat on.

"I'll meet you out at your bike." She winked then kissed Reno lightly on the cheek before sauntering out of the restaurant.

Reno paid for the check and tipped the waiter fairly well. He slipped his own jacket on and looked back at the table. Giving the waiter a nod of appreciation he left the building and made his way to his bike.

When he thought about it he wouldn't mind waking up to find Yuffie in his apartment, or bed every morning. Maybe eventually he wouldn't mind being called, "Daddy!" However, Reno was going to take things as they came at him.

Reno gave Yuffie a deep kiss and broke it after a minute or two. The pair rushed off into the night not caring what would happen to them now. If they had survived thus far, a relationship didn't seem all that difficult.

**BWAHAHHAHAAHANNAHAHAHA!**

**IT'S DONE. HO MAI GAWD. D:**

**Anyway, if you demand us to crack rp something look on my profile for rules and guidelines! We're currently doing a Wolves' Rain one since we have nothing better to do.. **


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